Change the topic, quick!

Every so often, Vir does something that makes me yell at him...take a swing at me with his plastic bat, bite Baggdu (yes, really), throw something off the balcony, throw something into the toilet, throw something into the mopping bucket...you get the general idea. When he does one of these things, he's fully aware that they're not allowed (fun as they may be) and chances of me yelling at him are high. So, he has a well prepared response. This is how our exchange usually goes:

Me: Vir, what did you do?
Vir (to himself): I think I'll just look at her dumbly for now.
Me: Vir, why did you throw your battery operated toy in the water?
Vir: *claps hands gleefully* (this should make her think I'm a "good
boy")
Me: No, Vir. You've done nothing great, so there's no need to clap.
Vir: (looks like this hasn't worked. What else does she like...oh
wait...my monkey impression) Ooo Aaa Aaa Ooo Aaa Aaa?
Me: No Vir, I don't want to hear your monkey expression. What
have you done?
Vir: She's a tough cookie. Try the dumb look again.
Me: Can you say sorry?
Vir: Oh thank God! An Out! *Puts both hands to ears in the cutest way
possible immediately cracking the tough cookie that is me.

Looks like I have to practice my stern face much more if I plan to make a disciplined little boy out of the monster I've been handed :-)