Sunday, May 29, 2011

Family Holiday: Mogambo Strikes Goa

I've been away from this blog for too long as always, but for a happy reason. The four of us actually managed a family holiday to Goa! We got off to a not so great start with a four hour flight delay which led Vir to announce that he wanted to abandon the whole Goa trip and just go home and sleep.

We weren't to be beaten however, and finally made it to our hotel at almost 3:00 a.m with the kids wide awake and ready to explore! Vijay and I decided we couldn't get the kids to bed, so we might as well start drinking. That was a good idea. The rest of the trip was just one good idea after another. Long naps by the sea, hours of reading while the kids watched TV or ran around with their buckets and spades, sitting at the beach and watching the kids experience the absolute joy of playing with sand and limitless amounts of water with no parental limits, leisurely swims with more than occasional trips to the pool bar...sigh. Holidays are just amazing, aren't they?

Both the kids had a lot of fun, but I think Vir more so than Tara. For some reason, though Tara seemed quite excited and was screaming Goaaaaaaa Goaaaaa at everyone three days before we were to leave, a part of her little toddler brain doesn't like change too much. Her way of protesting was to just stop eating. And for my independent little foodie, that's saying something. I couldn't understand why nothing on those elaborate hotel buffets would tempt her and why all her favorites were just being thrown around instead of munched. Now that we're back and she's eating, I realize it was just the change. But while we were there, I think it was her niggling hunger that she couldn't quite identify that made her madder than ever at the world for not doing EXACTLY WHAT she wanted EXACTLY WHEN she wanted it. If you were one of the guests at our hotel last week, you'll never forget the noise that scary toddler made every mealtime. I still get a little weak kneed thinking about it. One of the attendants at the restaurant named her DND. "You can look at her and you can admire her from a distance but you better not mess with her!" A part of me is quite happy that she is good at creating boundaries and letting people know exactly what she'll allow. Right now at the angelic and cheruby age of 2 (I'm taking refuge in sarcasm), those boundaries are very, very clear. Especially to her. And new boundaries are being formed literally as I type. This essentially means that you never know when you're crossing some sort of line with her and might start off a screaming fit complete with tears and snotty nose just because you helped her take off a sandal she wanted to manage herself or because you put a spoon of dal on her rice or because you gave her water in the WRONG WRONG WRONG bottle.

Well meaning strangers have been coming up to me to tell me that this is just a phase and it too shall pass. Vijay and I are sometimes dealing with her bravely and sometimes not. We're often seen sitting and watching another tantrum play out with a dazed and numbed-by-the-pain sort of expression. Sometimes, we deal with it by just laughing it off...the crazed and semi-hysterical laughter, not the ha-ha-this-is-fun laughter. Mostly, we just do everything we can to keep our wits about us and know exactly how she wants life to be so we can tread around the tantrums and not get sucked into them. I have no idea how to sustain our mine field treading for the whole year though...she just turned two...we've only hit the T of the terrible twos yet!

What gets us by of course is that when she's not mad at the world, she's just about the cutest little thing you ever saw. She has an irresistible smile which makes her eyes and nose just scrunch up and disappear and its the doses of that face and that little voice saying "lovelu so much mammmmi" that tell us that our little queen bee is just a little baby after all!

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Growing up too fast!

My little Tara turned two this week. Cliche'd as it sounds, I just cannot believe how quickly this has happened. She was just born. She was a tiny, tiny thing being brought to me by the doctor as my heart was filled with sunshine (another cliche but equally true) that she was born a girl and I was now a daughter's mom! I don't know how to explain why this meant so much to me. Of course I would have loved a boy as much, but having her meant so many things that I so wanted. I wanted Vir to have a sister and her to have a brother like Vir. I wanted Vijay to know the joy of loving his little girl. I wanted a girl to talk to in a house full of boys. I wanted another bond like the one I share with my mom. I wanted a little doll to dress up (yes, yes I'm very shallow and laden with gender stereotypes). I wanted to justify shopping for insane amounts of clips and ribbons and pink junk. Basically, I wanted it all. And I have her to thank for making it happen. She is totally holding up her end of the bargain, giving us joy and entertainment and love all packaged up in the pink that I'll never tire of buying for her.

Before Tara came, I used to wonder how it was possible for me to love someone else the way I loved Vir. I was honestly worried that I wouldn't be able to do this twice and the second one would somehow feel less loved. I'm still amazed by how this problem went away the second she entered the world. As long as she doesn't do a post count on this blog and discover how little I end up writing about her, I think she'll feel very loved because I now know it's silly to worry about how to love your kid. You just do and that's that. Of course, a part of me knows that Tara is quite capable of conducting a post count and coming at me with the stats as soon as she can power up a computer. So, I'll be writing furiously over the next few weeks and all my writing will feature the junior most Gogoi as the protagonist. Baby Mogambo, as we have taken to calling her (only partially affectionately, I'm afraid), will only be happy when enough has been said about her and her prettiness and the prettiness of her hair, eyes, nose, clothes, shoes, and everything else to do with her. Luckily for me, I have a lot of writing material and new stuff is being developed everyday, thanks to the drama queen who just turned two.

Happy Birthday Taru. Live happy.