Some things on my fun list

Hi. My name is Vir and I spend all day in the pursuit of fun and happiness. The things I think are fun are generally in inverse proportion to the things that are allowed by my mother who seems to have nothing more productive to do than to watch me like a hawk and stop me from doing my thing. Seriously, woman, get a real job! I've put together a list of things that I like to do. Read it and tell me you think they're not fun. That'll show her.

• Taking my mom's lovely colored soap bars and plonking them into the toilet. I love the little splash and the sound that comes with it.
• Hunting down the bottle of toilet cleaner and plonking that in the toilet. That creates a bigger splash and is even more fun. It's almost always followed by a loud groaning sound from my mother too.
• Okay, I've only done this once, but putting my dad's new copy of The Economist into the toilet was fun too.
• Knocking over the stack of quilts in the bedroom, then running around the house covered in one of the quilts. It doesn't even hurt when I bang into a wall. Even more fun is covering Baggdu with one of the quilts and then jumping on top of him.
• Heck, even without the quilt, jumping on Baggdu when he's sleeping is just plain great.
• Pulling Baggdu's ears, tail, lower jaw, and other stuff. That guy is just amazing. So soft and pullable. Sometimes he knocks me around too...he can manage that just because he's so much heavier than I am, but he only does it to people he loves.
• Climbing on top of the wooden, mother of pearl inlaid, freshly polished coffee table and doing an imitation of my mom yelling, "Get down, get down!"
• Sharing my food with Baggdu. Nothing says I love you like taking licks of the same biscuit.
• Eating dirt from the pots in the balcony. Anyone who says that stuff isn't yummy is wrong.
• Throwing things off the table or bed while pretending I have nothing to do with it. Just to keep the appearance of ignorance and make things more realistic, I sometimes follow this up with a loud exclamation such as "Oh....gir gayaa!"
• Disconnecting the cable box from the TV when my folks are watching. Hee hee hoohoooo!
• Throwing the couch cushions on the floor and then jumping on them.
• Spitting. When you're bored, try to make little puddles of spit (preferably on a wooden, mother of pearl inlaid, freshly polished coffee table) and then use your fingers to draw little spit shapes.

Well?