A different kind of milestone...

Over lunch today, Vir informed me that his teacher asked him to stand outside the classroom today because he was being naughty. This is a wholly new development, though not a very surprising one given the dramatic increase in mischief levels over the past few weeks. I have no explanation for it. He's 6. I guess that's an explanation for everything that happens this year. Last year, it was that he's 5. Next year, it will be that he's 7. I believe year 15 is something I can totally look forward to. Blank stares. Closed doors. Long hair. Strange friends. Weird music. And only one thing to comfort myself with - you guessed it - he's 15!

Back to the conversation this afternoon for now though. I asked him why it happened and got some sort of long winded story about how he and a friend not only didn't listen to ma'am when she wanted them to be quiet, they also joked about it and made fun of her.

Sigh. Vir, Vir, Vir. Vot am I to do with you?

It doesn't end here though. I told myself this is not worth overreacting to. There are many other daily disasters to which I routinely overreact. Here's my chance to be a cool mother who responds appropriately to a given situation. So, I continued eating my lunch for a bit before casually asking him how he felt about what had happened.

Huh? (How I felt about what?)

Well, you know - didn't you feel bad that your teacher sent you outside?

No, not really. I like outside. 

**

Vir, Vir, Vir. Vot am I to do with you?

Time well spent

I just spent the last 2 hours watching old videos of Vir and Tara. From a day before Vir was born, to his first sponge bath in the hospital which stressed him out so much that he had to gnaw at his fist till he was red in the face, to Tara's little tantrums and dog and cat imitations to Vir's heart to heart with me when we were in the US telling me he doesn't like America to his loving messages to his gramps to his teaching Tara to say new words...if there's ever a fire and I need to pick up one thing to save, it will be these videos! Well, right after the kids and the dog, of course. And considering the videos are on YouTube, I guess it won't really make sense to actually "carry" them out of a burning building, but you know what I mean.

What priceless moments...and watching them just made me realize how little they were and how little they still are. Sometimes, I find myself expecting too much from them. There are some things like cleaning up their toys and carrying their own bags home from the bus stop and clearing their plates off the table after dinner, which are all in the interest of creating good habits and discipline and other stuff and nonsense which I guess I can stand by. But, I do find myself expecting other things too - like understanding when I'm tired or busy and can't listen to them, or understanding why I can't drop everything to look for that lost toy, or understanding why piano class is more important than park time twice a week. How can that little nappy clad, red faced, tiny thing who just wants a fist to gnaw already be asked to deal with such things?

After I finished watching all the videos I had, I went to sneak a peek at the little devils and had to stop myself from waking them up just to see them smile.

Okay, I tried to wake them up, but very very little.

Now, I can't wait for the morning so I can tell them how much I love them. I'll try to remember that as I run around like a maniac trying to get them to the bus stop in time!

And just like that...

...it's 4 years later and my little one has started big school. I'd been dreaming of the day both of them would get on that bus together and head off to learn how to be big boys and girls, leaving me to enjoy my own big-girl-ness by getting my hair done or reading at least 50 pages of a book in one go. It really has happened! I wasn't really prepared for the sentimental lump in my throat when I saw Tara get on that bus. I think I may have teared up a little, and not only because I was thinking about that spa/book/coffee shop. It was because I realized that even Tara now has a part of her life that I can't really access...I have to let her go and then wait for her to come and tell me all about everything through her beautifully detailed (and significantly embellished) stories. Luckily for me, she has been wonderful about settling into her new school. It feels like she's been going there forever. She loves getting on that bus every morning and how I love seeing both of them jump off smiling every afternoon.

As an aside (and this is in case my grown up children ever read this) - I've been away from this blog for months for no real reason...you remain as cute and eventful as you always have been (except for the several occasions when you haven't). We won't bother filling in details from the last 6 months and just pretend there was never any gap. Who reads all this anyway, right?

But there's some stuff he's still trying to work out...

Vir: Mamma, how do you spell doli?
Me: D - O - L - I. But what's a doli, Vir?
Vir: It's that thing that's shaped like a little house with two sticks on the side. The wife sits inside it and two strong men carry her away.
Me: But where do they take her, Vir?
Vir. Hmm. I don't know. Maybe to a party.

:-)

And Vir is teaching me a thing or two...

While making an art and craft volcano because Science experiments are the latest craze.

Vir: Mamma, how will we make it? What about the fire? How will we get the fire to come out?
Me: We'll think about it, Vir. Let's get the volcano part ready first.
Vir: But I just want the fire.
Me: How can we get the fire if we don't have a volcano first?
Vir: Mamma. Sometimes, in life, there can be a fire without a volcano.

Tara's teaching me a thing or two...

Tara: Mamma, mere paas two rubbers hain!
Me: Tara, rubbers nahin, erasers.
Tara: Mamma....erasers ko English mein rubbers bolte hain. (with a "you seriously don't know this?" tone)
Me: Really? Ye tune kahaan se seekha?
Tara: Ye maine apne aap hi samajh liya, mamma. 

What does Lanco do anyway?

A few months ago, we were driving on the highway, headed towards Delhi. Vir was staring out of the window at cars with the same interest and intensity that he has been displaying for the last 5+ years that I've known him. I've never had a day of trouble with him in the car - he is happy to look out of the window quietly all the way from here to Dehradun, which is about 7-8 hours away, spend about 30 minutes in my mom's house and start asking for another drive in the car! And he's completely quiet in the car. Or at least he used to be - things are a little trickier now because when we're all in the car, he has to choose between staring at cars outside and making Tara cry. Its a really tough choice because they're both so . much . fun!

Anyway, on that particular day, all was quiet in the car, when suddenly Vir spoke up.

"Lanco," he said.
"What's that, Vir?"
"Lanco - it's written right there on that building...see?"

Sure enough, a big sign on one of the buildings read "Lanco." Vijay and I just stared at each other. It was like magic. Our little boy was now making meaning out of symbols! Putting together sounds to make words! Reading! By himself! Now, I know everything your first child does for the first time is always a big deal (sorry, Tara), but come on - the ability to read independently is really truly a huge deal. Its way up there with sleeping through the night, going to pee by yourself, and learning to blow your nose independently, which are milestones every parent dreams about in those early years.

I don't even know how and when it happened...somewhere along the way all the reading of bed time stories and all the stuff they do at school came together to produce that one word - Lanco! The magic of the word lies, of course, in the fact that my son can read it and not in the quality of the product or service that company provides.

We've come a long way since that one word. He's making his way through book after book these days. I couldn't be happier. Of course, it doesn't stop at books. He's reading road signs, newspaper ads, stuff online when he's sitting with me, and TV subtitles. Those are the scariest...especially because I love watching "How I Met Your Mother" and he still finds three letter words the easiest to read.

The only problem? English doesn't always follow logic and I can see he's not happy about that. Every time I correct his pronunciation of a word that defies its spelling, he pauses for a minute, tries to work out why he was wrong, shakes his little head, and moves on a tad philosophically. Maybe he thinks there's hidden wisdom regarding this that will come to him as he becomes a grown up. He came up to me recently with a frown and said, "Mamma....yeh C jo hai na? mujhe bilkul samajh nahin aata - sometimes it sounds like s and sometimes like k. What can I do?"

Hmm...what can we do? Just shrug and keep going, Vir. It's a bit of a wonky language, but there's a tonne of magic hidden in there - you'll see!