Plonk

Mashui is leaving for a month (or maybe forever) and I'm stuck because now I have no one to watch Vir while I work. I could go away to Dehradun where my parents will be happy to watch him, but that's not a long term solution. What if Mashui doesn't come back? Eventually, I suspect, my parents will kick me out, though they'll keep Vir. Or I could find another maid, but somehow, that's not very promising. So, Vijay and I have looked at a couple of day cares where we can send him for about 4 hours or so a day. If we juggle our schedules well enough, it'll only have to be 4 hours. I'll still have some work time left after he's back from day care, which I will cover in the evenings. This whole thing is so stressful because the thought of leaving him away in some "place" is not a happy one. I just want to try it out though - make an honest effort to balance the many parts of my life. If it doesn't work out, I'll have to try something else, because Vir will always be a priority. Something tells me I'm much more bothered about this than he will be...he's been pretty good at adapting to new situations so far. And a situation with lots of other kids, toys, and people willing to play with him all the time has got to be agood one!

We're taking him today for an hour to see how he reacts. Our fingers are crossed and I admit, hearts a little heavy. No fair...I want parenthood to be easy.

Anyone need an interpreter?

This kid is either going to be super cool and multilingual, or completely confused. I talk to him in either English or Hindi. Vijay talks to him in Assamese. Mashui talks to him in Mizo. All three of us talk to him a lot. I'm waiting for him to start talking to see what mix of languages spews forth.

Yesterday, he learnt his first Mizo word - chibai, which means hello. It's the cutest thing...he reaches out his hand extremely professionally for you to shake if you say "Vir, chibai!" And he has also finally figured out how to wave bye, which in his case is a wide flailing of the arm from side to side, in case you're not getting the point - B...Y...E...E...E!

The next thing on the cards, which I think he has almost learnt but not quite is a high five. Yikes, I really am one of those moms who expects too much out of a little one, and then will show off to bored friends all the new things he can do. I should be ashamed of myself.

Headbanger in the house

We should have seen this coming! Vir has always responded really well to music. When he was less than a month old, he had a clear preference for two songs out of the list on my cell phone - Angel Eyes by Raghvan or Rahul something (I may have the name wrong, but I thank him from the bottom of my heart for the number of times he has helped calm a crazy, colicky monster) and Build Me Up, Buttercup from the movie, There's Something About Mary. No other song would do. These two were the answer to everything - make him sleep, calm him down, make him have his milk, distract him during his shots... you name it. Everyone in the family can now sing these two songs in their sleep.

I guess this was the beginning of the latest new thing in his life - dancing! He's not selective about his music anymore. Anything will do - from the infuriating Fisher Price lady who carries on endlessly about itsy bitsy spiders, to music in TV ads and of course, to pop, rock, hip hop, jazz, indipop, trance, and everything in between. He started off with a little rocking of his head in response to any rhythm and has now expanded his dance steps to include full scale headbanging, butt shaking, random arm swaying, and also the only dance "step" his mother knows - shifting his weight from one leg to the other and swaying along! Of course, the type of dance doesn't have to match to the type of music resulting in super funny combinations, such as the latest headbanging to Tracy Chapman's Fast Car. He's also probably the only one ever to think that headbanging and Leonard Cohen go well together. Watching him do it though - they really do!

I don't know if he just has music in his blood, or if all babies do it - just that it never fails to make me laugh!

Some things Vir has taught me so far...

I've been thinking back over the past year and a half. In no particular order, here is what I've learnt ever since Vir came into my life:

1. You don't always get a warning - life changes forever just like that.
2. Change is confusing, but might turn out to be a good thing, if you just give it some time.
3. You'd never have thought it, but you can actually look forward to getting fat!
4. It is possible to spend hours, days, and even months day dreaming.
5. It's possible to go shopping and not even be tempted to get something for yourself.
6. Apetites are relative.
7. No matter what you tell yourself, you cannot be prepared for labor.
8. It really is possible to go through the most excrutiating pain imaginable and then forget how it felt and wonder what all the fuss is about.
9. It's okay to blame your husband (but only because he's super nice about being blamed.)
10. It's not like the movies. You don't have to cry with joy the first time you see your baby. But at some point, maybe even months later, you will.
11. Bringing up a baby is NOT AT ALL like bringing up a dog.
12. Poop can actually shoot in projectiles and hit targets across the room.
13. Baby wipes are a gift from God.
14. Someone else's pooping schedule can become the focus of your whole day. And it's normal to wonder why everyone else doesn't care.
15. You can survive on 1/10th of the sleep you're used to.
16. Extreme happiness can be delivered in the form of the teeny tiny smile from a 6-week old baby. Because you know it's his first smile ever, and that it's for you.
17. Baby smiles never get old.
18. You go through the first 20-30 odd years of your life, before you've had a baby, without a clue of how the other half lives. Then, you get hit with a truck with the words "welcome to the other side" written across the front bumper.
19. You can discuss every minute detail of your kid's day from when he woke up to what he ate to when he slept, pooped, smiled, moved an arm, turned a head, with anyone who's willing to listen.
20. Most people aren't willing to listen. Watch for a glaze over the eyes and you'll know it's time to shut up.
21. There is magic in the word "mama" when it's referring to you.
22. Baby rhymes and songs are endlessly irritating.
23. Dr. Seuss really knew his shit.
24. A cow says moo.
25. Whether you want to or not, if you're a mom, you mean the world to someone, and you just have to live up to the expectation.
26. There's big money to be made in the baby product industry.

This really was no particular order, and all my wisdom is tiring me. I'll be back later to update this list.

A cow says boo

Me: Vir, can you give me a kissie?
Vir: Ptchaah!

Me: Vir, a cow says...?
Vir: Boooo (I know it's mooo, but it always comes out booo, mommy).

This is obviously hugely entertaining for me, and I've never been good at knowing where to stop. So, 1000 times later.

Me: Vir, a cow says...?
Vir: Ptchaah, booooo (now leave me the hell alone, woman!)

10 months!

Here we are, just two months short of the big 1 year mark. It's been a big month in many ways. Here goes:

• Vir can now (are you ready for this...?!) stand on his own! The record time is to the count of 18. I don't think this is the same as 18 seconds, because his nani was the one doing the counting, and she won't admit it, but she counted really fast! In any case, the point is that he can stand, and it's great, and he knows it, and he does it every waking moment.
• He has learnt to give "huggies" to his many very-hungry-for-endless-huggies recipients. It's wonderfully cute - if you ask him for a hug, he gets a totally shy smile on his face, looks down, and launches himself at you with his arms wide open. It can make your day and all it's crap completely worth it - one of those huggies.
• As of this morning, he has also learnt to kiss. Don't think he has figured out the word yet, but he will, if he chooses to, copy your little "wptchaah" sound and smile shyly at you. I got so excited when he did this for the first time, because I've been trying to teach him this for a month...I squealed loudly and scared him and made him cry. Maybe that's why he's not doing it too often.
• The biggest thing this month is that he has demonstrated his ability to manage without me. I was out of town for 4 days, and he spent his time entertaining my parents, who came down to look after him. I missed him terribly - much, much more than I had imagined I would. He missed me too - especially the first night - he kept looking around for me and towards the door thinking I'll show up. But he got used to the situation, I think, or at least sort of resigned himself to it and was perfect the remaining days. One of the happiest memories of my life was his reaction when I got back and met him. I can't quite describe it but perhaps if you think of the thing that makes you think that nothing can ever go wrong because it's just so right, you'll know what I'm talking about. He has me wrapped around his little finger, that one.
• Finally, the list of things and people that he can recognize is fast expanding. From fan and Baggdu, it has now grown to include papa, nana, nani, and Mashui didi. Sadly, it does not include mamma yet. He keeps saying it, but looks quite blank when you ask him where mamma is.

Each month, when I write this list, I am re-amazed at what a miracle this whole thing is and how great it is to see him unfold right in front of us and become his own little person. Now that I've weaned him off completely, this little person is truly ready to get on his own road and be on his way with all of us cheering him on, always.

Quick...start counting before I fall!

I should have posted about this when it happened since it's such a big deal! A few days ago - November 17th to be precise, after months of practice leading up to the big moment, Vir Gogoi finally stood up on his own two feet and stayed there without support from anyone or anything. And stayed there for a full 12 seconds. This, obviously, is no ordinary feat. He knows this more than anyone else, judging by the absolutely wonderful grin on his face when as he balances himself and Vijay and I start to count up how long he can balance. He has this expression of pride at his accomplishment and joy that he's causing us to be so excited, and thrill at being the center of attention (it doesn't get old, does it?), that I cannot describe (I've been trying to catch it in a picture, and will put one up when I manage). And when he falls, it's normally because he starts laughing too hard, or because he turns himself too quickly to make sure Vijay's still watching.

Of course, ever since he first stood up hesitantly, his confidence has grown drastically, as yours would too if you practiced the skill approximately 700 times a day. I'm glad he's giving it his all though, since his two little feet have a long way to go. Touch wood.

I called her on her cell phone...

...and she'll be right down with him. All is well.

We're all going to die..

...or so one would think from the panic in me right now. Mashui, the lady who looks after Vir while I work has taken him to meet a Mizo family who lives just upstairs. She's from Mizoram herself and goes upstairs once in a while to say hello to them. I guess they wanted to meet Vir. But though I told her it's okay, I have had all imaginable thoughts about what the big wide world where I have sent him without my attendance will do to him. The somewhat logical side of me says that Mashui has never been careless with him so far, and will be careful with him, and besides, she'll be back in 5 minutes as promised, and after all, I must learn to let go a little, and of course, he's getting to be quite a big boy now, and I'm literally 18 steps away from him if I take the staircase if something goes wrong, and no, they won't really smoke in front of him because I specifically told them they couldn't, just after I told her she couldn't take him into the balcony. Crap, I forgot to tell her she shouldn't give him anything to eat though. But she knows not to, right? And besides, this might actually be good for him...to start meeting other people and become a little more social, a little more used to other faces. But I don't really know them. And it's taken me at least 5 minutes to write this. Add that to the 3 minutes I spent standing on the balcony to try and hear what was going on upstairs and you have a solid 8 minutes that he has spent upstairs. I'm going to force myself to wait another 5 minutes before I sprint up and check. Just so I know he's okay. Of course, now we all know I'm a little crazy.

It's a Mom!

I'm deviating a little with this post, because I want to write about this really great book I'm reading called "It's a Mom!" by Shefali Tsabary. It's a really honest book and so far (I'm not even 1/4th of the way through) tells it like it is. Which, I can tell you, is not what your average book on motherhood does. There are tonnes of books (really good ones, many of them) which talk about what to expect with the pregnancy, birth, and baby, but they all focus on the baby and his/her developmental stages. This one focuses on the mother and her absolutely crazy range of thoughts and emotions from the time she finds out she's pregnant till pretty much forever after that. I'd definitely recommend you pick this one up if you're pregnant or a new first time mother. Be prepared for a tonne of reality though, which you will nod enthusiastically to if you're a new mother glad that, finally, someone undertands, but which might worry you a tad if you're on your way! I know I feel like someone is venting for me as I'm going through the pages! Someone who knows that even though we whine and vent, we wouldn't exchnage this situation for the whole world. Even if it was made of chocolate.

Random Thoughts

It's a bit sad that Vir had no voice in who his parents should be. He just showed up in my uterus one day and that pretty much determined his whole life - just like that. I'd like to think he'd have chosen Vijay and me out of a line-up if he did have a choice, but sometimes, I'm not completely sure. Like on days when I haven't spent much time with him and just given him cursory hugs in between trips from my computer to the bathroom and back. Or when I find myself getting impatient with him for clinging to me and not wanting me to walk away. Or when I try to force him to eat khichdi but strangely, don't let him chew on Baggdu's tail, which (don't I get it?) is so much better. And I know he can't understand me, but if he could, what would he say to my constant whining about not having watched a movie in almost a year, or not having slept on a full bed for a full night? It's not like he asked to be hungry in the middle of the night, or to have teeth cut out of his gums and make his life difficult.

On the other hand, perhaps he would pass off my strange behavior as "the way grown ups are" and pick me anyway. Because he'd see that noone can love him as I do. And while that doesn't make khichdi any yummier, it's got to count for something.

First Diwali

Vir's first Diwali was on the 9th of this month. We went to Dehradun to spend it with my parents - we always try to make sure we're together on Diwali. It's very predictable - my dad directing the installation of lights on the roof and boundary wall, my mom and I wrapping gifts for people, Vijay eating all the dry fruit out of the bowl on the dining table, and Powder barking at each and every cracker pre-, during-, and post-Diwali. The evening is always the same too - dad, Vijay, and I put candles on every blank surface outside the house while my mom makes the mandir pretty for the evening arti.

Things were a little different this time. For one, my mom had a tiny, 9 month-old helper in her mandir. He sat with her the entire time and busied himself taking out brass diyas from every corner he could crawl into and generally rearranging everything in the mandir. Mum didn't mind at all, but only because it was Vir. Heaven save anyone else who dares to touch anything at all in there. The arti was a little different too, since Vir noisily joined in in the not-very-professional-to-begin-with singing. The customary photo session also had him as the little addition in each and every picture.

All in all, I think he fit really well into the Gandhi family Diwali routine. I hope he grows to love and cherish the "same old" Diwali evenings as much as I do.

Sleep training

I'm desperately in search of a foolproof way to get Vir to sleep on time at night. That's right - I dream of a day when I'll say "Goodnight, Vir" and he'll close his eyes, smile a peaceful little smile and be off to sleep for the entire night, leaving me with some alone time...with Vijay, with the TV, with my computer, and (somebody stop me) maybe even a book!

One of the tricks I tried last night was to lie down in bed with him and pretend to be fast asleep. I thought he'd eventually get bored playing by himself and fall asleep too. I was wrong. At first I thought I was on the right track. He tried all sorts of things to wake me up and get a reaction from me, including hanging by the headboard, crawling on my back, eating the blanket, and nipping at my arm. Then, he got bored and crawled next to me and lay down in exactly the same position as me to see if it was really as much fun as I made it look. Clearly, he didn't think so. It was only a couple of minutes from there till he found my hair and tugged out a few strands. Brave as I may be, I squealed in pain and that was the end of my wonderful plan. He figured out what got him a reaction and went all out to get it. I guess I don't need to tell you how the next couple of hours passed. He's catching up on the lost sleep now. I'll catch up in my next life.

9 months!

I'm two days late on this one. I guess it's okay since he hasn't done anything new in the last two days! He just played till really late at night and didn't let us sleep when we wanted to. But we all know that's nothing new!

So here goes. Vir can now do the following amazing things:

• Smile a dazzling smile that's mostly gums and half of a tooth at people of his choosing. That's right - the razor edge from the 4th of October is now a little stubby half tooth.


• Crawl! I'm particularly proud of this one because he gets it right like he read it in a book. He doesn't go backwards like some babies do, he doesn't fall, he doesn't creep. He gets down there and he crawls like a champ. Vijay and I couldn't be prouder. (We're not the most ambitious as parents go.)


• Pull up to standing very easily and even cruise a couple of steps sometimes.


• Say aaja. Well, he only said it that one time, but he can say it. He's not doing it just to mess with me.


• Feed himself biscuits. He can pick up little pieces from his food tray and aim them towards his mouth. And chew and swallow them.


• Climb vertical surfaces. Obviously he is not successful at this and this exercise always ends in a loud thud. He's proving my baby book right - he has more brawn than brains. This means Vijay and I have more grey hair and less peace.

This 9 month update is special for me because he has now officially spent as much time out in the world as in my tummy. Somehow, that means something. Also, in the last 9 months, he has firmly established himself as the center of our world and we cannot imagine what we thought was our reason for living before he came along.

Independence (or the loosening of ties)

So I'm a little sad. More than a little, perhaps. I have to wean off Vir. I know I have to do it, because he just won't learn to take a bottle or a sippy cup as long as he has the breast milk option. He obviously knows how to make his choices. So, the only way for me to do this is to make a clean break. Only problem is, even though it's been tough, a big part of me has always loved the time he and I have together when I'm feeding him. Now, I feel like I'm breaking a connection. Never again will he depend on me in quite the same way again.

I hope he takes this next week well...I know he won't, actually. And I guess I won't either. But at the end of tunnel is a sippy cup full of formula being gulped happily by the so-far-very-stubborn-Vir.

Biscuits are a serious business

Vir has figured out how to feed himself a biscuit. I broke a couple of small pieces and put them on the tray of his high chair yesterday to see what he would do. With extremely slow and deliberate movements and a very serious expression on his face, he was able to pick up one piece and neatly deposit it into his mouth. He sat and chewed it with his gums for a while, visibly swallowed, and then was ready for the next piece. Only, this time, when he withdrew his hand from his mouth, the biscuit piece came back too. He had forgotten to release it in his mouth. That was confusing. Once he had dealt with the challenge and eaten the second one, the third piece presented a whole new problem. He didn't manage to pick it up neatly with his thumb and forefinger and ended up wrapping it in his whole fist instead. It was funny to watch him search for the lost piece!

The great thing about this is that I now have one more way to keep him occupied for 5-7 minutes at a stretch. At least for now.

Oh my god oh my god!

Vir just said his FIRST WORD!!! I was generally baby talking to him and said, "Vir, aajaa." Without a second's gap, pat comes the reply, as clear as can be - "aajaa." He's refusing to repeat it and wondering what the big fuss is about.

So, I think he's ready to go to college now.

Crawling!

Mom and I were sitting in the drawing room last evening, and Vir was hanging out on the carpet, when all of a sudden, he spotted Khushi's balloon lying in the dining room. Normally, he half crawls-half creeps on his tummy to get wherever he wants to go. But this time, he just got on his hands and knees and started off - crawled properly with full speed and without falling on his tummy even once. It was so wonderful to see him heading out into the open to explore the big, open dining room without a moment's hesitation! I measured the distance later - it was a fully 12 grown up steps.

I'm amazed not so much that he can crawl, but that we were witness to this amazing process of trying and practicing and falling and getting up and failing and succeeding over the last few days till, finally, something clicked, and he just knew what to do and went ahead and did it.

A tooth a tooth!

I can feel the razor edge, and when he lets me, I can even see the tiniest sliver of his budding lower-front-right tooth. Since day before yesterday. So the official tooth anniversary is 4th of October. I just can't wait for the whole thing to come out. And the upper ones too. So we can see the silly gummy grin become a silly toothy grin instead.

He's doing a bunch of other stuff now too...like, yesterday, he pulled up to standing using my dad's knee as a support and then let go - so he was standing by himself for about a second before he fell. He might have stood for longer if mom and I hadn't shocked him by squealing loudly in delight. In our defence though, how often does your first kid/grandkid stand by himself for the first time?

My new project

I went out with my mom today and bought some nice blue wool to knit a sweater for Vir today. This is my ambitious new project. Mom bought some red wool for him. I think she'll finish hers before I do, because, if history is anything to go by, I will lose my enthusiasm and the sweater will be done three years from now. Given that it's for Vir though, I might just finish soon. I will be sure to post pictures to report progress:-). All this just so when Vir grows up and asks if I ever made anything for him (like I ask my mom), I can honestly say yes!

8 Months!

Yay! We're at the 8 month mark! I'm in Dehradun today, so we're celebrating the occasion with nana and nani. Vijay, mummy, and papa are contributing to this list as I'm typing. So, here goes:

• Crawl much more neatly than last month, though not fully yet.
• Get himself from lying on his tummy to sitting (with some struggle).
• Pull himself up to standing from sitting.
• Say blah blah blah and tla tla tla.
• Say mamamama predictably every time he is sleepy or hungry (I suspect he knows what it means!)
• Eat a biscuit by himself, though the last one I gave him mysteriously found it's way into his diaper.
• Tell us, in no uncertain terms, when he is not happy. He could always do that, I guess, but the manner is really funny now!
• Recognize his nana and nani and feel super confortable with them. I think he even knows his Dehradun house now because he doesn't seem to feel new here at all.
• Demonstrate his love for chocolate by lunging towards the piece his nani dangles in front of him despite all obstacles.

I'm waiting to be able to write that he has teeth in the next update. I can feel his lower gum becoming a little more pokey...so hope we're almost there.

Lots of first times

So this has been a fairly eventful week for all of us, and not least for Vir. For one, he fell off the bed for the first time! On the 12th of September...I left him peacefully asleep with cushions on all sides on my (now thankfully low) bed and came back to check on him every 10 minutes or so. Somewhere during one of these 10 minute gaps, he woke up and decided to go on a little trip across the bed and then off it. My mom, who was in the next room, heard the thud-followed-by-wail and ran in to find him sprawled on the floor. He fell on his tummy, I think. He did cry a little and seemed a bit shaken, but, on the whole, I think he took it quite well.

The other first was a family vacation! We all went to Goa...so his first time by the sea. It was really great, although, unfortunately, I couldn't take him near the water because he came down with a high fever and a cough, probably because he's teething. Another first. He's been really cranky and unpredictable for the past few days and has developed a habit of sticking closely to me and bawling if I so much as move out of his direct line of sight for a few seconds. That's a little hard for me since I really can't be with him all the time, but luckily, I have my mom and sister in law around to help out and entertain him while I'm working. I hope this clinginess is just a phase. I think it is, because he's normally a pretty social baby and willing to be entertained by any of his willing admirers! All I need to see now is if this phase will outlast my back and my patience!

Looks matter

I think that children are so cute only because if they weren't, noone would put up with all the backbreaking, mindnumbing, and superfrustrating activities they put you through. Vir knows a lot of the tricks now. He knows that turning his head away at the very last moment as I bring a spoonful of painstakingly prepared khichdi so it goes splat on his cheek is fun because it gets a reaction from me. And the added benefit is that he doesn't have to eat it. He also knows playing at 1 in the morning is more fun than during the day, because it means he has both mom and dad to play with. He has figured out that pulling at the strands of hair on the very nape of mom's neck makes her scream the loudest. He knows he can wake up as many times as he wants at night and mommy will be there to help him back to sleep again. He knows that a fresh diaper is the most fun to poop in, that plastic bags are lots of fun, that mugs of hot tea must be pursued across the bed, and that newspapers are yummy. And he spends a lot of time putting this knowledge into practice. Yet, at the end of the day (or a long night), I can only look at him and smile. Can you imagine if he were not cute?

7 months!

This time, the list isn't as long as some of the previous ones, but it's pretty dramatic!

• Sit unsupported.
• Crawl!! It's not a very "neat" and traditional sort of crawl yet. More like a cross between a creep and a crawl really. But he can move around all over the floor to get at whatever he wants.
• Stretch his arms out all by himself when he decides he wants to come to me.
• Say mamamama, babababa, dadadada, and sometimes nanana quite well.
• Laugh out loud when he touches Baggdu.
• Recognize Baggdu and look his way when you ask him where Baggdu is.
• Protest violently if you take away something he wants.
• Drink water out of a sippy cup.
• Cause Vijay and me to have mini heart attacks every time he rolls to the edge of the bed and almost falls off in 2 seconds flat!

I think that's it for now. I cannot believe he's at the 7 month mark. The major milestone now is 1 year! Yikes.

Sitting!!!

That's right! He can sit now. I'm so thrilled. We went to Bikanerwala for dinner, and I just put him on the table there, holding on to him while I sat down and put down my bag. And there it was - just like that. Sitting on his own. Vijay and I couldn't be prouder.

This development was well timed, since the rest of my week has been utterly depressing, and I really needed this! My maid quit, or actually, just disappeared without a day's notice. Anyone who depends on a maid for the smooth functioning of their life knows what tragedy this is. I'm picking up the pieces now, and not having much fun doing it. Oh well, mamma said there'd be days like this, I guess.

So much joy!

Vir has learnt something so amazing. If I hold my arms out for him when he's with someone else, he reaches out to me to come to me! All by himself and so cutely too - with both his little arms stretching out towards me! And if someone else holds tries this when he's with me, he just turns away and refuses to go. (You see, I have taught him well.)

I cannot even believe that this simple gesture can make me as happy as it does. Sigh.

Plonk

So this update is just for the record. It's not a fun one. Vir got sick for the first time the day after we came back from Guwahati. On the 7th of Aug. Stomach infection. Lots of poop and visits and calls to the doc, pulled down Vir with big eyes, thin neck, and no smile. You see what I mean about it not being fun. Luckily, he's all better now and hopefully getting fatter too.

By the way, I now know what moms are thinking when they're always complaining about how thin their little ones are. They just don't see things the way normal people do.

6 and a half months!

I missed the 6 month update because we were in Guwahati for Vir's anna prasanna (a ceremony to celebrate the first time he had rice). So much has been happening...I have loads of updates. I guess I'll cover everything eventually. Let's see...here are the things Vir can now do:

• Roll over both ways - from his back to his stomach and stomach to back - this means I can't leave him unattended for anything more than one second since he rolls all over the place.


• Look at the fan when I ask him where it is!! (This boy has genius written all over him!)


• Mock cough, just because he knows it makes us laugh.


• Sit in his high chair to eat his various meals - ranging from bananas (still his favorite) to khichdi (not the most popular choice yet).


• Forcefully let me know when he doesn't want to eat something by pursing his lips tightly, turning his head to one side and keeping it there till I give up.


• Set a goal, like a toy or anything else, that is lying anywhere on the bed and then do whatever it takes to get there - from rolling over and over, stretching, propelling himself on his knees, and if all else fails, screaming in frustration till someone hands it to him.


• Do push ups - or some strange version of them anyway...where he lifts himself up on his hands, toes, and head.


• Involve his knees in the push ups and use them to leap forward like a little frog.

All these developments have been tremendous fun to watch. He's so funny. We were thinking of buying a new TV earlier, but now we'll just put him up on the wall. And start charging people to watch.

I'm a little Tigger!

Food, sleep, and other life choices

It's been forever since I posted here. So much has been going on. Vir has started solids and been experimenting with different cuisines. Or, in his case, just a series or pureed fruits, cereals, and dals! He loves bananas and anything with bananas in it. He hates plain cereal. Wheat apple cereal has been better accepted. Dal has not. Today we tried pureed peaches - very successful. I don't understand how he likes that though - it tasted evil. He'll know what I mean when he tries the real thing instead of that horrible colored thing out of the Gerber jar!

I went back and forth a lot about whether to try off-the-shelf food or not. But, we have to go out of town soon, and I'd rather he tries out some ready made options now, so he can digest stuff in an emergency. Also, in the spirit of making him tough and ready for the world, I'd like to try out a bunch of different things so his stomach doesn't learn to become too sensitive.

If only I could teach him to have formula though. He HATES the stuff. Rejects it completely from a mile away. I tried it in a bottle, a spoon, a glass, his sipper, my finger - everything. The response I get each time is a violent flinging of his whole self in a random direction away from the source of the formula. Sigh. You win some you lose some, I guess. This one, I have definitely lost.

The other big thing that has happened is that I have started working again. I'm working from home for a few hours a day, which is really nice for my sanity. It also means I'm having to mould Vir's routine to my new one - quite a task, that. So far, the going has been decent with a few hiccups. His morning wake-up time, for instance, is suddenly much earlier than I would like. Just when you think something is carved in stone, he breaks the stone.

What else - I bought him a little kurta pyjama from Fab India to wear at Vijay's brother's wedding. It's too big, but luckily, Fab India stuff shrinks. He will look so cute in that...can't wait to see him and put up pictures here. I love shopping for him. In fact, I can't remember the last time I browsed through a grown up clothes store for stuff for me.

Alright - more later. This is all I have time for now. I really hope I can post his 6-month update in time. I may not have internet access. I will be living like the other half. Plonk.

5 Months!

At this rate, I'll be writing the 12-month update before I know it! Here we go with th 5-month list of achievements:

• He can now eat solids!!! So far, he has tasted cerelac and bananas


• Determine and communicate, very effectively, that he hates cerelac and loves bananas


• Drink water from a glass


• Stay on his stomach for 15-20 minutes, and know when to rest his head at regular intervals in between


• Bear weight on his legs and "stand" when being supported under his shoulders


• Laugh loudly and enjoy himself when he's being swung in the air and complain when the fun stops


• Lift his butt in the air when lying on his tummy and try to propel himself forward, mostly unsuccessfully


• Communicate in many, many tones of voice, including a low sing-song tone that he uses when he's totally contented with the way life is working out


• Poop in a baby potty - has only done this once but gives me hope that he's on his way to poopy independence


• Say mama (see below!)

Drinks of more than one kind

Another first - Vir had water for the first time ever yesterday - the 25th of June. I gave it to him in his glass. He seemed to like it, although, as expected, most of it just spilled and drenched his clothes. He kept wanting to bite the edge of the glass. Anything and everything goes into his mouth these days - from the corner of a cushion, to the corner of my laptop! Except of course his cerelac, which he hasn't really taken a liking to. Today was hilarious - he just pursed his lips tight as can be and refused to let the spoon of cerelac get into his mouth even a little bit! When I tried a little harder, he just made a ptttthhhh shoud making the cerelac fly all over him and me! I can see fun times ahead trying to feed him.

Meanwhile, Vir also visited a pub sort of place for the first time yesterday. I know how that sounds but it wasn't so bad! A few friends from work were getting together to celebrate a happy occasion and the only way I could go was to take him along with me. We were the only ones there since it was 7 in the evening. So it wasn't noisy or smoky - just a nice, relaxed place where we were all together. Vir loved it. He sat in his car seat, which I had perched on the couch, and basked in the compliments my friends were pouring on him! He's so well behaved any time I take him out - I hope he stays that way and my luck doesn't run out on that one since I love being able to take him with me wherever I go.

Moving on to bigger things

Vir had his first cereal on the 23rd of this month! It was SO exciting to be able to give him something solid, or at least semi-solid for the first time. Well, I guess I had cheated a little once, a couple of weeks ago, and given him a tiny bit of mashed banana, but let's ignore that. This was his first legal helping of anything other than milk. It was pretty hilarious too. I took a really long time to prepare the cereal, trying to get it just right. Vijay switched on his video camera as I tried to get Vir excited about the upcoming new experience and sat him down on my lap. Baggdu realized something important was about to happen and arose from his usual state of slumber. Finally, I put a small amount of Cerelac on a spoon and brought it gingerly to his lips to give him the slightest taste. Before I knew it, Vir had grabbed the spoon and lunged at it with his mouth open and shoved the entire thing in his mouth.He realized soon enough that this was far from what he had expected, made a disgusted face, and emitted the entire thing from his mouth. This process was repeated a few times and thus ended his first solid meal. It was a lot of fun. He is now allowed to sample from quite a long menu - daal, cerelac, banana, papaya, sooji, soup, stewed apple, and other stuff along these lines. The only downside I can see is that his poop is now much more offensive than the non smelly stuff I've gotten used to in the last almost 5 months. He doesn't seem to think that's a big deal. In fact, sometimes I think he poops just so he can see the expression on my face.

Mataji and Pitaji

Another huge development to report! Vir said mama!!! He doesn't know what it means yet - he can just say the "m" sound and that, combined with his crying sound, sometimes makes mama. Or mamamama. But I only focus on the first two times he says it. Mama. I think that's one of the best sounds in the world coming from him!

Vijay has been trying to figure out, since before Vir was born, what he wants to be called by his kid. There are so many choices - there's Teta, which is what he calls his dad. But, really, there can be only one teta, so that just sounds weird when referring to Vijay. Then there's Deota, which is the Assamese word for father. He thinks it's nice but a little too high and mighty. Then there's papa, which is in the running, but a little behind for some reason. I think Vijay's not used to it and doesn't like it much. Other options are Dad, daddy, pop, pater, father, deta, and pitaji. When you think about it, it's quite a challenge to pick the one thing you want to be called by the people you're going to end up loving the most and thinking about almost all the time. He needs to decide quickly though; time is running out - Vir will be talking soon at the rate he's going!

Four Months!

Here we are, at the 4 month mark. I cannot believe how time is flying. Here's the list of things he can now do:

• Reach out for things held out in front of him, or even to his side and get it right almost always


• Put everything possible in his mouth


• Laugh


• Turn over on his stomach and stay that way for at least 2-3 minutes at a time


• Laugh when I mock swing him in the air and express dissatisfaction when I stop


• Hold up his head really well and even turn fully to look another way when on someone's shoulder


• Hold entire conversations in gurgle speak


• Turn in the direction of sound


• Recognize my voice, I think

Can you believe it?

First train journey

On the 29th of May, 2007! I was so nervous that he'd be cranky and noisy and painful. But he was an angel! I took his car seat and stuck it in the train seat, so he was on familiar ground. That, plus the fact that it was morning sleepy time, plus the rocking of the train did the magic. He slept almost all the way through except for one little meal and 20 minutes of playing. So, not the most educational experience, but a very peaceful one. I have my fingers crossed that the way back will be equally easy.

Dr. Seuss is my friend

I had a really great trip to the bookstore the other day, ostensibly to buy books for Vir but really, I thought they would be more for me because he's so young for books. I got that one wrong! He LOVES them. I should have discovered Dr. Seuss as a kid, but he's as much fun for adults - so it's so much fun reading his books out to Vir. Shroopie and Ajesh have discovered Dr. Seuss too and now also keep buying books - also "ostensibly" for Vir!! I can't blame them. Who can resist a book that reads:

You can think up some birds
That's what you can do
You can think about yellow
Or think about blue

You can think about red
You can think about pink
You can think up a horse
Oh, the THINKS you can think!

Oh think thinks you can think up
If only you try
If you try, you can think up
A guff going by!

Vir has a great time with the colors and the rythm in all of Dr. Seuss' books. And I have a wonderful time watching him respond the way he does. I know reading time will always be my favorite! I hope he always loves it the way he does now.

I can say Koka

Vir met his grandfather again. Put up a really good show too. Though he can't say 'koka' (the assamese word for granddad) yet, I think he really wants to:-) It was nice to see them spend time together. I got some great pictures. Teta says he's lucky to have seen his grandson in his lifetime. I think it's the other way round. Vir is very, very lucky to have had all his grandparents waiting right outside the operation theater where he was born. Right after he met me, he met his dad, nani, nana, aita, and koka. Who can beat that?!

The other big, no - huge - thing that happened since I last posted - Vir can now roll over on to his tummy all by himself! (ta-daaah!) That happened on the 8th of May for the first time, and now it's almost a daily thing. I'd like to say he loves to do it, but it's really more of an accident most of the time when he's turning his head in all directions in the hope of finding some milk. He actually hates it since he gets his arm stuck under his tummy when he rolls over and doesn't know what to do about it except lie there with a really sad expression on his face till I yank his arm out and roll him back over. I'm worried that his arm and chest muscles won't be strong enough if he doesn't spend enough time on his tummy. Teta says I'm expecting too much out of a three month old. That may be true, I suspect. Anyway, will update this space as more happens!

How could you do this to me?!

I tried to give Vir a bottle of Lactogen today since I think he should get used to a bottle as well as different kind of milk. He was so shocked and betrayed and cried bloody murder for at least 30 minutes with this horrible expression on his face! After 40 minutes of coaxing on my part and crying on his, he managed to drink one ounce. Oh well, I guess you can call that something.

Three Months!

Yay! Vir is three months today. Q1 of his life is officially over. Planning for Q2 has begun. He's super friendly now, and is loads of fun. Let's see...he can now do the following:

• Recognize me, and I think, recognize Vijay


• Give Vijay a huge smile and lots of gurgling when he gets back from work


• Wake up happy in the morning and gurgle at me for a bit


• Squeal in delight


• Express himself in at least 20 different tones of voice


• Concentrate on small objects


• Express his preference for sitting propped up on my lap rather than lying down so he can see things the right way up


• Gather up the front of his shirt and stuff it in his mouth


• Grab and object if you place it on his chest and take it to his mouth


• Suck either one or both of his hands for a really long time!

So, lot's of progress, as you can see:-). I wonder what this list will have on it next month!

Asleep on my tummy

Vir has been asleep on my tummy for the past two hours! Even now, I'm typing with one finger stretched out to somehow reach the keyboard without waking him up. It's so cute - I can feel him breathing on my tummy. Hard to imagine this little guy was inside this same tummy not even three months ago!

What will he be like?

What will he be like? Will he be reserved like his father, or a chatterbox like me? Will he like sports? What sort of music will he like? Will he have many friends? Will they be more girls or boys? What subjects will he like in school? Will he be good at math? Will he like to read? What sorts of books will interest him? What games? Will he have a sweet tooth? Will he be brave or scare easily? What will make him happy? What will make him sad? What will he talk about with me? And with Vijay? What will fascinate him? What will thrill him? There's so much inside that little head of his just waiting to unfold. I'm thrilled to be on this journey with him.

Back in Gurgaon

It's been almost two weeks since we returned to Gurgaon. Prety crazy hectic, since this is the first time I was left all alone with Vir! I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to handle everything, and I almost didn't...but it all worked out I guess. Now, I have somewhat of a routine with him and all the stuff that needs to get done around the house. I'm becoming quite the homemaker and mother - two roles I had never imagined for myself.

Vir is awesome - more and more so everyday. He is so much more talkative and alert now than even two weeks ago. My mom came two days ago to visit and help me since Vijay is out of town. She says he has changed a lot. He is also balder now than he was. I wonder if I should be worried about him losing hair. They say it's pretty normal but his head is quite patchy now. I don't have any new pictures, unfortunately, since my camera has decided to die on me. I do have some on my phone, so I guess I'll put those up here soon. Not as great, quality wise, but who cares when your subject is so cute!

Vir held my finger, voluntarily, for the first time a couple of days ago - on the 20th of April to be precise! It was so wonderful to know that he actually wanted to hold my hand. Well, maybe I carried that too far. He just wanted to hold "a" finger that happened to be dangling nearby. Pretty special nevertheless!!

Everything he can get hold of these days goes straight into his mouth - his hands, his clothes, his blanket, his toys, my hands! I got a picture of him trying to eat a ball yesterday.

I really have to post here more often so I don't lose track of everything. Now that I have my act together a little bit, I'll try!

2 Months!

Vir completed 2 months yesterday. This is probably the fastest growth he is ever going to have...so many new things in just two months. Let's see...he can now do the following:

• Focus on a face, or his toys - even the small ones


• Follow movement and turn his head accordingly from one side to another, though not always all the way through


• Smile wide


• Say "oooo," "aaaa," and "aggggooo"


• Squeal in delight - sometimes


• Laugh a little - sometimes


• Raise his voice when he feels ignored or generally wants to complain


• Raise his head about 60 degrees when he's on his tummy


• Turn to his side himself when laid on his back


• Push his legs against a surface and move himself forward


• Recognize sound (like his favorite song!)


• Recognize when I pick him up (I think)

So that's a tonne of new stuff:-) I'm so proud of him.

Good day

My masi and her husband and kids are over in Dehradun from Germany. They're the most awesome kids in the world - I think they're my favorite kids ever because of how affectionate and well behaved and genuine they are. Anyway, we went over to visit them - they were completely fascinated by Vir, which is a little surprising since they're both teenage boys. Vir put up quite a show for them. Instead of sleeping the whole time, which is what he normally does when we go anywhere, he was awake the entire time getting passed around willingly from one lanky teenage lap to another and talking away happily to all of them. He's lucky to have all this attention and love from so many people in the family. I was like a typical mom the whole time - beaming away because people were admiring my son!

Almost two months!

Vir will be 2 months old in a couple of days. What a two months it's been...I cannot remember my life before him, and at the same time, I have no idea where these two months have gone. After the neverending first couple of weeks with every nap and every meal the biggest pain in the world, we have now found something of a routine. I'm at my mom and dad's house - cannot imagine how I would have done this without mom. She's been indispensable - I guess she always has been. She is so much in love with Vir, I don't know how to get myself to take him away to Gurgaon.

So anyway, about the routine...it's fairly flexible, but looks roughly like this:

7:00 - 8:00 am - wake up, cry for milk, have milk, and sleep again
8:00 - 9:00 am - stretch arms and legs and try to open eyes for about an hour or so
9:00 - 9:30 am - wake up, cry for milk, have milk, sleep again
9:30 - 10:30 am - wake up and get diaper change, then play with nani
10:30 - 11:30 am - have milk, play with nana when he's back from his golf game
11:30 am - 1:00 pm - have milk, get an awesome massage from nani, have a bath, have milk, and sleep
1:00 - 4:00 pm - sleep (but wake up for the exact 15 minutes at around 2 that mum is having lunch)
4:00 - 7:00 pm - wake up and play
7:00 - 8:00 pm - another short nap
8:00 pm - 2:00 am - play, sleep, cry, play, cry, eat, play, cry
2:00 - 7:00 am - sleep, wake up, sleep

So, fairly packed daily agenda as you can see. This means I'm always on call - so far it's mostly just to feed him since his nana and nani are more than happy to constantly play with him, or try to get him to sleep, or change him, or take him for a walk. I love doing all of these things as well. Being a mom is really growing on me. I really didn't imagine how much this little thing would mean to me from day 1. I do hope I can chronicle this time well...I know it will never come back. So, I'm writing (almost regularly) a daily diary for Vir and now this, for me.

Introducing Vir Gogoi!

That's Vir! Born on 31st Jan 2007 at 12:04 am.

...And that's us - mum and dad. This picture was taken in February 2005.

The many moods of Vir (first two months)