Questions from a three year old

"Mamma...America mein curtains kyun nahin hote? Blinds kyun hote hain?"

"Papa...fighter plane mein se smoke kyun aati hai? Normal plane se kyun
nahin aati?"

"Mamma...jab main table hilata hun, toh uske upar wala lamp kyun hilta
hai?"

It's amazing the details he observes now. Thank God for the internet. Next time he asks me something I don't know, I'll pretend to be too busy on my computer to answer immediately, frantically pull up Wikipedia, then turn around and knowingly explain the working of aeroplanes or rockets or whatever else his little brain wants to know, thereby maintaining my 'mamma-knows-everything-I-must-always-listen-to-mamma-reputation.'

I can't believe I think this way though - trying to impress my own silly little son through pretend Wikipedia induced knowledge. I bet Wikipedia can't cure such madness. For now though, I'll be happy if it can tell me why there are blinds in America instead of curtains.

Let's see. Over the last month, a million things have happened.

1. The Gogoi family unit of Vijay, me, Vir and Tara has moved from Gurgaon to New Jersey. Sans Baggdu. (Plonk. Baggdu, if you happen to log on to this site, we miss you all the time.)

2. Vir has somehow wrapped his head around the geographical distance between nana nani's house, which he calls Dehradun, Vatika City, and America. He's fuzzy on the details, but he knows that we're now far away.

3. Vir has started school here! He's out of the house from morning to evening, which is a first for him and for us. Let's just say it's been very interesting. He is more or less settled in but is hanging on to some things to assert his independence and show that he can make choices too. For example, he chooses not to eat at school. Or go to the bathroom at school. I feel terrible about this, but also know that he's happy when he's there and he enjoys his new friends and teachers.

4. My little Haryanvi is picking up spoken English. It's hilarious. He now says things like, "I take this car home. Tara so happy. My parents so happy." And "Look at me. I'm all wet." And "This is break." We love it and can't get enough.

5. Tara has no idea that things have changed so much. But that's because she's been really busy practicing her new skills. She can now point to her tummy, baaah like a tiger (of course a tiger says baaah - that's all you can hear at the zoo if you go), throw flying kisses like a cheap roadside romeo, clap when she's happy with herself, and sway from side to side to show she's having fun. She's also crawling like a pro and has covered every inch of our new apartment by now. Especially every inch of the bathroom, which she loves. She will literally come running from anywhere as soon as she hears the bathroom door open. I don't know what both the kids like about loos in general. In her case, I suspect it's her recent discovery of the joys of toilet paper that drives her. I found her halfway through a gleeful unrolling of a fresh roll yesterday. She's even reminded Vir how much fun this used to be, and he's now rewound to when he was less than 2 and used to do this! Needless to say, we spend a lot of time rolling up unrolled rolls of toilet paper.

6. Tara has also discovered her love for cabinets, the diswasher, and the refrigerator. So, when we're not rolling up toilet paper, we're pulling her out of cabinets, or getting her unstuck from the dishwasher racks.

Okay, so that's not really a million things. It's only 6 when you write it down. But it's made up of a million smiles and laughs at the antics of the little brats, a million doubts and uncertainties about whether we're doing the right things for them, especially with this big move and all, and a million moments of just being together and happy. So you see, a million things have happened! I will try to remember some specifics and add to this list. Or just start from a million and one now that I've started updating this blog again:0)

On a roll!

My mom's cleaning lady, Leela, had no idea what she was starting when she taught Tara the "itne bade ho jaao" trick (see below). Addicted to the attention and non stop encore requests that her performances get her, Tara has increased her repertoire to include several new and adorable acts. Give her just a little signal that you're interested and she'll perform them all for you quite willingly. The untiring little trooper does not care how many times you have presented your request before. She understands your need for cuteness and she knows how to deliver. So the opening act is "itne bade ho jaao" and is followed up with a gleeful clapping of the hands, a look at the fan with big rounded eyes and a big "o" of a mouth that tries to say fan but manages "ppppppfffffffaaaa," and then a wave goodbye. Sometimes, she'll even pick up the phone and put it to her ear when you say hello. No surprises then that she has super TRP ratings as of now and is topping the charts here at the grandparents' house!

It's amazing, isn't it? The rest of us can clap and say "ppppfffffaaaa" till the cows come home and noone will care. But this little one is running full houses on her act and its her 3rd week running. I'm pretty sure she'll keep adding to her act and I'll be sure to report on her continuing success with the admiring public:-).

The Entertainer!

Tara has learnt her first trick! And what a super cute one too! Look:

Us: "Tara...kitne bade ho jaao?"

Tara: Itnaaaaaaay

Lessons from Disney

Vir: Mamma pata hai...Micky Mouse apna sara kaam khud karta hai...
Me: Really?!
Vir: Aur uski mamma - Minnie Mouse - usko help karti hai.

Lots happening

So there's a lot going on in our little world right now and I have to say the little ones are dealing with the change really well. We're all making a big move all the way from Gurgaon to the US for about a year...but we're doing it in bits and pieces. Which means that while Vijay is already there trying to set things up, the tots and I are with my parents enjoying blissful blissful blissful pampering that, at least once you're married and have kids, can only happen when you go back home. Vir has a vague understanding of what's going on and will tell you very confidently that he's going to America in a plane. Of course, he's very excited about the plane journey (his mom on the other hand is dreading it immensely). But he's much more excited about the cab ride to the airport which MUST be in an Indigo Manza in Style as he puts it. (I didn't even know there is such a car and actually corrected him the first time he said it, only to feel quite silly when I saw the ad on the TV later).

Meanwhile, he's going to a new school while we're with my parents. He doesn't like it as much as his school in Gurgaon. I'm not surprised since I think this particular school takes itself a little too seriously, as do a lot of schools in Dehradun. My little three year old comes home from school with a notebook and homework!! I didn't even realize he was getting homework till I got a complaint from his teacher that he wasn't completing his work. (Oops...first homework ever goes unnoticed and not done. Bad bad bad.) He's also started saying things like, "finger on your lips" and "ma'am" which sounds incredibly cute coming from him! All in all, I'm really happy he's going. I guess some discipline won't hurt him of all people.

Tara, of course, is taking everything beautifully in her stride. She normally doesn't let little details like change of location and uncertainty about the future bother her as long as the really important stuff like food and unending attention is taken care of. With the doting gramps around, neither of these things is a problem. My mom absolutely loves to feed Tara bits and pieces of everything we eat, and my dad spends all his time playing with her, taking her for walks, and generally being silly for her entertainment. She is growing wonderfully too and on her way to meeting several new milestones...crawling and standing being the latest ones. She's not an expert at these right now, but is getting lots of practice and will be there soon.

And as for me, I'm relaxing and exercising and indulging myself with long luxurious baths. The aim is to store up on relaxation now so I can draw on these memories when I'm in snowed in into a small apartment in a new place and the kids are driving me up the wall. Cute images of the kids in my parents' arms and myself soaking my feet in warm, fizzy water will certainly come in handy when I'm asking myself, not for the first time, why this is all happening to me! Seriously though, I'm looking forward to the change from Gurgaon - I think it will be refreshing for all of us, and I look forward to hearing the twang that will most certainly develop in Vir's accent, which is so far pure Haryanvi.

For now, I'm just praying I survive the long flight with the two of them! I'll be sure to update if I manage that:-)

Happy Birthday!

In the last three years: I have been the happiest that I could be. I have been the most frustrated that I think I'll ever be. I've looked upon my sleeping little baby and thought a better child was never born. I've been defeated by one of his terrible tantrums and wondered what I ever did to deserve this devil. I've been touched to tears by his hugs and his i-love-you-mammas. I've been driven to tears by his screaming. I've been desperate to break free of his constant dependence on me. I've been gratified by the same dependence that I want to break. I've stared at his sleeping face dreaming dreams for what he will be. I've known that he'll be what he'll be and my role is not to make anything of him but to be there no matter what. I've held his clingy little hand on his first day of school and then left his hand as he settled in and went running through the gates everyday. I've comforted him a hundred times through a hundred crises from losing a toy to falling off the bed to getting a blood test to not getting to wear his favorite sweater. I've caused him to cry a hundred times by being the root of several of his crises. I've just known what's right for him in some cases. In others, I've stressed and struggled over the smallest decisions wondering if the choices I make will shape him forever. I've been through worry, happiness, sadness, warmth, frustration, despair, panic, hysterical laughter, hysterical sobbing, love, annoyance, and all sorts of other emotionally draining opposites sometimes all in one day.

I had no clue what I was in for when the doctor told me to open my eyes and say hello to my son three years ago. In fact, I thought I had been through the most difficult phase and things would just sort of flow along now that labor and delivery was over. After all, that was the last chapter in all my pregnancy books! Blissfully ignorant silly new mom, laughed my new son...we have loads of adventures to go through together...lots of chapters that your pregnancy books didn't know to write. Of course, even now, I'm just a blissfully ignorant silly mom to a three year old thinking we've been through a lot already but this time, I think I have a hint of things to come. With his little sister in tow, I think they have many plans for how to add wrinkles to my face!