Didn't Gandhiji just walk a lot?

I had the best weekend! Two of my best friends got married. To each other. The reception was in Kerala, and I got to go without the kids and with other friends. Doesn't get better than that! Vijay was really great about taking the kids over completely for the weekend. He gave them a really good time and though they missed me and thought I had come back everytime the doorbell rang, they weren't unhappy. And Vijay says they were no trouble at all! I really should do this more often. Muhahahaha.


On the way back, I wanted to pick up little presents for the children. Tara's present was easy - a cream and gold Kerala saree style cotton lehenga. She's totally into legengas these days ever since I got her one for Diwali and the wedding. She loves wearing it. She loves looking at it. She loves talking about it. So I figured, why not double the happiness. Vijay had already bought her another necklace to add to her collection while I was away, so it's safe to say her girl needs for the week have been met.

For Vir, of course I had to look for cars. Because that's the only category of things that's guaranteed to make him happy. The only toy vehicles available at the airport were an Ambassador car and an auto. So that's what I got. He had fallen asleep in the car on the way over to pick me up from the airport. And wouldn't you know it, the first thing he mumbled in his sleep when he started waking up and realized I was back was whether I had brought him cars! He couldn't wait for me to pull them out of my suitcase and he really was thrilled with them. But I think a small part of him may have been disappointed that his new cars weren't sleek and fancy. How do I know this? Because after the initial excitement of new cars wore off, he came up to me and said, "Mamma...is this an old car?" "No, it's new...I just bought it for you, Vir," I said. "No. I mean in real. Is it an old car? Was it very long ago? Did Gandhiji used to drive this?"

Even if he would have been happier with a Ferrari or something, I'm happy that he hasn't come out and said it or complained in any way. He loves his little Gandhi car...he really does! But he just can't help knowing the difference between Gandhi's car and L.N.Mittal's car:-)

They're going to hate me for this one day...

...but how can I not post this conversation I just overheard between my two little ones:

Tara: chalo Vir, hum fillow pighting karte hain.

Vir: theek hai, pehle mein susu kar leta hoon

(Tara follows him to the bathroom and Vir feels obligated to use this as an opportunity to teach her something useful)

Vir: dekho Tara, mein khade hoke susu karta hoon. Aise. Jab aap 4 years ke ho jaaoge, tab aap bhi khade hoke karna. Stand karke. Aise. Okay? Sit karke nahin.

Tara: theek hai. Tab meri bhi "tail" ho jaayegi. Tab mein bhi stand karoongi. Theek hai?

Vir: Tara, tail monkeys ki hoti hai. Hamari nahin hoti. Okay?

Tara: (nodding understandingly)...haan...theek hai.

:-)

Keeping busy on the train

Vir made this on the train ride home from Dehradun for Diwali. Ever since he started school, his pictures have become so recognizable...it's a lot of fun to see this develop. This train ride was a lot easier than others - sign that the kids are growing. I've mostly taken the night train to get to Dehradun because the pain of chasing restless toddlers through crowded train aisles and brushing past the same people again and again up the aisle and then down the aisle while smiling and nodding as if you find this cute is something I'd rather not deal with.

Luckily, there's a train that leaves really late at night and gets you in very early in the morning, so the kids spend most of their journey sleeping. I couldn't manage tickets to it this time around, and was terrified at the thought of 6 hours with the two of them in a closed space. It really wasn't as bad as I had made it out to be. A little bit of planning went into packing loads of stickers and colors and coloring books and toys. That really helped. Some time was taken up by the tempting snack trays courtesy Indian Railways. The rest was spent making friends with other kids scattered all over the bogey. Their parents were as happy as we were that the kids found distraction in each other. Vir is getting a lot better at starting conversations with new kids and even grown ups. In fact, he might be going too far. Still lacking the judgement to figure out whether his displays and conversations are welcome or not, he doesn't quite know where to stop. On the way to Dehradun, another mummy of a little kid was subjected to over an hour of poetry recitation and singing of artis by Vir echoed by Tara. She was really good about it and managed to keep her enthusiasm more or less constant. I briefly considered showing the same interest in her kid as a matter of politeness, but my book was so tempting and the opportunity to read it was too good to miss.

On the way  back, he befriended two 6-year old girls. After showing off every car and sticker and color he had, he invited them to draw and color with him and they were all quite busy for a bit. That sight is way up there with all sorts of good things, I can tell you. Vir also makes me really proud in these situations because he's so willing to share...one of the little girls was hoarding all her colors and papers and the other one had nothing. As it happened, Vir also had only one sheet and 6 pens because Tara was hoarding the rest. Without another thought, Vir agreed to cut that single sheet into two and counted out 3 pens and handed them over to the little girl. Then, he found two empty seats where they both sat together and made little pictures for us. Tara watched and will eventually learn, I hope! Right now, it seems like a really remote possibility with her passion for hoarding every little possession.

All in all, I see light at the end of the traveling tunnel. As long as they can find some relatively enthusiastic listeners and admirers on trains and planes, we should be pretty good from now on.

Thank you, God

My brother was in town recently and commented that I have the most religious children he's ever met! To hear them these days, that might actually be true! Vir has learnt the Gayatri Mantra and Ragupati Raghav Raja Ram at school. They chant "Om" thrice and then the Gayatri Mantra twice at school every day. So, of course, we have to do it at home now too. And God forbid if you chant "Om" twice by mistake. Ma'am says it's thrice, so that's the law. Oh and there's an element of "Om Shanti Shanti" at the end of the chanting too. To add to this, they taught the kids Raghupati Raghav as part of telling them about Gandhiji. Vir is totally addicted to that arati. He hums it while doing his homework, painting, playing, while in the bathroom - basically all the time! Of course he doesn't really know all the words so some of them come out really funny. The funniest variation I've ever heard was:

Ishwar halwa tere naaaaaam....
Sita ram, sita raaaaaaam
Hey bhagwan
Sita ram...

I'm sure Ram and Sita are smiling away up there too.
Of course, Tara has picked up all this from Vir and can also be found singing (squeaking) relgious aratis at all times of day and night. The funniest, and perhaps most appropriate use of the arati was when she sat in the car with my mom driving the other day! Mom hasn't been well and was driving a car for the first time in over a year that day. She was obviously nervous, and given the fervent chanting from the backseat, we think Tara was too!

I haven't traditionally been a big fan of organized religion. (Read that as the understatement that it is). Somehow though, the fact that my kids are learning things that, as of now, are all within Hinduism doesn't bother me. Over time, I'll expose them to the idea that there isn't just one way to address God. In my view, that comes naturally with time as long as you see that being believed and practiced around you. It happened that way with me. My dad was in the army and that automatically exposed me to temples, gurudwaras, churches, and even moques in small measure. I never saw my parents give more importance to one over the other. Wherever we went, the focus was on addressing God and giving thanks. Over time, I developed my own approach to praying and have always been very comfortable with that. That's what I wish for the kids too.

So, while I've never really chanted aratis or shlokas, it makes me happy that they're learning that there are some rituals that they should inculcate just to stop each day and thank God for everything they have. In addition to what they're learning at school, the one thing I do ask Vir to do before he goes to sleep each night, is to look back at his day and say thank you to bhagwanji for all the good stuff that happened. It's really sweet to hear him recount his day and a joy to realize how many small things make him happy - "thank you that I met Anjali ma'am in the mall today," "thank you that mummy gave me mac and cheese today," "thank you for my blue car." Of course, there are times he runs out of good things and then resorts to stuff like "thank you that I went and did susu." Four year olds and their facination with bathroom activities, I tell you. That's a whole other story that I will not be telling.

Tara has been copying Vir very seriously even in this part of the prayer. What amazed me though, is that somewhere along the way, she has figured out the point of it all too. A couple of days ago, she was lying down in bed getting ready to sleep and started off on her own - her own heartfelt little prayer. Luckily, I had my phone with me so I was able to type it out quickly. Just didn't want to lose a moment like that. Here's what she said:

Thank you God for the mall
Thank you God for ice cream because papa gave me
Thank you God because Radhya meri friend hai
Thank you God for mamma gave me duddu
Thank you God because went to mall
Thank you God because papa ne mera besan pancake khaya because mereko besan pancake accha nahin lagta
Thank you God because papa gave me one skittles

I just can't believe that my little one has figured out the logic of identifying good things that happen to her and saying thanks for those - even intangibles like having Radhya for a friend.

Also, I guess she really likes going to the mall!

She'll be a smart business woman one day!

Tara: Mamma, aaj meri bottle school me gir ke tut gayi. (looking horribly dejected)
Me: Never mind, Tara. Main tere liye shop se ek aur le ke aaoongi. Okay?
Tara: (Looking a little happier) Okay

After a pause (during which I swear I could see her mind working!!)

Also, mereko chips, chocolate, aur tic tac bhi chahiye.

Another pause...

Also, Vir ko chips, chocolate, aur tic tac bhi chahiye

 Sounds like a certain two year old is really beginning to figure things out around here!

A whole new world...

The title may be a tad dramatic, but Tara's first movie hall experience really does open up a whole new world for us! It means that not only is there light at the end of the tunnel, but a few beams of it are even beginning to warm us. It really has happened. We have been able to go out for a movie as a family. And watch the whole thing. With popcorn. That's a really big deal.

The thing is that I have always believed, very vocally, that children should not be taken to movie halls since they always trouble others there and spoil what might be a very special movie day for another person. Besides, they don't enjoy the movie themselves anyway and it's probably bad for their ears and their brains to watch the crap that some of these movies are. I'm the terrible just married non-parent who has tut-tutted and even told off more than one frazzled parent for not being able to handle their little one and forcing me to listen to the baby instead of the movie when I had actually paid for the movie - not the baby.

The indignation and tut tutting was before I was a mom. Now, at least I know that parents are frazzled for a reason. However, the belief about not bringing children to movies is more or less in place. With some qualifications. If its a movie you think your child will enjoy, and one that is not going to scar his or her brain, and if you think your kid will behave itself and if you have a plan in place that can be executed immediately if he or she stops behaving well, and if that plan is drastic enough that it involves abandoning the movie altogether if the situation so demands, then it just might be okay to bring a kid to a movie. It has taken a lot of time and of course years of desperate longing for movies and the smell of popcorn to get me to this point. That's why Vir's first movie experience was only a couple of weeks ago with Cars 2. It went so well that I was tempted to try with Tara. I figured she likes popcorn enough to stick with it for a couple of hours. And if the situation started to get difficult, I could give her some chocolate. Or a lollipop. (Note: great parenting is not always about empty calories and sugar.) And of course, if things didn't work, we agreed we'd just give up and leave immediately before much damage was done. And definitely before any of those parents I had told off years ago recognized me and ganged up for revenge. With a detailed plan in place, Vijay, Vir, Tara, and I set off to watch the Lion King.

It was superb! We were a little late and walked in just when the lights had been turned down. I thought this was not good but it turned out to be to my advantage because it scared Tara enough to just sit where I sat her down and not try to explore too much in the dark. But not enough to not be interested in the movie. She was really quite intrigued by what was going on, especially since she recognized the different animals and was able to make some sense of what was going on. And of course, we were very prompt about getting her popcorn, so that helped. She watched the whole movie with one hand in her box of popcorn and the other firmly clutching my elbow for moral support. I didn't mind sacrificing my elbow for a while. At least it was resting on a movie hall seat armrest.

Of course, this still doesn't mean we're going to be watching Delhi Belly or Basic Instinct anytime soon. But it does mean that when a short, animated, kids movie comes out, we can actually go out as a family and sit in one place and enjoy the same thing in our own little ways. Vijay can sleep, I can think about my new found freedom and celebrate with popcorn and coffee, Vir can watch with rapt attention and develop new fantasies and crazy ideas, and Tara can play with popcorn and rub my elbow. Happiness all around!

Stories of freedom fighters

Vir is learning the basics of our freedom movement at school these days since August is upon us. It's incredibly cute to hear of stuff like this from a four year old! Especially when the story gets modified a little by the time I get to hear it.

"Mamma, do you know Gandhiji was on a train once and the Britishers told him to get off the train because he was black. I think he wore a black T-shirt sometimes. When he said no, they threw him out of the train and also threw his luggage and he had to walk back to India."

You smiling at the thought of Gandhiji in a black T-shirt too?