Plonk

Mashui is leaving for a month (or maybe forever) and I'm stuck because now I have no one to watch Vir while I work. I could go away to Dehradun where my parents will be happy to watch him, but that's not a long term solution. What if Mashui doesn't come back? Eventually, I suspect, my parents will kick me out, though they'll keep Vir. Or I could find another maid, but somehow, that's not very promising. So, Vijay and I have looked at a couple of day cares where we can send him for about 4 hours or so a day. If we juggle our schedules well enough, it'll only have to be 4 hours. I'll still have some work time left after he's back from day care, which I will cover in the evenings. This whole thing is so stressful because the thought of leaving him away in some "place" is not a happy one. I just want to try it out though - make an honest effort to balance the many parts of my life. If it doesn't work out, I'll have to try something else, because Vir will always be a priority. Something tells me I'm much more bothered about this than he will be...he's been pretty good at adapting to new situations so far. And a situation with lots of other kids, toys, and people willing to play with him all the time has got to be agood one!

We're taking him today for an hour to see how he reacts. Our fingers are crossed and I admit, hearts a little heavy. No fair...I want parenthood to be easy.

Anyone need an interpreter?

This kid is either going to be super cool and multilingual, or completely confused. I talk to him in either English or Hindi. Vijay talks to him in Assamese. Mashui talks to him in Mizo. All three of us talk to him a lot. I'm waiting for him to start talking to see what mix of languages spews forth.

Yesterday, he learnt his first Mizo word - chibai, which means hello. It's the cutest thing...he reaches out his hand extremely professionally for you to shake if you say "Vir, chibai!" And he has also finally figured out how to wave bye, which in his case is a wide flailing of the arm from side to side, in case you're not getting the point - B...Y...E...E...E!

The next thing on the cards, which I think he has almost learnt but not quite is a high five. Yikes, I really am one of those moms who expects too much out of a little one, and then will show off to bored friends all the new things he can do. I should be ashamed of myself.

Headbanger in the house

We should have seen this coming! Vir has always responded really well to music. When he was less than a month old, he had a clear preference for two songs out of the list on my cell phone - Angel Eyes by Raghvan or Rahul something (I may have the name wrong, but I thank him from the bottom of my heart for the number of times he has helped calm a crazy, colicky monster) and Build Me Up, Buttercup from the movie, There's Something About Mary. No other song would do. These two were the answer to everything - make him sleep, calm him down, make him have his milk, distract him during his shots... you name it. Everyone in the family can now sing these two songs in their sleep.

I guess this was the beginning of the latest new thing in his life - dancing! He's not selective about his music anymore. Anything will do - from the infuriating Fisher Price lady who carries on endlessly about itsy bitsy spiders, to music in TV ads and of course, to pop, rock, hip hop, jazz, indipop, trance, and everything in between. He started off with a little rocking of his head in response to any rhythm and has now expanded his dance steps to include full scale headbanging, butt shaking, random arm swaying, and also the only dance "step" his mother knows - shifting his weight from one leg to the other and swaying along! Of course, the type of dance doesn't have to match to the type of music resulting in super funny combinations, such as the latest headbanging to Tracy Chapman's Fast Car. He's also probably the only one ever to think that headbanging and Leonard Cohen go well together. Watching him do it though - they really do!

I don't know if he just has music in his blood, or if all babies do it - just that it never fails to make me laugh!

Some things Vir has taught me so far...

I've been thinking back over the past year and a half. In no particular order, here is what I've learnt ever since Vir came into my life:

1. You don't always get a warning - life changes forever just like that.
2. Change is confusing, but might turn out to be a good thing, if you just give it some time.
3. You'd never have thought it, but you can actually look forward to getting fat!
4. It is possible to spend hours, days, and even months day dreaming.
5. It's possible to go shopping and not even be tempted to get something for yourself.
6. Apetites are relative.
7. No matter what you tell yourself, you cannot be prepared for labor.
8. It really is possible to go through the most excrutiating pain imaginable and then forget how it felt and wonder what all the fuss is about.
9. It's okay to blame your husband (but only because he's super nice about being blamed.)
10. It's not like the movies. You don't have to cry with joy the first time you see your baby. But at some point, maybe even months later, you will.
11. Bringing up a baby is NOT AT ALL like bringing up a dog.
12. Poop can actually shoot in projectiles and hit targets across the room.
13. Baby wipes are a gift from God.
14. Someone else's pooping schedule can become the focus of your whole day. And it's normal to wonder why everyone else doesn't care.
15. You can survive on 1/10th of the sleep you're used to.
16. Extreme happiness can be delivered in the form of the teeny tiny smile from a 6-week old baby. Because you know it's his first smile ever, and that it's for you.
17. Baby smiles never get old.
18. You go through the first 20-30 odd years of your life, before you've had a baby, without a clue of how the other half lives. Then, you get hit with a truck with the words "welcome to the other side" written across the front bumper.
19. You can discuss every minute detail of your kid's day from when he woke up to what he ate to when he slept, pooped, smiled, moved an arm, turned a head, with anyone who's willing to listen.
20. Most people aren't willing to listen. Watch for a glaze over the eyes and you'll know it's time to shut up.
21. There is magic in the word "mama" when it's referring to you.
22. Baby rhymes and songs are endlessly irritating.
23. Dr. Seuss really knew his shit.
24. A cow says moo.
25. Whether you want to or not, if you're a mom, you mean the world to someone, and you just have to live up to the expectation.
26. There's big money to be made in the baby product industry.

This really was no particular order, and all my wisdom is tiring me. I'll be back later to update this list.

A cow says boo

Me: Vir, can you give me a kissie?
Vir: Ptchaah!

Me: Vir, a cow says...?
Vir: Boooo (I know it's mooo, but it always comes out booo, mommy).

This is obviously hugely entertaining for me, and I've never been good at knowing where to stop. So, 1000 times later.

Me: Vir, a cow says...?
Vir: Ptchaah, booooo (now leave me the hell alone, woman!)

10 months!

Here we are, just two months short of the big 1 year mark. It's been a big month in many ways. Here goes:

• Vir can now (are you ready for this...?!) stand on his own! The record time is to the count of 18. I don't think this is the same as 18 seconds, because his nani was the one doing the counting, and she won't admit it, but she counted really fast! In any case, the point is that he can stand, and it's great, and he knows it, and he does it every waking moment.
• He has learnt to give "huggies" to his many very-hungry-for-endless-huggies recipients. It's wonderfully cute - if you ask him for a hug, he gets a totally shy smile on his face, looks down, and launches himself at you with his arms wide open. It can make your day and all it's crap completely worth it - one of those huggies.
• As of this morning, he has also learnt to kiss. Don't think he has figured out the word yet, but he will, if he chooses to, copy your little "wptchaah" sound and smile shyly at you. I got so excited when he did this for the first time, because I've been trying to teach him this for a month...I squealed loudly and scared him and made him cry. Maybe that's why he's not doing it too often.
• The biggest thing this month is that he has demonstrated his ability to manage without me. I was out of town for 4 days, and he spent his time entertaining my parents, who came down to look after him. I missed him terribly - much, much more than I had imagined I would. He missed me too - especially the first night - he kept looking around for me and towards the door thinking I'll show up. But he got used to the situation, I think, or at least sort of resigned himself to it and was perfect the remaining days. One of the happiest memories of my life was his reaction when I got back and met him. I can't quite describe it but perhaps if you think of the thing that makes you think that nothing can ever go wrong because it's just so right, you'll know what I'm talking about. He has me wrapped around his little finger, that one.
• Finally, the list of things and people that he can recognize is fast expanding. From fan and Baggdu, it has now grown to include papa, nana, nani, and Mashui didi. Sadly, it does not include mamma yet. He keeps saying it, but looks quite blank when you ask him where mamma is.

Each month, when I write this list, I am re-amazed at what a miracle this whole thing is and how great it is to see him unfold right in front of us and become his own little person. Now that I've weaned him off completely, this little person is truly ready to get on his own road and be on his way with all of us cheering him on, always.