Vir and Tara's Blog

Where is everybody?

2012-01-09T23:51:00.003+05:30

Still very much here. When my kids grow up and read all about themselves, they'll wonder what they were up to during the long periods of silence on this blog. To them I will say - when you grow up and get married and have two brats of your own and a job and a house and a maid who keeps threatening to quit and then finally leaves and a mostly harmless dog and road trips to the gramps and cold, cold winters and lots of laundry that just won't dry - try to write a blog and try to be regular about it.

Only, I'll say this with a very pleasant tone. I might even smile fondly at my memories, while holding a cup of hot coffee in one hand and a favorite piece of fiction in the other. Becase this crazy time will then be in the past. Sigh.

Till then - irregular, yes. Crazy, yes. On the verge of nervous breakdown because kids holidays have lasted too long, yes. On the whole, very happy with how life is going, hell yes.

My little performers

2011-12-03T23:41:00.001+05:30

My two and a half year old made her stage debut today! It was her school annual day and Tara played a little red fish in the school musical performance of The Rainbow Fish.

When I first heard that her school was planning an annual day, I didn't take it seriously at all. I thought it was just another show and tell kind of thing the school likes to do to keep parents happy. Her school is really big on the marketing front anyway, and I don't mind since I just ignore it for the most part. But when they sent me a circular saying the performance would be at a cultural center in the city in an auditorium and that I needed to deposit 800 bucks for a costume for her, I got pretty fussed about the whole thing. For one thing - 800 bucks for a fish costume? Really? I don't even buy her real clothes that cost that much. And knowing Tara (as I thought I did), I was pretty sure she would seriously injure anyone who tried to put her in a contraption that would make her look like a red fish.

But more importantly, I just didn't agree that a two and a half year old needed to be involved in anything that requires choreography and rehearsals and costumes. Why put her through that kind of stress? Don't we routinely ruin her days by doing terrible things like making her wear warm clothes in the winter, combing her unruly hair, putting her in tights that aren't tight enough, and asking her to wear shoes when she gets out of the house anyway? Why add to her troubles (and the troubles of all those within a 2km radius of her) by asking her to dress up as a fish and dance on a stage?

Besides, I couldn't see the objective of a stage performance for kids that age. What good could that possibly do for her? I can kind of see the point once they're Vir's age. When he had his school assembly and was Papa Bear, it really meant something to him. He was totally willing to put on a warm and fuzzy (and ugly) bear outfit and practice his lines because there was a sense of achievement to be had at the end of the beary hot event. Tara, on the other hand would have no clue what was going on. With this conviction, I went up to Tara's principal and asked her to remove Tara from the annual day performance and not expect her to show up on the day of the event. I can't describe the look the poor lady gave me. It was a mixture of distaste, disbelief, despair, and worry about the 800 bucks that I wouldn't be depositing and some other stuff only she could elaborate on. To her credit, she really tried to explain to me why she thought this whole event was a good idea. I stood my ground though and walked away feeling like I had really done a good job, taken a stand, stood up for my daughter's interests and other such. Damn the education system and all that I say.

So how did we get from there to today's performance? Howcome I'm writing about her stage debut when only a couple of weeks ago, I was seen walking out of the principal's office with a look of smug satisfaction on my face? Turns out Tara was really excited about the rehearsals in the school and just wouldn't be kept away. She did all the steps the teachers were practicing to perfection and was ever willing to show them off to us at home too. What's more - they had a dress rehearsal and Tara loved her red fish outfit. Her teacher call me to ask for my final decision on whether she would perform at the annual day or not. What could I do except chew my words and choke up 800 bucks?

Wouldn't you know it though, Tara turned out to be a complete natural on stage. Despite all initial misgivings, I was super excited to see her do her little dance and am proud to report that she was the best in her class. In fact in the whole school. No other kid swayed from side to side quite like she did and certainly no other kid could have looked cuter than my little red fish. Sad red fish who don't have beautiful scales because the Rainbow Fish just wouldn't share them don't come any cuter than this.

I could see her scanning the audience looking for us as she was dancing. When Vir ran up to a place where she could see him and called out, she called out to him and pointed but didn't even miss a beat or a step. She was busy making mental notes though, because when she finally met me after the performance, she looked at me accusingly and said "Vir mereko dekhne aaya....tu nahi aaya?" Little do you know little one that my eyes were on you every second of the way and that (though I'm really embarassed to confess) I even teared up at the thought of how much you've grown in just two and a half years.

Well, my eyes would have been on you and the rest of the play throughout had it not been for the diversion created by your big brother. Vir was so excited about the entire stage performance idea that he decided he needed to go up and contribute too. And the best thing to do, he thought, would be to tell a story. When he shared his intention with me, I, of course just laughed it off saying he could do that at his own school assembly. He was really serious though. So serious and so seriously hurt at being stopped that he spent the next 20 minutes howling loudly and uncontrollably that he wasn't being given his shot at fame. So there we were - Vijay and I - faced with yet another situation life had not prepared us for. One the one hand, a carefully prepped and choreographed school annual day complete with scripts and props and printed programs and harried teachers and nervous principal, and first row reserved for VIPs. On the other hand, a 5 year old kid who is taking it very personally that he's not being allowed to show an audience of 250 people what he's really got and who might (we think) withdraw into a shell if his talents were thwarted at this early age. What were a pair of insecure and unprepared parents to do? Luckily for us, the principal opened up the stage to parents as part of her thank you address. We jumped at the opportunity, and requested her to let Vir have the stage for a while too. It was a little embarassing I must admit because this is the same principal, you might remember, from whose office I had been seen walking out with a look of smug satisfaction on my face not too long ago. Something about not wanting kids to perform on stage if I remember correctly.

Back to the point though. Vir got his chance. He wiped his tears, put on his game face and walked right up to the mic on stage under the spotlight in front of 250 people, took a deep breath and said, "Good morning parents. I will tell you the story of the Little Red Hen." And proceeded to narrate without a single fumble or error an entire story from beginning to the very end when all the farm animals were ready to eat the bread. It was at least 3-4 minutes of talk time and he was a pure natural through the whole thing. Vijay and I had no idea how to react. So we just sat back and watched our little boy do his thing!

Little red hen and little red fish - you surprise us every day and every day you make us proud! Of course, we're mostly totally unprepared for the stuff you throw at us, but in your defence, you never promised otherwise, did you?

Didn't Gandhiji just walk a lot?

2011-11-15T23:34:00.001+05:30

I had the best weekend! Two of my best friends got married. To each other. The reception was in Kerala, and I got to go without the kids and with other friends. Doesn't get better than that! Vijay was really great about taking the kids over completely for the weekend. He gave them a really good time and though they missed me and thought I had come back everytime the doorbell rang, they weren't unhappy. And Vijay says they were no trouble at all! I really should do this more often. Muhahahaha.

On the way back, I wanted to pick up little presents for the children. Tara's present was easy - a cream and gold Kerala saree style cotton lehenga. She's totally into legengas these days ever since I got her one for Diwali and the wedding. She loves wearing it. She loves looking at it. She loves talking about it. So I figured, why not double the happiness. Vijay had already bought her another necklace to add to her collection while I was away, so it's safe to say her girl needs for the week have been met.

For Vir, of course I had to look for cars. Because that's the only category of things that's guaranteed to make him happy. The only toy vehicles available at the airport were an Ambassador car and an auto. So that's what I got. He had fallen asleep in the car on the way over to pick me up from the airport. And wouldn't you know it, the first thing he mumbled in his sleep when he started waking up and realized I was back was whether I had brought him cars! He couldn't wait for me to pull them out of my suitcase and he really was thrilled with them. But I think a small part of him may have been disappointed that his new cars weren't sleek and fancy. How do I know this? Because after the initial excitement of new cars wore off, he came up to me and said, "Mamma...is this an old car?" "No, it's new...I just bought it for you, Vir," I said. "No. I mean in real. Is it an old car? Was it very long ago? Did Gandhiji used to drive this?"

Even if he would have been happier with a Ferrari or something, I'm happy that he hasn't come out and said it or complained in any way. He loves his little Gandhi car...he really does! But he just can't help knowing the difference between Gandhi's car and L.N.Mittal's car:-)

They're going to hate me for this one day...

2011-10-31T16:04:00.002+05:30

...but how can I not post this conversation I just overheard between my two little ones:

Tara: chalo Vir, hum fillow pighting karte hain.

Vir: theek hai, pehle mein susu kar leta hoon

(Tara follows him to the bathroom and Vir feels obligated to use this as an opportunity to teach her something useful)

Vir: dekho Tara, mein khade hoke susu karta hoon. Aise. Jab aap 4 years ke ho jaaoge, tab aap bhi khade hoke karna. Stand karke. Aise. Okay? Sit karke nahin.

Tara: theek hai. Tab meri bhi "tail" ho jaayegi. Tab mein bhi stand karoongi. Theek hai?

Vir: Tara, tail monkeys ki hoti hai. Hamari nahin hoti. Okay?

Tara: (nodding understandingly)...haan...theek hai.

:-)

Keeping busy on the train

2011-10-29T13:57:00.001+05:30

Vir made this on the train ride home from Dehradun for Diwali. Ever since he started school, his pictures have become so recognizable...it's a lot of fun to see this develop. This train ride was a lot easier than others - sign that the kids are growing. I've mostly taken the night train to get to Dehradun because the pain of chasing restless toddlers through crowded train aisles and brushing past the same people again and again up the aisle and then down the aisle while smiling and nodding as if you find this cute is something I'd rather not deal with.

Luckily, there's a train that leaves really late at night and gets you in very early in the morning, so the kids spend most of their journey sleeping. I couldn't manage tickets to it this time around, and was terrified at the thought of 6 hours with the two of them in a closed space. It really wasn't as bad as I had made it out to be. A little bit of planning went into packing loads of stickers and colors and coloring books and toys. That really helped. Some time was taken up by the tempting snack trays courtesy Indian Railways. The rest was spent making friends with other kids scattered all over the bogey. Their parents were as happy as we were that the kids found distraction in each other. Vir is getting a lot better at starting conversations with new kids and even grown ups. In fact, he might be going too far. Still lacking the judgement to figure out whether his displays and conversations are welcome or not, he doesn't quite know where to stop. On the way to Dehradun, another mummy of a little kid was subjected to over an hour of poetry recitation and singing of artis by Vir echoed by Tara. She was really good about it and managed to keep her enthusiasm more or less constant. I briefly considered showing the same interest in her kid as a matter of politeness, but my book was so tempting and the opportunity to read it was too good to miss.

On the way back, he befriended two 6-year old girls. After showing off every car and sticker and color he had, he invited them to draw and color with him and they were all quite busy for a bit. That sight is way up there with all sorts of good things, I can tell you. Vir also makes me really proud in these situations because he's so willing to share...one of the little girls was hoarding all her colors and papers and the other one had nothing. As it happened, Vir also had only one sheet and 6 pens because Tara was hoarding the rest. Without another thought, Vir agreed to cut that single sheet into two and counted out 3 pens and handed them over to the little girl. Then, he found two empty seats where they both sat together and made little pictures for us. Tara watched and will eventually learn, I hope! Right now, it seems like a really remote possibility with her passion for hoarding every little possession.

All in all, I see light at the end of the traveling tunnel. As long as they can find some relatively enthusiastic listeners and admirers on trains and planes, we should be pretty good from now on.

Thank you, God

2011-09-12T09:17:00.002+05:30

My brother was in town recently and commented that I have the most religious children he's ever met! To hear them these days, that might actually be true! Vir has learnt the Gayatri Mantra and Ragupati Raghav Raja Ram at school. They chant "Om" thrice and then the Gayatri Mantra twice at school every day. So, of course, we have to do it at home now too. And God forbid if you chant "Om" twice by mistake. Ma'am says it's thrice, so that's the law. Oh and there's an element of "Om Shanti Shanti" at the end of the chanting too. To add to this, they taught the kids Raghupati Raghav as part of telling them about Gandhiji. Vir is totally addicted to that arati. He hums it while doing his homework, painting, playing, while in the bathroom - basically all the time! Of course he doesn't really know all the words so some of them come out really funny. The funniest variation I've ever heard was:

Ishwar halwa tere naaaaaam....
Sita ram, sita raaaaaaam
Hey bhagwan
Sita ram...

I'm sure Ram and Sita are smiling away up there too.
Of course, Tara has picked up all this from Vir and can also be found singing (squeaking) relgious aratis at all times of day and night. The funniest, and perhaps most appropriate use of the arati was when she sat in the car with my mom driving the other day! Mom hasn't been well and was driving a car for the first time in over a year that day. She was obviously nervous, and given the fervent chanting from the backseat, we think Tara was too!

I haven't traditionally been a big fan of organized religion. (Read that as the understatement that it is). Somehow though, the fact that my kids are learning things that, as of now, are all within Hinduism doesn't bother me. Over time, I'll expose them to the idea that there isn't just one way to address God. In my view, that comes naturally with time as long as you see that being believed and practiced around you. It happened that way with me. My dad was in the army and that automatically exposed me to temples, gurudwaras, churches, and even moques in small measure. I never saw my parents give more importance to one over the other. Wherever we went, the focus was on addressing God and giving thanks. Over time, I developed my own approach to praying and have always been very comfortable with that. That's what I wish for the kids too.

So, while I've never really chanted aratis or shlokas, it makes me happy that they're learning that there are some rituals that they should inculcate just to stop each day and thank God for everything they have. In addition to what they're learning at school, the one thing I do ask Vir to do before he goes to sleep each night, is to look back at his day and say thank you to bhagwanji for all the good stuff that happened. It's really sweet to hear him recount his day and a joy to realize how many small things make him happy - "thank you that I met Anjali ma'am in the mall today," "thank you that mummy gave me mac and cheese today," "thank you for my blue car." Of course, there are times he runs out of good things and then resorts to stuff like "thank you that I went and did susu." Four year olds and their facination with bathroom activities, I tell you. That's a whole other story that I will not be telling.

Tara has been copying Vir very seriously even in this part of the prayer. What amazed me though, is that somewhere along the way, she has figured out the point of it all too. A couple of days ago, she was lying down in bed getting ready to sleep and started off on her own - her own heartfelt little prayer. Luckily, I had my phone with me so I was able to type it out quickly. Just didn't want to lose a moment like that. Here's what she said:

Thank you God for the mall
Thank you God for ice cream because papa gave me
Thank you God because Radhya meri friend hai
Thank you God for mamma gave me duddu
Thank you God because went to mall
Thank you God because papa ne mera besan pancake khaya because mereko besan pancake accha nahin lagta
Thank you God because papa gave me one skittles

I just can't believe that my little one has figured out the logic of identifying good things that happen to her and saying thanks for those - even intangibles like having Radhya for a friend.

Also, I guess she really likes going to the mall!

She'll be a smart business woman one day!

2011-09-09T12:26:00.000+05:30

Tara: Mamma, aaj meri bottle school me gir ke tut gayi. (looking horribly dejected)
Me: Never mind, Tara. Main tere liye shop se ek aur le ke aaoongi. Okay?
Tara: (Looking a little happier) Okay

After a pause (during which I swear I could see her mind working!!)

Also, mereko chips, chocolate, aur tic tac bhi chahiye.

Another pause...

Also, Vir ko chips, chocolate, aur tic tac bhi chahiye

Sounds like a certain two year old is really beginning to figure things out around here!

A whole new world...

2011-08-08T22:47:00.000+05:30

The title may be a tad dramatic, but Tara's first movie hall experience really does open up a whole new world for us! It means that not only is there light at the end of the tunnel, but a few beams of it are even beginning to warm us. It really has happened. We have been able to go out for a movie as a family. And watch the whole thing. With popcorn. That's a really big deal.

The thing is that I have always believed, very vocally, that children should not be taken to movie halls since they always trouble others there and spoil what might be a very special movie day for another person. Besides, they don't enjoy the movie themselves anyway and it's probably bad for their ears and their brains to watch the crap that some of these movies are. I'm the terrible just married non-parent who has tut-tutted and even told off more than one frazzled parent for not being able to handle their little one and forcing me to listen to the baby instead of the movie when I had actually paid for the movie - not the baby.

The indignation and tut tutting was before I was a mom. Now, at least I know that parents are frazzled for a reason. However, the belief about not bringing children to movies is more or less in place. With some qualifications. If its a movie you think your child will enjoy, and one that is not going to scar his or her brain, and if you think your kid will behave itself and if you have a plan in place that can be executed immediately if he or she stops behaving well, and if that plan is drastic enough that it involves abandoning the movie altogether if the situation so demands, then it just might be okay to bring a kid to a movie. It has taken a lot of time and of course years of desperate longing for movies and the smell of popcorn to get me to this point. That's why Vir's first movie experience was only a couple of weeks ago with Cars 2. It went so well that I was tempted to try with Tara. I figured she likes popcorn enough to stick with it for a couple of hours. And if the situation started to get difficult, I could give her some chocolate. Or a lollipop. (Note: great parenting is not always about empty calories and sugar.) And of course, if things didn't work, we agreed we'd just give up and leave immediately before much damage was done. And definitely before any of those parents I had told off years ago recognized me and ganged up for revenge. With a detailed plan in place, Vijay, Vir, Tara, and I set off to watch the Lion King.

It was superb! We were a little late and walked in just when the lights had been turned down. I thought this was not good but it turned out to be to my advantage because it scared Tara enough to just sit where I sat her down and not try to explore too much in the dark. But not enough to not be interested in the movie. She was really quite intrigued by what was going on, especially since she recognized the different animals and was able to make some sense of what was going on. And of course, we were very prompt about getting her popcorn, so that helped. She watched the whole movie with one hand in her box of popcorn and the other firmly clutching my elbow for moral support. I didn't mind sacrificing my elbow for a while. At least it was resting on a movie hall seat armrest.

Of course, this still doesn't mean we're going to be watching Delhi Belly or Basic Instinct anytime soon. But it does mean that when a short, animated, kids movie comes out, we can actually go out as a family and sit in one place and enjoy the same thing in our own little ways. Vijay can sleep, I can think about my new found freedom and celebrate with popcorn and coffee, Vir can watch with rapt attention and develop new fantasies and crazy ideas, and Tara can play with popcorn and rub my elbow. Happiness all around!

Stories of freedom fighters

2011-08-02T18:08:00.000+05:30

Vir is learning the basics of our freedom movement at school these days since August is upon us. It's incredibly cute to hear of stuff like this from a four year old! Especially when the story gets modified a little by the time I get to hear it.

"Mamma, do you know Gandhiji was on a train once and the Britishers told him to get off the train because he was black. I think he wore a black T-shirt sometimes. When he said no, they threw him out of the train and also threw his luggage and he had to walk back to India."

You smiling at the thought of Gandhiji in a black T-shirt too?

Errm...

2011-07-29T00:08:00.000+05:30

Vir and Tara were playing under the dining table this evening and eating a "picnic" of sprouts! Yes, even sprouts are fun when you're allowed to have them on pillows and blankets spread under your little dining table house with all your toys! I'm a genius. But that's not the point...here's what he asked us...

"My tummy is hurting a little bit. Do you think a baby will come out of there?"

Hard to keep a straight face when you get questions like that!

You'll never know, my boy, that a baby doesn't happen with a "little bit" of pain. And trust me, you'll be in a lot of pain if you suggest that to the one day mother of your baby!

Fun with phonetics

2011-07-17T22:56:00.000+05:30

Vir's class is in the middle of learning the "m" sound in Hindi these days. He brought home a little worksheet that had pictures of Hindi words starting with the "m" sound that we were going through together.

Me: look, magarmachch. What's the sound?
Vir: m
Me: and machchar. What's the sound?
Vir: m
Me: and makkdi. What's the sound?
Vir: m
Me: and machchli. What's the sound?
Vir: m
Me: and matar. What's the sound?
Vir: tarrrrr

Just when I thought he was answering without thinking!
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

Ah to be little again!

2011-07-03T18:43:00.000+05:30

It amazes me the things they come up with. They take things so literally and totally at face value!

Vir: mamma, which school did you go to when you were small?
Me: I went to lots of different schools because nana was in the army and we had to shift a lot.
Vir: Shift?
Me: ya, like move from one place to another. We had to shift homes.
Vir: But mamma, how did you push the house so far?

And...

Vir: mamma, what are you reading? Is this your new book?
Me: yes.
Vir: who wrote it?
Me: a person called Amitav Ghosh
Vir: but how do you read?
Me: you just learn to spell all the words as you keep going to school and then you can read. Like see his name here...it spells A-M-I-T-A-V. You know he lives in New York too.
Vir: really? But then how did he send the book to you?

It's so cute that he thinks like this! But also a little scary because it probably means he takes everything I say seriously and I don't always say the right things. Of course in time Vir will figure out that what one says isn't always exactly what one means. But I hope this simplicity sticks around for as long as possible, even if it means I finally have to learn to watch what I say and curb my hyperbolic tendencies for a while!
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

My wise little one

2011-06-29T22:03:00.000+05:30

She comes up to me after changing into a fresh set of clothes and casually asks, "How do I look?"

She sees me upset about something and says, "Don't cry mamma. Don't worry."

She wakes up Vir in the morning saying, "Bhai, uth jaa. School jaana hai."

I tell her I'm going out for a bit. She tells the maid, "Mamma ko swimming pool jaana hai."

How does she know everything?!
Sent on my BlackBerry® from Vodafone

I want it my way!

2011-06-21T09:30:00.000+05:30

If I'm playing one of those association games where you have to think of the first word that pops into your mind when you're thinking of someone, I'd say for Tara it's "khud." Everything for Little Miss (too) Independent is KHUD KHUD KHUUUUUD. You just can't help her. She won't let you. For things she knows how to do and for things she doesn't know how to do. Eating? Khud! Wearing a diaper? Khud! Wearing her clothes? Khud! Cutting her nails? Khud! Brushing her teeth? Khud! Opening the car, boarding the car, belting herself into her car seat? Khud! Fixing a snack? Khud! And God forbid if you get impatient with her speed and try to give her a little helping hand without taking her permission, she will get mad at you, shake a finger at you and say no-no-no and proceed to start whatever she's doing all over again. Literally, she takes off her half worn pyjama and starts again just because you touched it and moved it along a little and now she doesn't feel like she's done it all-by-herself. Or she gets off her car seat and gets back on again just so she knows she has owned all the steps.

I admit I'm really proud of her for this trait. It's very cool that she just has this streak of independence. We've done nothing to bring it about in her - she's so small that it comes very naturally to us to just try to do things for her like feed her or dress her. But from the beginning, she's having none of that. Of course, this is not always cute. Of the hundreds of transactions in a day with a child, sometimes you really need to get ahead of your day by doing everything as fast as you can. When I have things to do (ummm - always!), the temptation to just grab her and put that damn dress over her head is so strong! And trust me, there are days when I actually do this. Not that it helps. She gets so upset at not having control that she just takes the dress right off and proceeds to run around naked all over the place leaving me totally defeated. I'm spending my days trying to avoid battles with a two-year old because I know the minute there's a battle, I'm going to lose. In the immediate moment, I complain and yell because of the constant struggles she puts me through. But in the long run, I know she'll be alright because she'll always know what she wants and won't ever wait around for someone else to make things happen for her. Go girl! Just give your poor dad and me a little break once in a while, ok?

Back off, real world

2011-06-18T23:18:00.000+05:30

So Vir and I were chatting before he fell asleep tonight and this is what he told me:

"Mamma, when I go to school in my bus, there are some boys - they're older boys like maybe 10 years old - they call me Vir Gogi Vir Gogi and one boy calls me Vir Gogi and all of them laugh at me. One day they did that and I started crying but I didn't do waaah waaah - only tears started coming but I stayed quiet because if I cried then they would call me a cry baby. So only tears came and my face was wet. Then one nice boy who was wearing a yellow T-shirt and pants was very nice to me. He didn't call me Vir Gogi. When my home came, he just told me to come with him. He was very nice."

Yep. My heart just about broke. He's so little, why does he have to face mean boys who call him Vir Gogi already? The mom in me just wants to grab that monster in the blue T-shirt who calls my son Vir Gogi and laughs at him and makes him cry quietly and give him a good shake. But the mom in me also knows the only way to do this is to give my son a way to handle this on his own. I wish I knew what the right answer is. For now, I just explained to him what it means to ignore someone when they're trying to finger you and told him to pretend he couldn't be bothered with them and think about his next birthday cake instead. That'll bore the bullies and send them on their way. Let's hope I'm on the right track with the life lessons on the big bad world filled with boys in blue T-shirts.

Family Holiday: Mogambo Strikes Goa

2011-05-29T00:23:00.000+05:30

I've been away from this blog for too long as always, but for a happy reason. The four of us actually managed a family holiday to Goa! We got off to a not so great start with a four hour flight delay which led Vir to announce that he wanted to abandon the whole Goa trip and just go home and sleep.

We weren't to be beaten however, and finally made it to our hotel at almost 3:00 a.m with the kids wide awake and ready to explore! Vijay and I decided we couldn't get the kids to bed, so we might as well start drinking. That was a good idea. The rest of the trip was just one good idea after another. Long naps by the sea, hours of reading while the kids watched TV or ran around with their buckets and spades, sitting at the beach and watching the kids experience the absolute joy of playing with sand and limitless amounts of water with no parental limits, leisurely swims with more than occasional trips to the pool bar...sigh. Holidays are just amazing, aren't they?

Both the kids had a lot of fun, but I think Vir more so than Tara. For some reason, though Tara seemed quite excited and was screaming Goaaaaaaa Goaaaaa at everyone three days before we were to leave, a part of her little toddler brain doesn't like change too much. Her way of protesting was to just stop eating. And for my independent little foodie, that's saying something. I couldn't understand why nothing on those elaborate hotel buffets would tempt her and why all her favorites were just being thrown around instead of munched. Now that we're back and she's eating, I realize it was just the change. But while we were there, I think it was her niggling hunger that she couldn't quite identify that made her madder than ever at the world for not doing EXACTLY WHAT she wanted EXACTLY WHEN she wanted it. If you were one of the guests at our hotel last week, you'll never forget the noise that scary toddler made every mealtime. I still get a little weak kneed thinking about it. One of the attendants at the restaurant named her DND. "You can look at her and you can admire her from a distance but you better not mess with her!" A part of me is quite happy that she is good at creating boundaries and letting people know exactly what she'll allow. Right now at the angelic and cheruby age of 2 (I'm taking refuge in sarcasm), those boundaries are very, very clear. Especially to her. And new boundaries are being formed literally as I type. This essentially means that you never know when you're crossing some sort of line with her and might start off a screaming fit complete with tears and snotty nose just because you helped her take off a sandal she wanted to manage herself or because you put a spoon of dal on her rice or because you gave her water in the WRONG WRONG WRONG bottle.

Well meaning strangers have been coming up to me to tell me that this is just a phase and it too shall pass. Vijay and I are sometimes dealing with her bravely and sometimes not. We're often seen sitting and watching another tantrum play out with a dazed and numbed-by-the-pain sort of expression. Sometimes, we deal with it by just laughing it off...the crazed and semi-hysterical laughter, not the ha-ha-this-is-fun laughter. Mostly, we just do everything we can to keep our wits about us and know exactly how she wants life to be so we can tread around the tantrums and not get sucked into them. I have no idea how to sustain our mine field treading for the whole year though...she just turned two...we've only hit the T of the terrible twos yet!

What gets us by of course is that when she's not mad at the world, she's just about the cutest little thing you ever saw. She has an irresistible smile which makes her eyes and nose just scrunch up and disappear and its the doses of that face and that little voice saying "lovelu so much mammmmi" that tell us that our little queen bee is just a little baby after all!

Growing up too fast!

2011-05-14T01:28:00.002+05:30

My little Tara turned two this week. Cliche'd as it sounds, I just cannot believe how quickly this has happened. She was just born. She was a tiny, tiny thing being brought to me by the doctor as my heart was filled with sunshine (another cliche but equally true) that she was born a girl and I was now a daughter's mom! I don't know how to explain why this meant so much to me. Of course I would have loved a boy as much, but having her meant so many things that I so wanted. I wanted Vir to have a sister and her to have a brother like Vir. I wanted Vijay to know the joy of loving his little girl. I wanted a girl to talk to in a house full of boys. I wanted another bond like the one I share with my mom. I wanted a little doll to dress up (yes, yes I'm very shallow and laden with gender stereotypes). I wanted to justify shopping for insane amounts of clips and ribbons and pink junk. Basically, I wanted it all. And I have her to thank for making it happen. She is totally holding up her end of the bargain, giving us joy and entertainment and love all packaged up in the pink that I'll never tire of buying for her.

Before Tara came, I used to wonder how it was possible for me to love someone else the way I loved Vir. I was honestly worried that I wouldn't be able to do this twice and the second one would somehow feel less loved. I'm still amazed by how this problem went away the second she entered the world. As long as she doesn't do a post count on this blog and discover how little I end up writing about her, I think she'll feel very loved because I now know it's silly to worry about how to love your kid. You just do and that's that. Of course, a part of me knows that Tara is quite capable of conducting a post count and coming at me with the stats as soon as she can power up a computer. So, I'll be writing furiously over the next few weeks and all my writing will feature the junior most Gogoi as the protagonist. Baby Mogambo, as we have taken to calling her (only partially affectionately, I'm afraid), will only be happy when enough has been said about her and her prettiness and the prettiness of her hair, eyes, nose, clothes, shoes, and everything else to do with her. Luckily for me, I have a lot of writing material and new stuff is being developed everyday, thanks to the drama queen who just turned two.

Happy Birthday Taru. Live happy.

So this is how it's going to be!

2011-04-25T19:18:00.000+05:30

Me: Vir, did you sit with Tejas in class again today?
Vir: No, I'm not friends with Tejas anymore.
Me: Why not?
Vir: Because a girl, Gia, came to me and asked if I could be her friend. And I said yes.
Me: So?
Vir: So I'll have to tell Tejas tomorrow that I can't be his friend anymore.

:-)

How the humble crow came to our help in an hour of need

2011-04-24T11:44:00.000+05:30

It constantly amazes me how the simplest and most straightforward of activities that you could just pull off without a thought before you had kids now seem like the greatest of challenges and get done either not at all or with much pain and procrastination. As an example, the light in our bathroom has been out for (I'm not kidding) over a month now. The particular tubelight that fits this rare holder is apparently only available in Sikanderpur - which is worse than a sharp pain you know where at the best of times. To go there with kids evokes such horror and fear in both me and my husband that we have happily lived with the alternative for over a month. We have chosen to live without a light and stumble along in the dark arms outstretched looking for the pot when we want to use the loo at night. We have taken baths in the light of our cell phones or little candles and even told ourselves that candlelit baths are romantic. Granted, we don't have a tub or jacuzzi and we haven't had glasses of wine and glossy magazines for company but hey, with two kids, you take whatever you can get, right?

Anyway, last evening, I had finally reached the end of my patience with make believe romantic baths and midnight stumbles just to pee and I really wanted a light in my bathroom damnit! Of course, one of us could have gone alone to buy the tubelight but we (believe it or not) wanted to spend the whole weekend together and this would be such a waste of time alone. So we gathered up our courage, made a list of all the other things that were not working in the house that we could get from Sikanderpur, got the kids and their water and the diaper bag ready, fed and walked the dog, and did all the hundred things one does when leaving the house with kids for even a little while. We felt so brave, finally on our mission to get things done, take control, sieze the day, and all that (of course it's that big a deal!)

So we get there and since Tara has fallen asleep on the way, I wait in the car while Vijay and Vir head into the market with the list of things to buy. And wouldn't you know it, as soon as Vijay gets into the shop and begins to tell the shop keeper what he needs, Vir announces that he wants to poop. Loudly in the store, "papa...potty aa gayi. Zor se potty aa gayi..." Really? Poop? In Sikanderpur? Plonk goes the whole sieze the day idea. Now it's just about buying as many of those tubelights and other things as possible before things get out of hand. Vijay hurriedly picks up some random bulbs and tubelights while telling Vir to try not to think about it and wait a little bit. Meanwhile, the shopkeeper is visibly tense because he has a business to think of and little boys who want to poop right in the middle of his shop can't be good for that. He urges the sales guy to hurry the hell up and get these people what they want already. Vir isn't helping at all with the non-stop "papa-potty-potty-papa-potty" chant.

I have no idea all this is going on and am just happy thinking of all the things I can strike off my to do list when I get back from this trip. So, I'm not too happy to see a not too happy Vijay rushing towards the car with a not too happy Vir. (Tara is happy, but only because she's asleep.) I get the jist of what's going on through Vir's chanting and Vijay's muttered grumbling. We're at least 25 minutes away from home and a clean loo. Trust kids to want to poop at all the wrong times. I try to tell Vir not to think about it and wait a little bit - that's been done before and it's not working, says Vijay.

Suddenly, when things are really on the verge if you know what I mean, Vijay remembers what worked for him when he was a kid in a similar situation. A little poem his nanny taught him. It's in Assamese and the protagonist is a crow or a kaori. The jist of it is that the crow is being asked to take away the poop and bring it back at a more opportune time. Vijay teaches Vir the poem and Vir earnestly repeats it. He forgets all the other lines after the first time and all we can hear is a very trusting little voice going "kaori-kaori-kaori-kaori-kaori." "Is it working, Vir?" says Vijay, "Is the kaori helping you?" (We're really hoping kaori is not sleeping on the job today since we need him to get us out of Sikanderpur.) "Yes," says Vir, "kaori-kaori-kaori..."

Phew. Turns out kaori really knows what he's doing because not only did he take away the poop, he also got Vir to fall asleep before we reached home. It's 16 hours later as I write this and kaori has yet to return :-)

As for my tubelight? Let's just say we have a few more candlelit baths to take before I can report any success there!

Who needs TV?

2011-04-10T22:53:00.001+05:30

Here's an attempted recreation of the scene before bedtime last night:

Scene: Kids' bedtime, mom tired and ready to end the day and pushing the kids to brush and change and go to sleep already. Vir is all changed up and fooling around on the bed while I'm trying to get Tara to change.

Me: Tara, lie down please...you need to wear your pyjama.

Tara: (wisely, while holding up her PJs) Panjana

Me: That's right Tara...that's your pyjama. Can you wear it please? Lie down!

Tara: Shakes head very decisively as she always does and refuses to give me the PJs

Me: You want to wear it yourself (little miss "too" independent)

Tara: Already putting her legs in and having a go at the PJs. After a few tries, she manages to get it on up to her knees.

Me: Okay Tara, lie down please so I can pull it up.

Tara: Shakes head decisively again.

Me: Now what?

Tara: Pats bed a few times that she wants to wear her PJs sitting down (She's fiercely independent but not currently capable of thinking through her decisions.)

Me: (Okay, let me explain this calmly. Arguing with Tara doesn't help. And ordering certainly doesn't.) But Tara, if you're sitting down, how will the pyjama go up your bottoms? See...it'll get stuck right here...

Tara: Pats bed again stubbornly (I already told you how I want to do this, right mom?)

Me: Okay - try it.

Tara: Tries it. Doesn't work.

Vir: (jumping into action) Mamma...I can teach her how to do this! But I'll have to take my pyjama off to show her.

Me: Watching in dismay as the one kid who was actually ready for bed swiftly undresses and joins the party.

Vir: (super cutely demonstrating how a pyjama is worn while Tara looks on like everything depends on this) Look Tara....first you have to hold the pyjama like this, then you have to look for the tag and make sure it's at the back, then you have to put your legs in. Now you have to stand up and pull from the front and pull from behind. (It works! Vir's pyjama is back on and Tara looks like he may have a point after all. She may be stubborn but you can't really argue with such strong visual proof. I can almost see her considering trying this radical new way of wearing pyjamas.)

Tara: does exactly as instructed by her PJ teacher cheered on very enthusiastically at every step by the said teacher and a mother who is seeing light at the end of the long bedtime prep tunnel. And will you believe it, she does it! The PJs are where they should be, Vir is ecstatic at having imparted wisdom, Tara is happy that she didn't have to ask for help, and I can't help laughing out loud at my comical kids and my uniquely comical bedtime routine!

Big School!

2011-04-07T11:46:00.000+05:30

It's finally happened! Vir has started big school. Embarked on a long journey and all that. His Shroopie masi thinks the journey should end at her doorstep - with a PhD in hand. I'm already in awe of the said masi so I'd love for that to come true. On the other hand, I often think of the romance involved in him becoming an out of work artist. Vijay wonders why my dream involves him being out of work. If he's an artist, so be it, but can we at least hope that he should have work? There has also been a time when Vijay and I have paranoid-ally worried that he might be into car racing given his passion for cars and we have visualized ourselves as a terrified old couple cowering in the stands while our son races past at a speed at which you don't want your children to race past. Sigh. All that is thankfully later. For now, I just hope that he loves his school and his little nursery class and his two teachers and that he gets off his bus everyday grinning and full of stories for me.

I was really worried about how he would take school especially since he's been at home with me for so many months. I spent the last month prepping him for this but didn't have too much hope that this would result in him happily trotting off into class while waving me a cheerful goodbye. That doesn't happen with him. What I expected was him starting with a low grade whining about not wanting to go to school and ending in loud wails while clinging to my thigh. That happened.

Luckily though, there's a happy ending. I didn't have to peel him off my thigh and leave him crying and kicking at his unfortunate teacher, thanks to Tara! I had taken her with me to drop Vir off to class and while he was not at all interested in any of the things set up in his class to invite and encourage kids, Tara was thrilled to see all the play dough and the toys and the colors and and immediately made herself comfortable in his class. When Vir wouldn't let me leave and Tara wouldn't agree to leave the class, one of his class teachers took pity on me as I was getting increasingly frazzled (God bless her) and offered to keep Tara in class for a while too so Vir had someone he loved in there. Vir loved the idea and of course Tara wasn't complaining. So they held hands and trotted off into the classroom, this time waving me cheerful goodbyes. Phew! I managed to extract Tara after a while and bit all my nails off over the next couple of hours as I went home and waited for the bus to drop him off after school. I'm happy to report that he jumped out grinning widely and had all sorts of things to tell me about his first day.

He's off to school now - it's his third day and I just can't wait for him to back. It's strange for me to not be part of what he's doing for so many hours in the day, and all I want to do is hear his stories!

Where does he get this stuff?

2011-03-18T22:11:00.002+05:30

Vir: Mamma, do you know how to dance?

Me: Yes. Why do you ask?

Vir: You know, you have to dance to get married.

Me: Really?

Vir: Ya, that's how you get married.

Me: By dancing?

Vir: Yes, by dancing. That's how. And there's a princess who teaches you to dance if you don't know how to dance.

Marriage is quite the theme of discussion these days. Here's another conversation:

Vijay (to me): Hey, we have to go that wedding this weekend, remember?

Vir: Is it my wedding?

Me: No, Vir.

Vir: Why?

Me: Not yet. One day many years later, you'll find someone to marry and then it will be your wedding.

Vir: I will marry Tara.

Me: No Vir, she's your sister. You'll find someone else because sisters are different from wives.

Vir: Then I won't marry anyone. I'll just stay in Vatika City always.

And another one:

Vir: Mamma, I miss Mamta didi (was the maid who worked with us when Vir was 2)

Me: Yes, Vir. I know that. (So do I!!)

Vir: Why did she have to go away? Did you fire her? (really need to start watching what I say in front of him)

Me: Umm (gulp). Yes, but she needed to go to her house anyway because she had to get married.

Vir: So why did she have to go away if she had to get married?

Me: Because sometimes when you get married, you need to go to a different house.

Vir (from the bottom of his heart): Mamma, marriage is so unfair.

:-)

My conscientious student

2011-03-16T22:02:00.001+05:30

It's so funny to think that my little not-even-two-year-old has been paying attention at school! She lay in bed last night just before she fell asleep babbling away like she always does when she started uttering some gibberishy thing followed by ha-ha-ha. Then again something something and ha-ha-ha. Then something something sugar ha-ha-ha. She was trying to sing Johnny Johnny to me! I have never sung this rhyme to her, so I figured she learnt it at school. Of course, Vijay and I were very excited and have made her repeat this so many times that she can now even say the no-papa part right on cue followed by a great big ha-ha-ha!

What will tomorrow bring? Maybe she'll tell me how the monsoon travels to India. I really never understood that lesson in Geography:-)

Fitting the stereotypes

2011-03-10T23:18:00.002+05:30

Before boys are born, they're made to drink a shot of the car-airplane-monster truck-anything on wheels potion. And before girls are born, they're made to drink a make-up and clothes potion. These are not just stereotypes. Looking at my kids, I'm almost certain this is what really happens.

Vir's undying passion for cars is no secret. Seriously, that boy scares me with how much he thinks about cars and how much he understands them already. Yesterday, he pulled out two pet cars for the day (he always has a one or two that go with him everywhere for a couple of days and are then put away safely while a couple of others get the honor for a while.) Anyway, the two dinky cars he pulled out were, as I saw them, completely different. One was a black and white police car with lights on top and some other embellishments. The other was a blue race car looking thing with a spoiler on the back. As always, he brought them to me to get me to read their names, typically written on the bottom of the Hotwheels ones. I couldn't believe it when I realized that different as they looked, they were both Dodge Chargers. Some part of his boy brain was able to figure out the similarities in the two cars despite all obvious differences and pull them out from his embarrassingly large collection of dinky cars to form a pair. Totally incomprehensible to me of course. I stared and stared at those cars after that to see if I could spot any similarities. None. At all. Of course, I was never given a shot of that magic potion before I was born. Maybe this is why boys don't understand the differences between mauve and lilac, or beige and taupe, or jade and sap. Same as why I don't see the difference between a Dodge Charger and a non Dodge Charger.

The little woman in my house meanwhile is discovering that she loves all things girly. Ask her to show you her nail polish and she'll preen and show off without apology. It started when my sister in law painted hers and her cousin's nails to entertain them one day. They both came out of her room blowing lightly at their fingers as if they've been doing this forever. And today, she came running up to me urgently handing me my kajal and asking me to twist it open and apply it to her lips. All things that twist open must be lipstick of course! And she doesn't let a single opportunity to use creams and lotions and perfumes go by. She just has to see me opening my toiletry cabinet to come running up with her demands. She's always ready to show off her clothes and shoes and her pretty face to all willing admirers. Add a small purse to her ensemble and that's all she needs. My mom actually sent her a shiny little purse with two bottles of nail polish inside as a present to make her happy recently. Totally made the little show off's day!

Of course, we're not doing anything to consciously promote these stereotypes, but they're such fun to watch that we're not really discouraging them either. As if we could fight against the magic potions even if we wanted to!

Tara Gogoi Goes to Preschool!

2011-03-09T23:31:00.003+05:30

I know. She's not even two. You'd think from the way she's taking it though that she's been doing this forever and totally has it down. I signed her up for a two hour a day play school sort of thing near our house since I'm thinking of getting back to work and need her to get a little more used to being out and away from me. Knowing her though, I wasn't even worried that it's too soon. She's ready to be out and to meet more people and socialize. The limited pool of people she has to spread her magic within the house just doesn't cut it anymore. And sure enough, she just walked right into school and involved herself in everything that was going on despite the chaos and newness of it all. Yesterday, which was day one, I waited around near the office thinking I'll hear her crying any minute and will take her home since it might be too much to expect her to spend two hours there all at once. I waited two hours and the only time she cried was when I finally tried to take her home!

Back at home, Vir was extremely concerned that Tara now has to go to the big black hole called school and kept asking me if she was crying all the time at school. He can't comprehend that she really doesn't mind leaving me for a while.

I know she could throw me for a loop any minute (probably tomorrow since I've jinxed this by telling the internet all about it) and start screaming bloody murder at the sight of the school building, but for now I'm just so thankful that this has been so easy for her and for me. It's so great that she just handles things in her own little independent way and makes a place for herself wherever she goes. I hope she stays like this, and something tells me she will!

Parenting is tough

2011-03-08T00:33:00.003+05:30

I had a particularly difficult day with Vir and vented about parenting on Facebook today. I was advised to write about it here instead. That got me thinking so here I am.

What's tough about parenting? Let's see if I can even begin to put this in words. Never having a totally peaceful night's sleep either because the kids wake you up or because you expect to be woken up even if you aren't or simply because some percent of your brain is thinking about the kids even when you're asleep. Never being able to switch off completely and do or think nothing because your brain is permanently wired to the kids and some part of it just won't let go even for a minute. Not knowing if the decisions you make all the time are right or wrong for them and knowing that right or wrong - it's all you. They depend on you and if you're screwing up, you're screwing with them. And then knowing that you're screwing up a lot. Not knowing how to handle the daily ups and downs and the big and small disasters and messes that naughty hands and curious minds just know how to create. Being too tired to clean more poop. Fishing out miscellaneous items from the poop pot. Feeding fussy eaters. Knowing that they are so vulnerable and trying to keep them safe and healthy. Worrying worrying worrying about their health and nutrition. Dealing with loud noises and tantrums while trying to maintain some amount of sanity and even panache as the parent and responsible adult in the room. Setting a good example - that's a particularly tough one! Looking at them while they sleep and feeling guilty about everything you're doing and everything you're not doing for them.

See what I mean? I can't even begin to put it in words...I've written so many things already and could go on. But what's stopping me (after all the ranting) is the thing that I find toughest of all and that's the guilt of complaining about them. Because literally above every other thing is the fact that they're my greatest love and for them, it's all okay. Many times over. Besides, they're just so unbelievably cute. What sort of person would I be to complain about those little hampers of adorableness who can make you smile on the most grey of days and make everything feel better with one snotty, slobbery, just-for-you kiss?

So let's just pretend I said nothing about any of this, okay?

Finally! A Tara post!

2011-02-27T07:58:00.000+05:30

I really do let a lot of things go unrecorded with Tara just because I'm always running around these days and never have enough time for important things. She's growing up too fast, knows too much already, and is more and more fun everyday. It's true what they say about second kids - they just learn stuff themselves and you almost don't even know or realize how they're doing it. For example, even though she doesn't talk a lot yet, there's almost nothing you say to her that she doesn't understand. In English, Hindi, or Assamese. She follows instructions completely, even ones given in long sentences. Only if she's in the mood, of course! She does absolutely nothing she doesn't want to. And does absolutely everything she wants to. I feel like I'm at quite a loss with her sometimes because her mind is already so much stronger than mine. Vijay and I really have to develop a way to get across to her and be her parents! She'll teach us, I guess:-)

Anyway, although her spoken vocabulary is still limited, the two words she does know very well are "park" and "jhoola" or rather "dhoola." In Tara's world, the only reason anyone would get dressed and wear shoes is to go the park to sit on the dhoola. She's always ready to go downstairs and never ready to come back up, no matter how many hours she spends swinging away. The sadness with which she cries when she has to leave is true and heartfelt! And of course, without a well developed sense of time, she's ready, in fact begging to go downstairs at any time of day or night...so she looks at you when you get her into her night suit and asks you very matter of fact if you'd like to go to the park. No? Dhoola? No? Really? Huh...then why am I changing? Sleep? Strange.

For now at least, Tara is all about the simple pleasures. The joy of peeling a label off a bottle, taking batteries out of a remote, pulling wipes out of a box, switching on light switches, switching off ma's TV from the main power point, dropping things from the balcony and watching them go down - that beats material happiness, don't you think? And when she's in the mood for something with more of an edge to it, there's always the race of a chase, to which I'm mostly the unwilling participant. I'm often seen chasing a hysterically giggling toddler with a diaper or a fresh pair of pyjamas in my hands. Or with arms outstretched for a bottle of liquid headed floor-wards or a katori or spoon headed off the balcony.

Never a dull day in this household! She's sleeping as I write this, but the madness starts very soon:-)

Happy Birthday!

2011-02-20T00:13:00.000+05:30

Dear Vir,

After all the waiting and countdowns and dreaming about your birthday, you finally turned 4! I spent the eve of your birthday reliving the time that I was expecting you and the day that you were born. You really changed my life that day little one. I wonder if you'll ever realize how much you're responsible for shaping me. Almost as much as I am for shaping you, I guess.

You've had one hell of a year. Your third birthday was in nana nani's house when we were waiting to leave for the US. I remember your excitement about going there and your struggle to settle into everything new that was thrown at you when you arrived. I still have a video of you saying, in perfect Hindi, that you don't like America at all. That may have been the last sentence you spoke in Hindi by the way! The speed with which you picked up English is absolutely amazing. What is even funnier is that you refuse to go back to Hindi and just recently told your dad that he's Assam but you're English!

Just when you were settling into your new life and school, we were all thrown by your nani's illness and life changed very suddenly for you. I'm sorry that I had to leave you the way I did. But you really did me proud the way you handled yourself those two weeks without me. You were super then and also throughout the next few difficult months. We really did put you through a lot of changes for a not even 4 year old kiddo and again, you made us proud.

Anyway, you're back now in your beloved Vatika City. I won't lie to you - I'm really waiting for you to start school. A 4 year old boy can really tire his mom you know! When you're not making me scream in frustration at your antics though, you're really amazing me with how much you know, the way you think, the way you reason, and the way your argue your point of view. I think your ability to think things through also makes you very fair minded and generous. As much as a 4 year old can possibly be anyway:-) And what an amazing brother you're becoming. You really do love that little brat - she makes you happy and she adores you too. She copies your every move you know. We could really use that to our advantage, don't you think? Perhaps you could stop teaching her how to spit, scream, and make me mad?

Oh well, at least try!

I hope you have an amazing year ahead, my little superman. It's going to be a big one, especially since you're starting big school! So go forth and conquer and know that you make us happy every single day.

Love,
Mamma

So this is how it's going to be!

2011-02-17T08:01:00.000+05:30

Me: Alright Vir, time to go to bed.

Vir: Noooooo. Nahiiii.

Tara: (always the copycat) Nahiiiii.

Vir: Good job Tara. Say no to mamma. High five! You're my best friend and my girl!

(Big hugs all around while mamma tries to hide a smile.)

My little warrior

2010-12-23T05:29:00.000+05:30

Vir: Mamma, if America is in trouble, I will save it. I will run into the elevator and press the emergency button!

Wouldn't we all be happier if that's how wars were fought:-)?

2010-12-22T19:23:00.000+05:30

In my husband's family, they say that you can tell what a radish will grow up to be like just by looking at it's first two leaves. If this is true, our little girl radish means trouble. She's only 19 months and already has "leaving the house in a huff" on her cap of feathers. No, really. She got mad at me for not giving her ice cream when and where she wanted it, cried for a couple of minutes because I walked away uncaringly, then made a quick decision, got up and pouted at us, and swiftly walked all the way across the long hallway in our apartment, opened the door, and left.

It was one of those I've-had-enough-of-this-bullshit-walkouts. From a 19 month old baby.

Vijay is seriously worried. I just think this is hilarious. Of course, we'll need some sort of parenting strategy with this little firecracker. Let me go and google toddler walkouts and how to survive them now.

Social Butterfly

2010-12-15T18:59:00.000+05:30

I went to Barnes and Noble with Tara yesterday. It wasn't supposed to be an outing really...I just had to return something and head out. But it was so cold outside that I just couldn't muster the courage to get out of the building once I had entered it! So I decided to hang out there - it doesn't take too much convincing to keep me at a bookshop anyway. I picked up a book to browse and went with Tara to the kids section, where they have some seating and place for kids to roam around. The book turned out to be very interesting and soon I was pretty much the only mom in that area who wasn't reading to her kid or running after her and talking in a cute voice to everyone around. This left Tara to fend for herself and I must say, she made me proud. She just headed off on her own to mingle with the crowd. She went right up to where a couple of kids were sitting and expressed interest in what they were up to. Then she joined them on the little ledge where they were sitting, and even invited a couple of other curious onlookers to join her. Soon, she had picked out her favorites and collected a little coterie of kids around her. At one point, she walked up to a baby who was sitting on his mom's lap and started a "conversation." The best moment was when this lady, in a different accent that I didn't think Tara would understand said, "Hi! Would you like to meet the baby? This is Jack...and what's your name?" Without a moment's hesitation and very confidently, my little one said, "Tara."

I just sat behind my book, beaming.

If she could talk...

2010-12-12T19:12:00.000+05:30

If Tara could speak fluently right now, I suspect these are some things she's say:

1. I love you, bhai.
2. What's in the fridge?
3. Gosh, that pantry cupboard is so much fun. Let's raid!
4. How about a dishwasher exploration?
5. What's in the oven? I love that thing.
6. I like cars as much as bhai does. Stop buying me dolls, please.
7. Can we go and buy some cars?
8. What's for snack time?
9. Isn't it snack time again?
10. Yes, I know I already had a snack. What's for snack time?
11. God bless cows that say moo and give us milk.
12. Why do people keep talking about my cheeks? Is this a good thing?
13. Can we go and buy some blueberries and strawberries, please?
14. Mom, time to update your collection of songs on your ipod. I need more to dance on.
15. Wait, let me help you with that computer....you just have to bang your fist on the keys a couple of times...like that...see?
16. Bhai is in the bathroom again. Time to go help. Be right back.
17. Why don't I get to go to school?
18. I like pretty shoes.
19. I like pretty clothes too.
20. And lotions and creams.
21. Oooh...and handbags!
22. I also really, really like toilet paper.
23. What's on the food network?
24. When I grow up, I will not ignore baby tantrums like you do. Hmpfh.
25. I want what I want and I want it now.
26. We both know I can smile my way through this mess. See? :-)

Nothing matters when we're dancing

2010-12-05T09:29:00.000+05:30

We took the kids to see Santa land and a puppet show of Miracle on 34th Street at the Herald Square Macy's today. Let me just tell you: BIG MISTAKE. I really wish I had asked someone's advice on this before we headed out. I just cannot even believe the number of people that exist in New York, and I'm from India so that's saying something. And what I don't get even more is why all these people are always wherever we choose to go. It happened with Toysrus and now it happened again with Macy's! Literally, everyone in the world was at Macy's this afternoon. And they all decided to stand in line to see Santa at the same time. The only smart thing we did today was to not stand in that line. One look at that line and we turned around and started running in the opposite direction, which was really hard to do because we kept bumping into other aspirants trying to make it to the meet Santa line.

The other smart thing we did was to get tickets to the puppet show. It was really great and I definitely recommend it (but be warned that you have to go through an actual sea of people to get to the puppet theater). The not smart thing we did was get late to the show so we got to sit all the way at the back and the kids really couldn't see all of what was going on. That really made Vir mad and he refused to enjoy any of it, especially if he noticed either Vijay or me looking at him. When we weren't looking, he did enjoy it a little bit. But nothing could have stopped Tara from enjoying herself. Because if there's music involved, you can bet that Tara will be dancing, whether she can see what's going on or not. The kind of music, number of people around, and general atmosphere and context are completely irrelevant details. So she was dancing and clapping all through the show today, even though she had woken up hungry from her nap just minutes before the show started so I expected her to be cranky. Seeing her swaying along to the music and clapping at all the right places really made some of the misery of today's little expedition worthwhile.

Although I have to say, the next time I want to see her dance, I'll just hand her my ipod (she's the one who pretty much controls it these days anyway now that she has figured out how to switch it on). Because there is no way I'm ever going back to the madhouse that is Macy's at Christmas time. If I'm tempted to inflict pain on myself, I'll just make an appointment for a full body wax instead!

2010-12-03T09:03:00.001+05:30

Titanic was on TV the other day and we made the mistake of not changing the channel with Vir in the room, so he ended up watching it a little bit. And given that he's hugely fascinated with cruise ships these days because we see a lot of them go by our window which is right on the water (oh my God it's really awesome and I can never quite get used to the fact that I really do live on-the-water!), I guess he really paid attention to the movie. I didn't realize this till he started asking me questions that I wasn't really sure how to answer. God bless his little child's brain though, because here's how our conversation went:

Vir: Mamma, do you know the Titanic?

Me: Yes, I know about that (playing it safe so far)

Vir: It was on the Atlantic Ocean...and it was going to park right by the Intrepid

Me: That's right! Who told you all that?

Vir: Papa did. And do you know a big iceberd hit the Titanic?

Me: Yes (oops, don't like where this is headed)

Vir: Then what happened?

Me: (No idea what to do, so try to stick with the truth given general parenting philosophy) The ship broke and went into the ocean, Vir.

Vir: So did the people on the ship meet Spongebob Squarepants when they went down into the ocean?

Gulp and thankful sigh! I would have had no idea how to handle this conversation if it had taken a more serious turn. What a good thing Spongebob lives in the ocean, eh?

Well it is thingsgiving after all

2010-11-26T01:55:00.000+05:30

We've had a super crazy week so far because both the kids got sick at the same time and when kids get sick, crazy begins. The week has been a blur of ER visits, high and never ending fevers, hopping visits and long waits at pharmacies, and lots of doses of lots of medicines. Luckily, we're not dealing with anything more serious than the flu and though the kids are miserable and so are we, all in all we're all okay and have a lot to be thankful for.

For one moment last night I realized that things were perfect: we were back from the ER, the kids had been given their medication and were asleep with no fevers, Vijay was getting them to bed, and I was sitting in my bed with a new, unopened MacBook (my new prized possession on which I now sit and type and which is a present from dear husband and brother in an effort to get me to write more!) on my lap and a piece of really good chocolate in my hand. For that moment, I give thanks and more thanks.

While we're talking about thanksgiving, Vir is really worried about today. He thinks that since it's thingsgiving day, someone is going to swoop into the house at some point and ask him to give away his things. So every so often during the day, he's been coming up to me and whining, "....but mamma....I don't want to give away my things. I want to keep my toys. I only want to give my toys to myself. I don't waaaannnaaa...!" The mean mom in me hasn't told him that no one is coming to take his stuff away. I've just been nodding noncommittally and saying "It's okay baby....it's always nice to share, isn't it?" You should see the panic in his eyes when I say that!

Yes, I know I'll probably go to hell.

Super cute errors!

2010-11-13T08:38:00.001+05:30

To me while I was watching a Harry Potter movie: "Mamma, are you watching Harry Bottom?"

Singing along to a Sheryl Crow song: "My little superstar...honey you break my plant...."

Tee hee I say:-)

Girly Girl

2010-11-13T00:32:00.001+05:30

So it looks like my daughter is going to beat the odds presented by having me as a mother and be girly after all! Anyone who knows me is quite familiar with my never changing jeans and t-shirt "outfits" and is always surprised by my once-in-a-while-burst-of-femininity-wearing-of-dangly-earrings. And it's not by design, but just because that Tara also has more jeans than dresses. I'm going to be forced to shop differently for her though, because this little one already knows what she likes and what makes her look pretty as she's twirling around showing herself off! It's amazing that she knows without me pointing it out when something in her outfit is new...even if it's just a t-shirt or onesie. She goes right up to her dad to show it off as soon as she's done being dressed...complete with the little twirl, sideways tilt, and lifting on toes!

And you know what else is girly? She offers food and water to her dolls, pats them lovingly, and puts them off to sleep. In all his almost 4 years, Vir has never thought to feed anyone! It's really interesting to see the differences in them emerge this way. Of course, there's lots of non girly stuff in my grubby little toddler as well. The trail of mess and destruction that she leaves behind her wherever she walks, the way she manages to look dirty as soon as she's out of her bath, the way she zooms her cars and kut kut kuts her helicopters, and of course the farting and snorting!

Part girly and mother-y and showoffy and part grubby and dirty and boy-ey, she's definitely turning out to be one of a kind. And adding a one of a kind flavor to our days. If I haven't said this already, I've thought it a hundred times...I just can't have enough of this little one. Don't tell her I said that though...she thinks enough of herself as it is:-)

Weekends are just not what they used to be...

2010-11-08T06:53:00.001+05:30

Why do parents like to torture themselves so? It was a perfect Sunday to laze around the house, maybe watch a movie or two, perhaps even take an afternoon nap and then order takeout for dinner. But what did we do? Packed both kids for a cold day out and took them across the river to Times Square so they could see the dinosaur and ride on the ferris wheel at Toysrus. Though I guess we weren't the only ones who were out to torture themselves in this weird and painful way. Almost every other parent in the tri state area seemed to have had the same idea AT THE SAME TIME. The consolation was that they were all equally unhappy. Everywhere we walked, we heard snippets of the same conversations...

"...if you ask for one more thing, you're in serious tro..."
"...this is the last warning....5 more minutes and we're out of here...."
"hon....we really need to get out of here!"
".....nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo"
"screeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeem"

...and so on. There were basically two groups of people in that store:

Parents: Inwardly and sometimes outwardly groaning and thinking what the hell bit them that they decided to take this on.
Children: Running around trying to get as much free play time in magic land as their parents could live through and screaming at the slightest hint that some limits may be placed on them.

So again, why do we do this to ourselves? It's an easy answer, right? Because it makes them smile and we like to see them smile. More than we like our afternoon naps.

Sigh. Next Sunday: The Children's Museum of Manhattan.

Yoohoo

2010-10-26T20:50:00.001+05:30

Hello! My name is Tara. It's been a while since my mom said anything about me here, so I'm taking matters into my own hands. I have a list of things I think you should know about me. In no particular order, here goes:

I'm a troublemaker. Let's just get that clear at the outset. I love trouble. I love making trouble. I love getting my brother into trouble and I love seeing my mom's face when she sees the consequences of this trouble that I so love to make. (She's funny when she's mad.)
I have a really loud voice. I mean really. You don't know loud until you've heard me roar. Ask my parents. They can hear the echo of my voice in their sleep after they've spent a day with me.
I think the bathroom is the most interesting room in the house. There's a tub that is routinely filled up with water and bubbles and bath toys. There's a roll of toilet paper that, did you know can be unrolled almost endlessly? And best of all, there's a big round thing with water in it that they call a "pot" that is great for dumping little knick knacks into. Like the other day when I threw my toys into it...they fell with a little plop. It was lots of fun. It was a little difficult to fit the toys in since my big brother was using the pot at the time, but that's what made it even more fun!
I LOVE blueberries. With a passion. The more blueberries there are in the world, the better the place will be. I think the reason people are often unhappy is because they've run out of blueberries. I'm not unhappy because there are always blueberries in my house.
I can point to my tummy, head, and bottoms, and close my eyes on request. I can also roar like a tiger, bark like a dog, kut-kut-kut like a helicopter, and whistle like a cooker. My talents are many. But I don't like the cooker. There are things about it I don't understand.
My brother gets to do this fun thing that my mom calls "timeout." Recently I got in on that too because I messed with my mom's ipod. It was fun. You get to go stand in this corner. Aaannndd....that's it I guess. Hmmm...why did I think it was so much fun? Maybe it gets old.

Anyway, so that's a little introduction. Next time, we'll talk about other fun things like the dishwasher and my mom's underwear closet. Oooh...and remind me to tell you a great new way to get your older sibling in trouble while looking totally innocent yourself. Very handy.

Bye now!
Love,
Tara

Definitely a writer in the making!

2010-10-12T00:00:00.000+05:30

First it was the picking up of the pen at her Anna Prasanna. And now this! My little Tara is hardly talking at all even though she's 17 months old already. So obviously, I get very excited at every syllable she chooses to utter now. Imagine my joy then, when the latest clear thing she has said is....wait for it....COMMA!

Imagine the possibilities...what will she say next? My bet is on EXCLAMATION!

Conversations

2010-10-09T22:58:00.000+05:30

Latest funny development: Vir's conversations with things. Here's a sample!

Looking at the Halloween lights on the Empire State Building: "Oh, Empire State Building! You have your orange lights on! I love when you do that!"

Playing with this shadow in the car: "Sunshine! Don't do that....why are you doing that?"

Looking at a British Airways plane taxiing on the runway: "Oh British Airways, I love you so much. I want to be on you, not on Air India."

2010-08-18T00:47:00.001+05:30

Tara! I haven't forgotten you...as if you'd let me! You won't remember this time my little one, but I can tell you that these last few months have been unplanned and unimagined and if I haven't recorded your miracles as they happened, it hasn't been because they have been unnoticed. You turned one surrounded by people who love you and will always be happy when you're happy. You started walking in the home of your nana and nani, bringing joy and excitement when it was needed the most. Your first words - kaka (khana), nana, mamma, and papa, are thrilling and I can't wait to hear everything you have to say. You've also hit a rather unfortunate milestone by fracturing a bone since I last updated this space...let's hope we don't see any more of that. But you've been super brave and I wish I had your ability to accept and adapt to things you cannot change.

Of course, you're also a lot more of a monster than you were a couple of months ago. Gone is my quiet little baby who sat around with a bowl of cheerios all morning. In her place is a toddler with an agenda to cover as much ground as possible during the day, do as much damage as possible, make as much noise as possible, and get her brother into as much trouble as possible while maintaining the false image of an innocent and harmless baby in the woods. You're not really fooling anyone, not even your beloved nana! We know exactly how naughty you are and also that you've barely touched your potential for mischief yet. But that's exactly what we love about you and that's exactly what makes this family smile these days. Keep up the good work little one and keep some antics in store for your dad who is missing out and will have lots to catch up on:-)

Love always,
Ma-maaaaa

If he asks you, Superman does love daal!

2010-07-30T01:20:00.001+05:30

Vir: Once there was a baby shark in an aquarium. He was very hungry. His mamma went to him and said what happened fish? Baby shark said I'm very hungry. So the mamma shark went to the big sea.

Me: And then what happened? This is a great story!

Vir: Hmm?

Me: You're telling me a story, right?

Vir: Yeah. Oh then....the mamma shark got the baby shark some meat!!!!!!!! (exclamations owned by storyteller)

And that's the exciting end to Vir's first ever coherent piece of original fiction! This is a very important development. Until now, his stories have typically taken sudden and very unrealistic turns. For example:

"...and the rabbit was crossing the river. And suddenly Superman came in and flew towards the rabbit and picked him up and flew into the sky!!!!! And then a car came and landed on the road and there was an askadent."

"I was going there and then there was a big fire and I flew to a lake and picked it up and threw it on the fire and I was so strong!!! And there was a car and another car and a Honda city and an askadent."

So Superman is obviously the latest obsession. He's Superman. I'm Spiderman. Tara is Supergirl. And there are a variety of Badmen throughout the day, including me when I tell him to do something he doesn't like. My dad seems to have started this obsession and he's paying for it dearly because he now has to spend hours (I really literally mean hours) making up Superman stories to tell him. You can tell he's reached the bottom of his story trunk because they're getting more and more boring. Some of them could really make you slip into a little Superman story induced short coma. I'm pretty sure that has happened to mom and me at least a couple of times. I know because I woke up dazed once and the last thing I remembered was Superman wanting to go to the bathroom and Vir not wanting to go. Or something like that.

The upside is that we're using Superman to great advantage. Vir loves doing stuff around the house now. If you want him to go throw something in the trash for example, you just need to give him a couple of seconds to put on his Superman outfit first so he can fly to the trash can. Or you can get him to eat his bowl of daal because that's obviously Superman's favorite food. One day of course, he'll know. But hopefully he would have consumed a fair bit of protein by then and Superman would have done his job to help this little kid:-)

My little elf

2010-07-27T23:14:00.000+05:30

"Mamma, I'm so helpful. I can cut your shirt into half so you can wear it and Tara can wear one too!"

(Note to self: do not leave scissors lying around. Might cut baby. Or baby might cut shirt for other baby.)

In a generous mood

2010-07-26T22:07:00.000+05:30

Me to my mom: I think I'm going to go out for a bit...I need to go and get my eyebrows done.
Vir: No no mamma... when you and Tara and I go back to America, I can buy you some eyebroles.

Hello!

2010-07-18T23:05:00.000+05:30

So this is the longest that I've been away from this blog. We're going through the toughest phase we've seen so far and I've been terribly overwhelmed by what's going on in life right now. So far I've been thinking I can't possibly write about the kids till I've addressed how I'm feeling myself, either to myself or on this space. But perhaps that's not true. There's no reason for me to stop writing entirely, especially since it's the kids who're doing such a great job of getting us through this phase. I have never been more thankful to God for them as I am right now. So I'm going to do my best to keep at this blog up and about. The kids are definitely still doing their best to keep me and my family up and about:-)

More stories to follow, but here's one from Vir for now on a day when he was being particularly cranky and grumpy, more so because I was ignoring him:

Me: Vir, what's going on? What's bothering you?
Vir (without a moment's hesitation): You. You are bothering me, mamma.

Hasn't learnt to mince his words yet:-)

One of life's big questions

2010-05-08T08:20:00.000+05:30

Me: Vir, do you want to say thank you to God before you go to sleep?
Vir: Thank you God for my family. Thank you for the food I eat. Thank you for the museum. Thank you for Tara's birthday.
Me: Is there anything else?
Vir: No.
Me: What about your new sunglasses?
Vir: Thank you for my sunglasses.
Me: Anything else?
Vir: Thank you for my potty and susu.
Me: Okay Vir.
Vir: Mamma...bhagwanji potty aur susu bhi dete hain?
Me: ...(wondering how to take this forward)
Vir: Dete hain?
Me: Okay...haan Vir, bhagwanji dete hain.
Vir: Toh phir woh itna smelly kyun hota hai?

Note to God: this one's for you. Please respond:-)

Fuzzy little snuggle puppy

2010-05-04T10:00:00.002+05:30

Ever since Vir has started to spend more time at school, I've started to spend so much more time with Tara. Oddly or not, I haven't really ever spent quality time with her until now because my attention has always been divided between the two with a pretty heavy bias towards you know who. (Tara, if you happen to read this when you grow up, please know that this was never intentional. Maybe one day you'll have two kids and then you'll know what I mean about the second one. Your nani tried to tell me the same thing about me, but I never quite believed her until I had you!)

Anyway, the point is that now that we're spending a lot more time together, I'm even more blown away by how stupendously cute this little one is. She just takes my breath away. She always wakes up with a smile - for me and anyone else she happens to meet. She just loves to laze around in bed once she's awake rolling all over the place and snuggling into any corner of me that she can find. Even when I get her out of bed, she waits patiently for what she knows is coming - her favorite cheerios in a bowl that she can then spend the next half hour patiently munching as she readies herself for her day, thinking about all the must be done. The patience has a limit of course...if I don't give her some munchies soon enough, she gets pretty dramatic about reminding me by throwing her head all the way forward and screaming bloody murder. As long as she's well fed though, she's super pleasant. She plays around by herself for so long that I begin to miss her sometimes. But all I have to do to get her attention is to open the dishwasher. Or the bathroom door. She will literally show up from any corner of the house for either of these things. And if I catch her going towards one of these things, or towards a plug point, or the humidifier, which she loves with a passion, she quickly picks up her pace in a mad dash to get to her destination before I get to her. I actually feel bad stopping her from going into the loo because I want her to have that successful mad dash and the thrill of making it before I do! She's super fun to talk to now as well...she says ah-haa more beautifully than anyone else I know. That's the limit of her vocabulary for now, but we're working on it. She almost says dudu as well...I'm pretty sure I wasn't mistaken when I heard her say that. I'll report as it happens!

I had completely forgotten what fun almost one year olds are...with so much to explore and do and learn and play and munch and smile about. There's a book I'm reading to her these days in which the protagonist is a fuzzy little snnuggle puppy. I can tell you, she's it! The book has totally been written for her:-)

My dad's a superhero!

2010-04-26T08:42:00.004+05:30

In conversation with Vijay:

Vir: Papa, pata hai, I'm Spiderman!
Vijay: Really! Wow!
Vir: And Ishaan is Superman.
Vijay: That's nice.
Vir: And William is Superman too.
Vijay: Cool!
Vir: And I'm also Batman!
Vijay: Batman is really cool, Vir! And who am I?
Vir: You're a policeman.

:-)

Everything's on the record!

2010-04-19T08:27:00.003+05:30

Vir: Mamma, pata hai meri class mein ek plant bada ho raha hai. Jab woh bada
ho jaayega, toh hum usko khayenge. (Referring to a plant that the kids helped
with and that is now growing on their windowsill)
Me: How nice Vir! Tune help kari thi na usko banane mein?
Vir: Nahin, maine help nahin ki.
Me: Kyun?
Vir: Maine seed nahin pakdi thi
Me: Kyun?
Vir: Kyunki main ro raha tha
Me: Kyun?
Vir (shrugging): Kyunki aap nahin thay

So matter of fact! And I realized that this whole thing referred to his first day of school, when I thought he was too uninvolved and traumatized to notice what was going on anyway. Apparently, he stashes away everything into his little brain for later use and discussion. I'm racking my brains to remember if I've said anything inappropriate in front of him in the last...let's see...couple of years.

Me? Inappropriate? Naaah!

2010-04-12T10:36:00.006+05:30

Dear Vir,

As we remind each other whenever it suits us, you're now three years old. That's pretty grown up. Yet, it appears that you're not grown up enough to really know that sometimes, the things you do cause me some amount of stress. For example, it's really not fun for anyone except you when you push your little sister when she's sitting and playing by herself. It's also not funny when you take the cookie on which her morning happiness depends and fling it across the room. Or worse, take a bite of it right in front of her. She finds it very confusing when her cookie becomes smaller so quickly. She also doesn't appreciate the constant nips and scratches she gets from you. Of course, I don't need to write you a letter to say all this. We live in the same house. I could just tell you and that would be more efficient. But that's the thing. I have told you. I'm not really keeping count but the number of times I've told you has definitely hit the high thousands. So I'm guessing that's not working. That's why I thought of writing to you. I guess one day you'll read this, and the way you're going, you'll probably still be pushing Tara or tricking her out of her cookies. So this letter will be timely no matter when you read it.

Meanwhile, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to finally understand that you're, regardless of how grown up I say you are, just a three year old. And while you're unbelievable cute and can pull at my heartstrings in a way that nothing else can, you're also very annoying a lot of the times. But that's what three year olds do - they bug their parents. And it's my job as your mother to deal with that. Not your job. So I'm going to take what you throw at me and do my best to smile while at the same time gently yet firmly guiding you towards not bugging me. And you'll just be you. Sometimes annoying, sometimes leading my blood pressure to spike, sometimes really testing your little sister's strength and patience, but always always the most lovable little boy in my world. Deal? Alright then.

Love,
Mamma

First splashes

2010-04-06T01:08:00.004+05:30

There's a small window of time in a baby's life when he or she enjoys splashing water because splashing water is fun, not because creating more work for your frustrated mother by splashing water is fun. There's a big difference if you're that frustrated mother.

After months of just sitting in her tub slightly dumbly while I give her a bath, Tara has finally figured out that water is huge amounts of fun. She seemed to get it in one big flash this afternoon when, after maybe one or two tentative little splashes, she went all out in the bathtub. I had a pretty overexcited and aggressive little baby in the tub after that!

This is very exciting for me. I can now go out and get bath toys and bubbles all over again! I really miss that...of course, I stopped doing that for Vir more than a year ago because fun as it may be for him to watch my face when I walk into a totally drenched bathroom, cleaning that up is just not my favorite thing to do. So Tara, enjoy this while you can, because with a mother like me and a baby like you (I know you're going to be no angel in the bathtub a year from now), it's not likely to last!

Questions from a three year old

2010-04-04T18:38:00.004+05:30

"Mamma...America mein curtains kyun nahin hote? Blinds kyun hote hain?"

"Papa...fighter plane mein se smoke kyun aati hai? Normal plane se kyun
nahin aati?"

"Mamma...jab main table hilata hun, toh uske upar wala lamp kyun hilta
hai?"

It's amazing the details he observes now. Thank God for the internet. Next time he asks me something I don't know, I'll pretend to be too busy on my computer to answer immediately, frantically pull up Wikipedia, then turn around and knowingly explain the working of aeroplanes or rockets or whatever else his little brain wants to know, thereby maintaining my 'mamma-knows-everything-I-must-always-listen-to-mamma-reputation.'

I can't believe I think this way though - trying to impress my own silly little son through pretend Wikipedia induced knowledge. I bet Wikipedia can't cure such madness. For now though, I'll be happy if it can tell me why there are blinds in America instead of curtains.

2010-04-01T09:11:00.009+05:30

Let's see. Over the last month, a million things have happened.

1. The Gogoi family unit of Vijay, me, Vir and Tara has moved from Gurgaon to New Jersey. Sans Baggdu. (Plonk. Baggdu, if you happen to log on to this site, we miss you all the time.)

2. Vir has somehow wrapped his head around the geographical distance between nana nani's house, which he calls Dehradun, Vatika City, and America. He's fuzzy on the details, but he knows that we're now far away.

3. Vir has started school here! He's out of the house from morning to evening, which is a first for him and for us. Let's just say it's been very interesting. He is more or less settled in but is hanging on to some things to assert his independence and show that he can make choices too. For example, he chooses not to eat at school. Or go to the bathroom at school. I feel terrible about this, but also know that he's happy when he's there and he enjoys his new friends and teachers.

4. My little Haryanvi is picking up spoken English. It's hilarious. He now says things like, "I take this car home. Tara so happy. My parents so happy." And "Look at me. I'm all wet." And "This is break." We love it and can't get enough.

5. Tara has no idea that things have changed so much. But that's because she's been really busy practicing her new skills. She can now point to her tummy, baaah like a tiger (of course a tiger says baaah - that's all you can hear at the zoo if you go), throw flying kisses like a cheap roadside romeo, clap when she's happy with herself, and sway from side to side to show she's having fun. She's also crawling like a pro and has covered every inch of our new apartment by now. Especially every inch of the bathroom, which she loves. She will literally come running from anywhere as soon as she hears the bathroom door open. I don't know what both the kids like about loos in general. In her case, I suspect it's her recent discovery of the joys of toilet paper that drives her. I found her halfway through a gleeful unrolling of a fresh roll yesterday. She's even reminded Vir how much fun this used to be, and he's now rewound to when he was less than 2 and used to do this! Needless to say, we spend a lot of time rolling up unrolled rolls of toilet paper.

6. Tara has also discovered her love for cabinets, the diswasher, and the refrigerator. So, when we're not rolling up toilet paper, we're pulling her out of cabinets, or getting her unstuck from the dishwasher racks.

Okay, so that's not really a million things. It's only 6 when you write it down. But it's made up of a million smiles and laughs at the antics of the little brats, a million doubts and uncertainties about whether we're doing the right things for them, especially with this big move and all, and a million moments of just being together and happy. So you see, a million things have happened! I will try to remember some specifics and add to this list. Or just start from a million and one now that I've started updating this blog again:0)

On a roll!

2010-03-07T00:21:00.002+05:30

My mom's cleaning lady, Leela, had no idea what she was starting when she taught Tara the "itne bade ho jaao" trick (see below). Addicted to the attention and non stop encore requests that her performances get her, Tara has increased her repertoire to include several new and adorable acts. Give her just a little signal that you're interested and she'll perform them all for you quite willingly. The untiring little trooper does not care how many times you have presented your request before. She understands your need for cuteness and she knows how to deliver. So the opening act is "itne bade ho jaao" and is followed up with a gleeful clapping of the hands, a look at the fan with big rounded eyes and a big "o" of a mouth that tries to say fan but manages "ppppppfffffffaaaa," and then a wave goodbye. Sometimes, she'll even pick up the phone and put it to her ear when you say hello. No surprises then that she has super TRP ratings as of now and is topping the charts here at the grandparents' house!

It's amazing, isn't it? The rest of us can clap and say "ppppfffffaaaa" till the cows come home and noone will care. But this little one is running full houses on her act and its her 3rd week running. I'm pretty sure she'll keep adding to her act and I'll be sure to report on her continuing success with the admiring public:-).

The Entertainer!

2010-02-23T22:48:00.003+05:30

Tara has learnt her first trick! And what a super cute one too! Look:

Us: "Tara...kitne bade ho jaao?"

Tara: Itnaaaaaaay

Lessons from Disney

2010-02-23T13:02:00.006+05:30

Vir: Mamma pata hai...Micky Mouse apna sara kaam khud karta hai...
Me: Really?!
Vir: Aur uski mamma - Minnie Mouse - usko help karti hai.

Lots happening

2010-02-14T21:18:00.011+05:30

So there's a lot going on in our little world right now and I have to say the little ones are dealing with the change really well. We're all making a big move all the way from Gurgaon to the US for about a year...but we're doing it in bits and pieces. Which means that while Vijay is already there trying to set things up, the tots and I are with my parents enjoying blissful blissful blissful pampering that, at least once you're married and have kids, can only happen when you go back home. Vir has a vague understanding of what's going on and will tell you very confidently that he's going to America in a plane. Of course, he's very excited about the plane journey (his mom on the other hand is dreading it immensely). But he's much more excited about the cab ride to the airport which MUST be in an Indigo Manza in Style as he puts it. (I didn't even know there is such a car and actually corrected him the first time he said it, only to feel quite silly when I saw the ad on the TV later).

Meanwhile, he's going to a new school while we're with my parents. He doesn't like it as much as his school in Gurgaon. I'm not surprised since I think this particular school takes itself a little too seriously, as do a lot of schools in Dehradun. My little three year old comes home from school with a notebook and homework!! I didn't even realize he was getting homework till I got a complaint from his teacher that he wasn't completing his work. (Oops...first homework ever goes unnoticed and not done. Bad bad bad.) He's also started saying things like, "finger on your lips" and "ma'am" which sounds incredibly cute coming from him! All in all, I'm really happy he's going. I guess some discipline won't hurt him of all people.

Tara, of course, is taking everything beautifully in her stride. She normally doesn't let little details like change of location and uncertainty about the future bother her as long as the really important stuff like food and unending attention is taken care of. With the doting gramps around, neither of these things is a problem. My mom absolutely loves to feed Tara bits and pieces of everything we eat, and my dad spends all his time playing with her, taking her for walks, and generally being silly for her entertainment. She is growing wonderfully too and on her way to meeting several new milestones...crawling and standing being the latest ones. She's not an expert at these right now, but is getting lots of practice and will be there soon.

And as for me, I'm relaxing and exercising and indulging myself with long luxurious baths. The aim is to store up on relaxation now so I can draw on these memories when I'm in snowed in into a small apartment in a new place and the kids are driving me up the wall. Cute images of the kids in my parents' arms and myself soaking my feet in warm, fizzy water will certainly come in handy when I'm asking myself, not for the first time, why this is all happening to me! Seriously though, I'm looking forward to the change from Gurgaon - I think it will be refreshing for all of us, and I look forward to hearing the twang that will most certainly develop in Vir's accent, which is so far pure Haryanvi.

For now, I'm just praying I survive the long flight with the two of them! I'll be sure to update if I manage that:-)

Happy Birthday!

2010-02-01T10:44:00.005+05:30

In the last three years: I have been the happiest that I could be. I have been the most frustrated that I think I'll ever be. I've looked upon my sleeping little baby and thought a better child was never born. I've been defeated by one of his terrible tantrums and wondered what I ever did to deserve this devil. I've been touched to tears by his hugs and his i-love-you-mammas. I've been driven to tears by his screaming. I've been desperate to break free of his constant dependence on me. I've been gratified by the same dependence that I want to break. I've stared at his sleeping face dreaming dreams for what he will be. I've known that he'll be what he'll be and my role is not to make anything of him but to be there no matter what. I've held his clingy little hand on his first day of school and then left his hand as he settled in and went running through the gates everyday. I've comforted him a hundred times through a hundred crises from losing a toy to falling off the bed to getting a blood test to not getting to wear his favorite sweater. I've caused him to cry a hundred times by being the root of several of his crises. I've just known what's right for him in some cases. In others, I've stressed and struggled over the smallest decisions wondering if the choices I make will shape him forever. I've been through worry, happiness, sadness, warmth, frustration, despair, panic, hysterical laughter, hysterical sobbing, love, annoyance, and all sorts of other emotionally draining opposites sometimes all in one day.

I had no clue what I was in for when the doctor told me to open my eyes and say hello to my son three years ago. In fact, I thought I had been through the most difficult phase and things would just sort of flow along now that labor and delivery was over. After all, that was the last chapter in all my pregnancy books! Blissfully ignorant silly new mom, laughed my new son...we have loads of adventures to go through together...lots of chapters that your pregnancy books didn't know to write. Of course, even now, I'm just a blissfully ignorant silly mom to a three year old thinking we've been through a lot already but this time, I think I have a hint of things to come. With his little sister in tow, I think they have many plans for how to add wrinkles to my face!

Do they teach this stuff at cute school?

2010-01-12T23:01:00.003+05:30

Bringing his toy grey BMW SUV to me:

"Mamma...yeh bee-em-dubloo hai?"
Me: hmm
"Par mamma...yeh bee-em-de-grey nahi hai?"

I guess BMW didn't think their brand name could be thus diluted by a three year old!

My little one can eat - officially!

2009-12-30T18:51:00.003+05:30

Tara had her Anna Prasanna today. Though I have been giving her solids for the last 2 months or so, it's only legal now that this wonderful little ceremony has been performed. Her aita made her a bowl of special payesh (I'll never actually pronouce this correctly and I can see your disapproving head shake, Vijay) which she was fed by family and loved ones as she sat on my lap dressed in her best frock and wearing all the gold jewellery she owns. She was beautifully behaved - she actually sat right through the naam, which is an incredibly long and fairly noisy thing. It's done by Assamese pandits who, I suspect, don't know much about the attention span of the average 7 month old baby judging by the sense of urgency they were displaying this morning. They really lucked out today though, because Tara was the perfect participant at the puja. She didn't even have little whispered conversations or take pictures guiltily like the rest of us did and will probably even be able to tell you what the pandits were saying.

My favorite part of the ceremony was when we presented Tara with a thali laid out with some items, each signifying her future interests and abilities. The options were: a book, a pen, some gold, some money, and some earth on a leaf. I actually held my breath as she reached out toward the thali...she started heading for the book but then changed her mind and went for the pen instead. Once she had decided on that, she stuck to it and went for the same thing even on later attempts (which we made just to negate any bias because of the pen's proximity to her on the thali. It's all very scientific, this whole thing.) I'm happy to announce that we have a writer in the making. At the very least, at least her school homework will always get done, right?

Write away, little Tara. I hope your words are always true and that they bring you happiness. I promise to read and cherish everything you let me read:-)

Who read him his rights?!

2009-12-16T09:26:00.003+05:30

So I was scolding him for not telling me in time that he had to go to the bathroom and he knew he was in trouble...

Me: Vir, tune kyun aisa kiya...bol.
Vir: (looking down) Main kuch nahin boloonga....kuch nahin boloonga...kuch
nahin boloonga.

On the way back from school...

2009-12-02T10:15:00.004+05:30

Me: Vir, aaj tune school mein kya kiya?
Vir: Maine gandi baat kari. Masi ne mujhe corner mein baitha diya.
Me: Phir tune kya kiya
Vir: Phiiiiiir....main uth gaya

Yeah. So his timeouts are really working!

I'm here, I'm here!

2009-12-01T01:16:00.009+05:30

It's past 1:15 am and I'm going to regret being awake at this time when Vir wakes me up at 6 and says, "mamma...sunrise ho gaya hai...abhi sone ka time nahin hai...abhi uthne ka time hai." (Vir, just so you know - that's the least cute thing you say, and don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise!)

The last month has been full of firsts for little Tara and full of cute chatter from Vir, but it's also been one of the most challenging months of my life as a mom because both of them have been sick and I've been on a low myself. So, much as I've been wanting to report things as they happen, writing just hasn't been part of the critical path of my days and so it hasn't been happening.

That doesn't take away from the cuteness of Tara's first tooth, the fun we had giving her her first solid meal, or the excitement we felt when she sat up for the first time. Actually the excitement came after we cleared the confusion over whether she was sitting or falling because she was bending forward so wierdly. Turns out that's how she likes to sit for now. She's getting a lot better at it now though, and starting to look more like she's just trying to pick up something far out of her reach and not so much like an impossible yoga asan.

Another big first for both the kiddos was their first international trip. We took a holiday to Dubai and spent some time with my sister and her family. The kids LOVED it and it looks like my mom and I have survived two flights with the two kids. Vijay was lucky enough to escape the experience but he has a longer one coming up in the near future and I plan to make him pay for having had it easy this time. Jokes aside though, this is where I'm going to compliment my kids for being absolutely wonderful on both the flights despite horribly awkward timings and a crazy mother who had way too much stuff and not a lot of poise. They fell asleep at the right times, didn't scream like some of the others on that plane, didn't spill juice on me, and didn't poop on me. I still found the whole experience very harassing, so I can imagine the plight of the mom whose baby spent almost the entire 3-hour flight screaming his lungs out. This is one of the things that has changed about me since I've had kids. At one time, I used to foolishly get irritated when a child was being loud or obnoxious in a public place. I have been guilty of shaking my head in disapproval (to put it mildly) at kids' bad behavior and blamed it on "bad parenting." Yes, me, sorry. Now, I'm one of the "bad parents" and all I can do when I hear a child screaming for something, or see a toddler sprawled across the floor somewhere screaming hyena like, is shake my head in sympathy but mostly just say a little thank you that at least this time, this is not my child:-)

Party Animal!

2009-10-28T07:26:00.004+05:30

Tara attended her first birthday party yesterday! It went as one would expect. She spent a lot of time watching other kids being silly, was a little silly herself for a while, and then fell asleep just when the cake was being cut. Vir also behaved pretty much as expected. He grabbed a car from the birthday girl's collection of toys, stood with it in a corner and watched all the other kids being silly, managed to convince the birthday girl's grandmother to give him some icing from the birthday cake before it was cut, and spent the rest of his time protecting Tara from potential claimants. He thinks everyone wants to take her home and is always wary of strangers and friends when it comes to her. Poor girl - she has a few fights ahead of her in this regard. And poor boy, all he wants to do is make sure only he is allowed to annoy her. For now though, it's a totally love-love relationship with only worshipping looks on either side despite the occasional pinching and toy snatching from the big brother who, I'm often guilty of forgetting, is only a baby himself.
Honestly, anyone reading this and contemplating having a second child. Go for it. You'll only regret it once in a while but you'll be constantly in awe of the relationship your little ones will share.

My little rocket!

2009-10-13T08:39:00.003+05:30

She's learnt how to do push ups and she uses every minute she can find to practice this new skill. It just never gets old. I think the next step will be bending her knee forward and pushing ahead, aka crawling! But how can this be? She's only 5 months. Here I was thinking we have a few more months of sitting around calmly with a rattle in one hand and the laptop in the other.

"No such luck, mom! Watch out, I'm on my way!"

Already?!

2009-10-06T16:02:00.006+05:30

Tara is constantly amazing me with the stuff she's up to! I don't really remember the timing of Vir's early milestones and have to keep referring back to this blog for that, but I'm pretty sure that Tara is doing some of this stuff sooner than he did. She's already being able to make her way across the bed in a really random combination of crawling and creeping and frog jumping and rolling accompanied by lots of noise and has been doing this for almost a month now! In fact, I'm not proud to report that she has already fallen off the bed once. I just didn't see it coming. I left her on the bed for a minute thinking she's my little infant who is still totally safe on the bed and when I came back, she was on the floor. It was horrible, but brave little girl that she is, she was smiling almost the second I picked her up!

She has also recently started reaching out for things that are held out in front of her. Which, of course, opens up a world of options for her to put in her mouth. Because in Tara's world, things have only one purpose - to be tasted! I'm looking forward to when I can give her real food and also really hoping she actually eats what I give her and saves me round II of the torture that Vir is putting me through these days.

I'll report that when it happens. For now, I just watch her with wonder as she troops along, learning new and wonderful things everyday and overwhelming us with gratitude that she can and that we're lucky enough to be witness to her miracles.

New Age Ram

2009-09-23T11:10:00.003+05:30

This week's theme at Vir's school is the Ramayan and theatre or some sort of the mix of the two. So, for show and tell today, I gave Vir a mask of Ram and a gadda. This is our conversation about the stuff I gave him:

Me: Vir, ye dekh....Bhagwan Ram.
Vir: Bhagwan Ram kya karte hain?
Me: Bhagwan Ram bahut achche hain aur logon ki help karte hain
Vir: Bhagwan Ram kaunsi car mein aate hain? (oh the mental image!)

And...

Me: Yeh dekh Vir...gadda...
Vir: Ye kiska hai?
Me: Bhagwan Hanuman ka...isse woh gande logon ko marte hai (I really didn't know what else to say)
Vir: Main unko bolooonga...."aise thodi hota hai, hanu bhagwan....isko mat maro...yeh meri friend hai." (all his learning getting mixed up!)

Show and tell should be interesting today!!

2009-09-21T16:30:00.003+05:30

You know how I said that Tara can get a degree in making noise? She's managed to gurgle so loudly over the last couple of days that she has actually lost her voice!! It's so funny...she's making this thick, grown up gurgling sound now, because of course, a minor thing like a lost voice isn't actually going to stop her from speaking her mind. That's my girl!

2009-09-18T07:47:00.009+05:30

If Tara could read this blog, she'd think she doesn't exist, for all that I've written of her! Or maybe she did read this blog and has stopped sleeping at night just to get back at me. Seriously though, I had great intentions of writing monthly updates for her, just as I did for Vir. That was before I knew what happens to your life when you have two kids. I had well meaning friends try to warn me before she came that I should brace myself and that life with two is a lot crazier than life with one. I heard them out but didn't really know what to do with that information. She was coming and that's what I wanted and that's all there was to it. Then she arrived, and as I posted earlier, she was a total angel doing amazing things like putting herself to sleep and taking four hour naps making me think my well meaning friends were quite wrong and that my baby was really easy and very considerate. Notice how I use the past tense in this last sentence? That's because THIS HAS ALL ENDED. SUDDENLY. She no longer sleeps. She simply doesn't sleep. All day. And I'm still to get used to this new situation.

I really can't complain though, because though the sleeping little angel is a thing of the past, what has replaced her is even more lovable. She wakes up in the morning and greets me with a huge grin that lights up everything. She stretches and turns and rolls and curls herself as if she's so tired from her multiple duties. She rolls over and looks up so surprised that the world has suddenly changed its direction and everything is new all over again. Then she decides she likes this new way and grins again. Of course, this soon gets old and she starts making a noise to be turned back, which she hasn't figured out how to do herself yet. She knows how to make noise. In fact, she can get a degree in making noise. Happy noise...that's the noise you make when you're happy and you want everyone to know it. That's what she does for the most part, but she's also getting really really good at making the unhappy noise...that's the noise you make when you want mommy. She may be getting noisy but she still has the knack for knowing just when I'm having a tough time and supports me fully by falling asleep and staying out of my hair. She's also super brave and doesn't make a fuss over little things. Not even over big things unless you really cross the line.

It's a miracle to watch her unfold a little bit at a time. I can't wait! I'm so impatient that even though I can't wait for her to fall asleep because I have things to do, I also can't wait for her to wake up the next time so I can see what she'll be up to. Of course, it doesn't take much for her to wake up at any time because we have our helpful little waker upper in the form of little Vir - always ready to go up to her sleeping little body, shake it, and say, "Tara....tu so rahi hai?" She'll figure out a way to get back at him for this eventually, I'm sure. In the meanwhile, my sympathies are with you little one...I know how it is to be woken up when you want to sleep:-)

2009-09-16T09:42:00.002+05:30

Me: What's your name?
Vir: Vir Gogoi
Me: And what's papa's name?
Vir: Papa Gogoi
Me: And mamma's name?
Vir: Mamma Gogoi
Me: No, it's not Mamma Gogoi!
Vir: Mummy Gogoi?
Seriously, where do they learn to be so cute?!

Sure sign that Vijay is on too many office calls

2009-09-10T22:13:00.003+05:30

Vir: Meri sandals mil gayee (I found my sandals)
Me:Kahan se? (from where?)
Vir: Meeting room se (from the meeting room)
Me: Meeting room kaunsa hai? (which one is the meeting room?)
Vir: Woh...jahaan papa computer dekhte rehte hain, or hello karte rehte
hain (the one where papa is always looking at his computer and saying hello on the phone)

Once again, there's too much to write

2009-08-17T10:58:00.006+05:30

So much has happened since I last posted. Vir and Tara had their first Rakhi together, which was great. Tara turned three months old. Vir and Tara's older cousin brother came to stay with us for a few days. And we all took our first holiday together as a family. I wish I had recorded these things as they happened because there's lots of stuff I've now forgotten, but this blog is used to long periods of silence and my kids will eventually get used to my laziness and procrastination. Who knows, they might even use me as their role model and then we have nothing to worry about!

So anyway, the first Rakhi went off well...if you define well as I do anyway. I wasn't expecting much since Vir hates to have anything tied on his wrist. It's one of those toddler things that I think will eventually go away. I made sure he was really excited about Rakhi a few days before the big day, when he got his first Rakhi from a cousin in Dehradun. It came by courier and the envelope had his name on it and the card was beautiful and so was the rakhi, so it was easy to get him pepped. In fact, I think he was over excited about the whole thing because he came to me at least 10-15 times a day asking to look at the rakhi that didi had sent for him. Each time he asked, I stopped whatever I was doing and took the rakhi out of the drawer and spent time oohing and aahing at it with Vir. I might as well not have bothered though. He fooled me into thinking that all this excitement would mean that he would actually let Tara and me tie his rakhis on his wrist. He didn't. I guess it didn't help that the wire from the end of one of his rakhis accidentally touched his skin as was winding it around his wrist. This led my delicate little flower to start screaming loudly and insist that the weapon be removed from his hand. Later, he told me that the reason he gave up on the entire rakhi ceremony was because it hurt him. Probably the only kid ever to think that he was attacked by a rakhi. See:

Anyway, just because we didn't actually manage to tie and keep the rakhi for the stipulated amount of time (what is that, by the way?), doesn't mean it wasn't filled with emotion for me at least. I just loved the sight of the two of them together on a day that is special for brothers and sisters. I hope and hope and hope that they have a great relationship growing up. That they always watch out for each other, that they protect each other from evil forces (aka parents), that they fight over who gets to choose the music we play in the car, that they get to go for tennis or swimming lessons together and laugh at each others' moves, that Vir helps Tara with her Maths and that Tara comes home from school with Vir stories to share, that they share books and laughs and midnight treats and secrets and all the things that make this relationship so special just the way mine was and is to me. Too many expectations laden with stereotypes? Perhaps but they're fun to think about anyway. I do know that Vir is being a fantastic brother already. He just loves Tara. No matter how cranky or irritable he is, he breaks out into a smile when he looks at his Tara-Para! My challenge every day is to prevent him from smothering her completely with his hugs and kisses. Nice problem to have, I guess.

Anyway, lots more to write but that's for a later time since the brat is almost ready to be picked up from school. Another few minutes and the peace in this house will be replaced by sounds of cars being banged on tables, tricycles being run over dogs, and little sisters being smothered by over affectionate toddler kisses.

Where's my mug of bournvita?

Ah, for life to be so simple!

2009-07-29T09:37:00.003+05:30

Holding the curtain and twisting it around himself like a saree:
"Mamma, jab main bada ho jaayega na, tab meri shaadi ho jaayegi."

30 seconds later, putting the end of the curtain over his head: "Dekho....main bada ho gaya...aur meri shaadi ho gayi."

(That's "When I grow up, I'm going to get married." And "Look, I'm older now, and I've got married")

I can't wait to tell your girlfriends about this and embarass you, my little one. I'm collecting my stack of stories (and pictures!) to get back at you for all the times you've farted loudly and announced gleefully "maine smell kar di" or come running to me with a snotty nose and demanded I clean it. Just you wait:-)

Plonk

2009-07-25T21:37:00.010+05:30

So this last week has been quite crazy because Vir has been sick with a viral fever that spikes to a 102-103 degrees 3-4 times and day as well as a cough from hell that has tired him out terribly and rendered him completely unable to talk without breaking out into a long coughing fit. It's been horrible seeing my talkative little fellow only being able to point to the things he wants and not being able to ask any of the hundred questions that are in his mind at any point in the day. Of course, he still manages to choke out questions about which car we're going to hospital in or which car we'll buy him from the conveniently located gift shop in the hospital. That really makes us smile because no matter how low he's feeling, at least there's something that cheers him up.

He's been sick before but not as much and also not at an age when he's so aware about what's going on. When we took him to the ER the first night when his fever spiked suddenly, he took one look at the hospital and said, "Nahin...mamma....mera theek hai, mera theek hai...paint nahin ho raha." My heart actually broke into so many pieces at this point. Of course, as soon as they put some medicine in him and stopped poking him with stuff to check for infections in his ear and throat, and he started feeling better, he forgot about the whole thing and spent the drive back talking about the two policemen (security guards) and the blue ambulance he had seen at the hospital. The rest of the week since last Sunday has been a blur of medicines and syringes and nebulizers and hospital visits all of which he has taken as bravely and maturely as can be expected. I wouldn't blame him for any tantrums anyway, because all I've done this last week is come at him with some med syrup or the other (they really should call those things something else because I've had syrup and these things are not it. Maple syrup is syrup. Ascoril D is not syrup. And Vir's taste buds are definitely smart enough to figure out the difference). But even with all that we've put him through, he's been great...no tantrums whatsoever. Even giving him his meds has been easier than last time around when it actually took 3 whole people to give him 2 ml. of medicine. I'm really not joking - one person had to hold his arms and legs, one had to keep his head straight, and one had to push the syringe of medicine into his mouth. Somehow though, it's easier to give him medicine when he's struggling and fighting and screaming than when he's defeated because that look is just killing.

He was also pretty great this morning when we took him for an X-ray and a blood test. He insisted on taking off all his clothes and not just his T-shirt for the X-ray and even managed to tearfully thank the technician who drew his blood sample.

We've been rewarding him with dinky cars almost every day this week, which is probably spoiling him but I think at this point, Vijay and I really don't care about the long term effects of buying him too many toys and just want him to have some short term joy NOW when his days are so crappy. On the positive side though, he's a lot better today, and I'm really hoping the worst of his viral infection is over and he'll be back to his springy and mischief filled self next week. We can't wait because for Vijay and I, that cute little grin from his healthy little face is just what the doctor ordered.

Latest quotes from my bigger little one

2009-07-17T00:30:00.002+05:30

"Mamma, mereko bless you aa raha hai. Kyunki pankha aa raha hai aur AC
se thand aa rahi hai"

"Mamma, please light on kar do. Mereko light ki zaroorat padh rahi
hai."

(I won't translate this because I just can't!)

Family outing

2009-07-11T22:37:00.013+05:30

So, because we wanted to meet the reality of being parents of two tiny kids head on and with a let's-get-on-with-life-attitude, and also because we're that stupid, Vijay and I decided to take both of them out to the mall today. This is one of those things you dread when you have one kid and you're expecting your next. Because you know what chasing one of these things in and out of stores and away from glass railings, while telling him for the hundreth time why he can't have that toy or that ice cream or that chocolate is like. And you break out in a cold sweat when you realize that you have voluntarily taken steps to multiply the fun by two and that it's really only a matter of weeks before you'll be someone you hitherto only shook your head sympathetically at as they frantically ran after one kid while swinging his sibling by the arm as he clung to his ice cream cone.

But this is one of those things you dread and then the day comes that you have to do it. And then you do it and it's just like ripping off a bandaid. Ripping it off really slowly so you can feel each hair come out of your skin with a little plink. Today was that day and it was everything we had dreaded it would be.

To start off, we had only one stroller which we planned to use for Tara so that Vir could walk besides us (told you, we're that stupid). However, Vir decided to throw a tantrum that today of all days, he really wanted to be in the stroller. So we decided that this might actually be a good thing because at least Tara won't run off and slap someone's butt (yes, that too has happened). But of course, Vir soon realized that being strapped up in the stroller wasn't as much fun as he had imagined and being jealous of Tara is no fun if you get what you want. So he threw another tantrum to get out. "Okay," we said philosophically, "let's go with the flow," and switched again. Tara, who as I've previously documented is an absolute angel decided to surprise us today by not sleeping at all through this whole thing and also by commemorating her first mall outing in the only way she knows - by pooping. Ever accepting of the challenges life throws us, and with more philosophical nods, Vijay and I went about the task of changing a poopy diaper in a very public place while also chasing Vir who by now had realized that this was his chance to escape and had run off to try to get into a car on display not far away. Thinking that we might as well make this whole ordeal worth it by shopping (stoooopid), we made our way into a store where I wanted to pick up some clothes. It was quite interesting trying on clothes with a two month old screaming outside and a 28 month old crawling in and out of the trial room through the space below the door. Fun times. Lunch was another adventure but by that time we were so exhausted that we met this challenge by putting Vir in the stroller and loading him up with some chocolote dessert. We did go through the formality of offering him some healthy hummus and pita bread first, to which he gave us his formal are-you-kidding-me-you-clowns-you look. Once again, Vijay and I exchanged understanding and sympathetic looks that reaffirmed that we're in this together and tried not to think back to who had initiated the let's-have-that-second-kid-now conversation.

All in all, I'd say that it was a fairly successful trip out. We had a few laughs, learnt a few lessons, gained some grey hair, lost some extra calories, and came back weary and sleepy but also happy and thankful that we're a family of four.

Two months!

2009-07-09T17:44:00.007+05:30

I find it hard to believe that I've been a mother of two children for two months now. Two months ago today, I hadn't even seen Tara - she was just a wish at that time since I didn't even know she was a girl. I don't think I'll ever forget the absolute burst of sunshine that was my heart when the doc told me she had arrived. And now, two months into being her mother, I'm amazed at how much I love this child. I used to wonder how it would be possible to love anyone as much as I love Vir and was almost guilty towards her even before she was born. Now I know how silly such doubts about how to love your second born are.

I'm waiting for her personality to unfold, but if the last two months are anything to go by, she's the best baby in the whole world (touchwood). She has nothing on her agenda except to get through her days and nights without causing trouble to either herself or to anyone around her. She has a clear you-don't-hurt-me-I-won't-hurt-you philosophy. She often puts herself to sleep and spends a lot of time talking to herself and grinning happily at whatever part of the room she can see. If you happen to drop by to chat with her, she'll happily talk back for a bit. If you don't because you're busy chasing after her older brother, she'll understand and won't hold it against you. So she's calm for the most part but if you happen to piss her off by taking too long to serve up her meal, or God forbid by holding her in a way she doesn't want to be held, she'll make sure you're suitably chastened. If she doesn't want to be held up against a shoulder, she doesn't let a tiny detail like the fact that she's two months old come in the way of fighting you. There's no doubt that she can take on any one of us single handedly, and win. All we can do is always try to make sure things are always her way. What a ride this is going to be!

Tara, if you're reading this, I want you to know we're thrilled to be on this ride with you. You're the sort of stuff stars are made of, and don't you forget it:-).

Angrezi

2009-07-09T01:06:00.005+05:30

I found him in the kitchen this morning screaming, "What's problem? What's problemmmmmm?" Turned out the problemmmm was that Mamta wasn't giving him water to spill on the floor. When he wants something and doesn't get it or things aren't working out the way he wants them to (for example when his cars don't stack up one on top of the other), he screams "I'm sorry. I'm soreeeee." When he's talking to his cars (yes, that happens all the time), he asks them how they are and "what's going on." When he wants attention he says, "Mamma, look at me." He loves to order Baggdu to "eat properly." The other day he told me he wanted a "particular" car (he thinks one of his red cars is called "particular" because he heard me tell Vijay once that he was looking for that particular one!) And he seems to love the word "actually" because though he doesn't have a clue what it means, he scatters it between his sentences in a completely random and hilarious way.

I'm seriously thinking of canceling our Tata Sky subscription and saving 250 bucks a month! Who needs TV with all this live entertainment. Of course, the Tata Sky remote comes with a mute button, which gives it that edge. Then again, the Tata Sky remote has never come up to me, given me a hug, and said, "mamma, mujhe pyaaaaar karo."

Seriously, boy!

2009-06-26T21:49:00.006+05:30

So in an effort to sneak some nutrition into my son's almost non-existent diet, I mixed a mashed up banana into a scoop of vanilla ice cream and served it up with walnuts and a dash of chocolate sauce as an ice cream sundae. He had almost the whole thing but without the enthusiasm he normally displays for ice cream.

I thought I had won this round till he walked up to me today and said, "Mereko ek ice cream sundae chahiye, banana ice cream ke saath...lekin usme kela nahin daalna aur akhrot nahin daalna." (I want an ice cream sundae with banana ice cream, but don't put any bananas or walnuts in it.)

Summer days with the gramps

2009-06-25T11:37:00.013+05:30

Running first thing in the morning to nani's mandir and blowing out the diyas. Grabbing the keys to the black car and green car and running out to get his early morning look at the cars. Being chased in and then running up to nani for a morning hug and chat. Waking up Tara by kissing her endlessly on her face and head. Tracking down the orange box filled with a hundred cars from wherever we've hidden it and making nani open it for him. Playing "takkar takkar" with nani for as long as it takes her to find a way out and escape. Begging for a calcium toffee and always getting it. Then begging for a black imli toffee and again getting it. Running up to nani as soon as she opens her cupboard hoping for something interesting for himself...and again always getting it. Running off to the inverter and switching it off and then giving chase to me to get it on again. Waiting for nana to arrive from his game of golf and then attempting to repeat a dose of the calcium toffee but failing. Torturing Powder no matter where he hides himself. Running out the door again to scatter some mud on the verandah floor and possibly sneak a look at the cars again. Going off with nani in the green car to buy vegetables and coming back armed with a box of juice, a big bag of chips, and a packet of gems. Creating a fuss when said goodies are stolen away by mom but easily distracted because of number of cars scattered on the floor. Parking cars up and down nana's legs as he tries to sleep after his game of golf. Stating his breakfast preference and then changing it about 5 times. Running into the kitchen for a lick of peanut butter as mom makes breakfast and for a chat with Mamta didi, mostly about the green car. Being chased for breakfast and throwing a few tantrums. Having a brilliant bath in his blue tub with nani standing by and trying to save herself from being completely drenched. Giving loving baths to the chosen cars of the day. Coming back and waking up Tara again, just for the entertainment value. Spending the entire afternoon running between nana nani's room and mom's room with handfuls of cars and spinning stories about cars, fire engines, tractors, and airplanes. Waking up anyone who has managed to take a nap in all this chaos. Splashing in his little swimming pool in the lawn. Drenching everyone and everything with the hose pipe. Washing the cars with Ramu bhaiya. Watering the plants. Throwing a tantrum when it's time to come in. Getting in the car with nana or nani and driving off to the Sugar Box for a purple pastry. More car talk in the evening. Another round of takkar takkar with nani if he's lucky. Jumping games with nana and nani that always start with "mein aapki chutney bana doon?." Lots of chasing and tantrums to get cleaned up and changed for bed. And finally, to everyone's relief and exhausted sighs, after a day that's been everything that it can be, my little Mr. Mischief goes off to sleep.

I just wish Vir would remember forever the carefree fun he's had this summer because I can't think of anything more priceless than these memories he's creating for himself and for all of us.

Now I know my ABC

2009-06-10T19:01:00.007+05:30

I had absolutely no intention of teaching Vir the alphabet at this age because it's hardly the most important thing for a 2-year old. It's way behind all the other things he needs to work on right now, such as not spitting out food that he doesn't like and handing it over to the nearest person, not running around naked in front of guests screaming "nanguuuuu nanguuuuu" (nakeeeeed...nakeeeed), not peeing first and informing me later, not eating ice cream with his hands, and other important life skills.

I did end up buying him one of those wooden alphabet puzzles in my never ending quest to keep him productively occupied and out of trouble. If the speed with which he has picked up the entire alphabet is any indication of ease with which he will navigate the Indian school system, I'm quite relieved. We now know that he is good with rote memory, which is all you really need, right? Now if only we can figure out how to make him sit in one place...hmm.

Anyway, he still doesn't know the actual letters...for him, everything is a B. But he does know words that start with each letter and never misses a single one. This is how he sees things:

B for Aita (his grandmom)
B for Baggdu (our dog)
B for Car (could there be anything else?)
B for Dehradun (the place of eternal fun and freedom)
B for E (not that we know why, having never actually tasted one)
B for F (again, no clue what it must be like)
B for Gogoi (took him forever to get the pronunciation right causing much anguish to Vijay)
B for Huggie (he really does get those perfectly)
I for Icecream (can't go wrong on something so important)
B for Juice (which he makes nana buy from the shop at our gate every single day)
B for Kite (just by rote...he has never actually seen one of those)
L for Lion (don't ask me why he gets this right)
B for Mamma (sigh)
B for Nana, Nani, Powder, and Pirate (he clubs them together as a family unit - the last two being my parents' pet dogs)
O (for nothing...he just knows what it is)
B for Papa (also known as Vijaaaay when he's not responding to the politer version)
B for Queen (doesn't have a clue what a queen is but could fool you with his confidence)
B for Rabbit
B for.... (he hasn't learnt this one yet!)
B for Teta (his grand dad who has a police car that goes waaaaaooooon)
B for Udit mama (my brother)
V for Vir (this one is important for his school admission interviews, I'm sure!)
B for Water
Axe (that's what he calls it!)
B for....(still working on this one too)
B for Zebra

There you have it...his first piece of formal learning wrapped up around the people and things in his world. I'm just happy that B is for Mamma:-)

Conversation between brother and sister

2009-05-29T13:03:00.003+05:30

Vir: Tara, aapko shop se kya chahiye? (Tara, what do you want from the
shop?)
Tara: Stares blankly and not even at Vir
Vir: Chocolate? Chocolate chahiye (Do you want a chocolate?)
Tara: Changes expression but only slightly and still doesn't look at
Vir
Vir: Theek hai. Main chocolate le ke aata hoon. Theek hai? (Okay...I'll get
you a chocolate. Okay?)
Tara: Looks at Vir...wait...no not really.
Vir: Okay...main shop ja raha hoon! Bye! See you! Take care! Be good!

Never ceases to amaze

2009-05-22T19:42:00.004+05:30

So the other day, Vir told me he wants to pee (yes, that day really has dawned!!) and I took him to the bathroom and sat him down on the pot. He followed his usual routine of suddenly wanting to jump off and not pee, then reaching back to flush while sitting there, then trying to rip out yards of toilet paper, then chatting about this and that, and then finally peeing.

No surprises till he finished and then announced loudly and clearly, "Marvelous....simply marvelous!!!"

Alright then. My two year old uses words like marvelous. What's next?

A star is born!

2009-05-19T15:04:00.006+05:30

My little Tara is here. She arrived on the 9th of May and has been absolutely P-E-R-F-E-C-T since the minute she arrived. Oh how much I was wishing for a girl...so to start off the perfection, she fulfilled that wish. And what a wonderful little baby she is proving to be...no trouble whatsoever. Vir thinks she's perfect too...that has a lot to do with the fact that she "brought along" with her two cars for him - a black one and a yellow one as requested all those months ago from the "chota baby" in mom's tummy. He was munching a muffin when he came to see his little sister in hospital the day after she was born and his first words to her were "Tara, aap muffin khaoge?" (Tara, would you like to eat a muffin?). Considering the huge change she has brought to his life, I think he's taking it extremely well so far. Minor signs of jealousy aside, he seems to be very fond of her already...he's always standing by her cradle and staring at her and wishing he was allowed to rock the cradle, he's endlessly fascinated by the fact that she has a head and little hands and feet and that she poops, he loves to help out with stuff like fetching her box of wipes and her diapers (usually he gets about 20 when I ask for one!), and he's constantly directing me to feed her because the whole concept of breastfeeding is also very new and totally fascinating for him!

As for me, I can't get over the fact that we now have two children and don't really know how to send out my message of thanks to God who has been so incredibly generous to us. This is exactly what I wanted...an older boy and a younger girl with exactly this age gap in between them, because this is the family I grew up with and it was everything I could ask for. I hope very much that Vir and Tara will grow up in the same secure and happy way that we did and that one day they'll look back at their childhood and smile. Because that's when we'll know we did good as their parents. Till then of course, we're ready for the ride!

My little drama queen!

2009-04-22T21:25:00.018+05:30

So I was vacumming the living room carpet today with Vir being a monkey all around me while I was trying to get my work done. At one point, he was hanging on to the back of one of the couches. I didn't realize that his foot was under the couch and moved it to clean under it, and ended up hurting him a little bit. It was a tiny surface bruise on one of his toes from the fabric of the couch, and he's definitely had more painful, though small bruises in the past as well. But, OH MY GOD the hell that broke loose after this point. I think it was mainly because I was really guilty and apologetic about my carelessness and he knew I would pamper him, but wow this kid can put up a show!! He cried and cried with huge tears which, initially at least were very real because he was in some amount of pain. But, after the first 30 minutes and several different applications of different antiseptic ointments, and all the colors of lotions that he kept demanding I apply on his toe, I think I was fair in asking him to get a grip.

After multiple rounds of "dawaiii lagaaaaaoooooo" (put medicine) and then "dawwaaaaaiiii hataaaaoooo" (remove this medicine) and then "pink lotion laagaaoooooo" (put the pink lotion) and "white lotion lagaaaooooo" (put the white lotion) and "chot lag gayiiiiiiiiii" (I'm hurt, I'm hurrrrrrrrrt), he finally fell asleep. I was happy because I thought this was the end of it and that he would wake up and run off to play having forgotten this traumatic incident. But the drama didn't end here...he woke up 2 hours later and started exactly where he had left off...opened his eyes and screamed "chot lag gayiiiiiiiiii." Of course, he wasn't in pain any more so he kept forgetting that he was "supposed" to be crying. At one point he started chatting away and asked me to go and bring his red car from his room. When I told him to go and get it himself, he was back at it..."waaaaaaaaa....phir se chot lag jayegiiiiiiii....sofe se...eeeeeee!!!" And for added effect and added leverage out of mamma's mistake, he made a great show of limping on one foot when I made him go and get his own cars anyway.

I'm hoping this was all an act, because otherwise it means we went totally wrong in picking a name for him (Vir means brave). Maybe Shah Rukh Khan would have been a better choice!

What's this?

2009-04-19T08:59:00.004+05:30

Now that Vir has stopped wearing diapers, at least at home, a whole new situation seems to have opened up for him because he's discovered his little boy part! So, now he runs around the house in his cute little briefs (these things are way cuter than any I remember when I was growing up) all day. And whenever I take them off for him to go to the loo, he runs away without wearing them again with his prized possession in hand grinning and yelling, "ye dekho....kya aa gayaaaaa!!!!" (look what showed up!!)

Disclaimer: Vir, if and when you read this, I know how embarassed you'll be, but it's just too cute for me to not make a record of, and I promise you that all the women in your life will think so too.

My favorite quotes!

2009-04-16T17:47:00.003+05:30

"Mamma....pyjama pehen lo."(Mamma, wear your pyjamas): On waking up in the morning and seeing me in shorts.
"Bas ho gaya...ab main car mein ja raha hoon....theek hai?" (That's enough...now I'm going in the car, alright?): As he jumps out of bed first thing in the morning and walks out of the room.
"Ghar mein peshal peshal baby aane wala hai." (There's a special baby coming to my house): To his teacher in class, who thought Peshal is what we were planning to name the little one!
Mein ice cream lene jaa raha hoon...shop mein....theek hai? (I'm off to the shop to get some ice cream, alright?)

He's talking all the time and everything is so damn cute...I can't really put it down here...you have to hear it! It's like free live entertainment TV except we can't just turn off the switch when we want to sleep.

How do I respond to this??

2009-04-04T13:17:00.007+05:30

So Vir absolutely loves the bottom drawer of my bedside table which I've been silly enough to fill with my cherished collection of cute stationery stuff like stickers, letter paper, paper clips, pens, erasers and all sorts of lovelies. I'm being stubborn and not removing this stuff from my drawer because he's just gotta learn that some things are out of bounds for him. And he's learnt it...the temptation to open the goodie drawer just gets too much for him sometimes. So, this morning, he woke up and headed straight for the drawer where he's been eyeing a Winnie the Pooh sticker sheet even though I was right there on the bed. When I called out my usual "Don't even think about it, Vir," this was his response: "Mamma....jaao...aaap please jaao....khana banaao." (Mamma...please go...go and cook food). I didn't know which part to laugh about - the fact that the little brat actually thought this "subtle" trick to get me to leave the room would buy him some time with the coveted drawer, or that he actually told me to go to the kitchen and cook! How do they come up with this? And really...what's next!?

Vir's First Report Card!

2009-04-01T12:00:00.008+05:30

I was so surprised when Vir's teacher handed me a report card when I went to pick him up today! I had no idea they write reports for kids this size, but I guess it makes sense as a way to keep track of what they're doing in school and to provide thrills to parents like me!

Here's what it says:

Educator's Comments: Vir walks in with a finger in his mouth, which does not come off till the end of the day. He has now settled down into our programme. Vir enjoys painting and names the colors he is using. He likes playing with play doh too. At western musix, Vir is very attentive, as with storytime. Outdoors, it's the cycle for him or the slideboard.

My comments: "Sky mein aeroplane kahan gaya?" (looking for planes in the sky).

Vir's dowry to his wife from me will be a large, bound collection of report cards and examination answer sheets collected through the years. What great ammunition for her for lazy Sunday afternoons ideally spent making silly comments on old report cards and poking fun at his spelling mistakes in exams.

P.S. I wonder if I'm really as crazy a mother as I sometimes sound on this blog...he gets his first report card and my mind shoots off to a Sunday thirty five years ahead when his wife is making fun of his essay on how he spent his summer holidays.

Some pictures from school

2009-03-31T17:35:00.002+05:30

On pet/animal day.
Storytime...I can't believe he's sitting so nicely with all the other kids and actually listening!
On the "pink" cycle he loves at school.

In the playroom.

The formal education of Vir Gogoi

2009-03-30T18:44:00.009+05:30

One of the biggest developments in Vir's life in the last month has been the beginning of his formal school education. This is a HUGE step, even though it's only playschool right now and he only goes for an hour a day. But that doesn't change the fact that he's never really going to have an unregulated life from now on. Forever after, he's going to have to get up at a certain time every day and get ready to go address his day, no matter what it's going to look like. (Yes, even if he's an out of work artist, which his over ambitious parents have wistfully imagined for him, but that's another story for another day). He's going to learn to love weekends the way most of us would empathize with though I hope that he loves whatever he does so much that weekends are a nuisance. (Though let's face it...how often does that really happen?)

Anyway, school is going great. It started out really well...he loved the place right from when we first took him to visit before we had decided where to send him. He also loved his first week there because he got to play with all sorts of new toys and on the swings and in the sandpit and the added benefit was that I accompanied him and cheered him on in all these new adventures. He wasn't thrilled when he caught on that I would eventually stop coming into his "classroom" with him and it didn't help that around this time he got sick and had to take off for about a week. So, by the time he got back, all the other kids were settled and he was the only one who still needed mommy. All in all though, I don't think it's taken him very long to get settled. Till last week, he would get a little teary eyed at the gate when I would leave him with his teachers and would sort of tentatively try to reassure himself by repeating that mom is going to be waiting at the gate for him (which is what I would tell him to make him feel secure). It helped that I was always there waiting as promised when he ran back out and also that he really had a blast for the hour that he was inside. So, today, he got to a point where he completely forgot to cry or even say bye to me and simply ran inside with one of his friends without even waiting for either of his teachers to take him! Oh how my heart sang at this display of independence!! This is a great beginning and I have my fingers crossed for the future.

For now, I look forward every day to his stories that always begin with "school mein kya kiya?" (what did you do in school?) and range from things like "cycle ke saath khela" (played with a cycle), to mitti khaya (ate sand), to "Amaarya ke saath khana banaya" (cooked with Amaarya, a classmate).

So fly little Vir and I hope you always always are this joyful about the things you do and learn. And you never need to be told - mom and dad will always be waiting at the gate for you.

Bada bhai in the making

2009-03-25T11:00:00.009+05:30

I know I always say this, but honestly this time I've taken the cake in not updating this blog. And it's worse this time because these last two months have been so eventful for Vir. He had his second birthday, took a long trip to see his grandparents in Guwahati, and started school! And he has started talking NON STOP. I'm amazed at how much he has to say...he has a comment on pretty much everything in his little life and also in most others' lives! So all in all...I guess I have a lot to write about. I hope you know, Vir, that this has nothing to do with your level of importance in the house and everything to do with the fact that if I've had any time in the past two months at all, I've used it to do slightly more urgent things like take a shower, or go to the loo. Things are settled now and I have a little more time before craziness descends again...which is going to happen in less than two months. Yikes. Little does he know how his life is about to change! He parrots his answers to our questions with a lot of confidence, but I'm sure when we show up at home with a baby that invades his precious space, he won't be very enthusiastic. I hope it's better than I'm imagining, but I guess we'll just wait and see. Right now, this is what he believes:

Me: Vir, what's inside mom's tummy?
Vir: Chota baby (little baby)
Me: Where will the baby come from?
Vir: Doctor Aunty dengi (the doctor will give it)
Me: What will you say to her?
Vir: Thank you!
Me: What are you of the little baby's?
Vir: Bada bhai (big brother)
Me: What will you do with the little baby?
Vir: Chota baby ka dhyaaaaaan rakhega (I'll take care of the little baby),
car mein drive pe le ke jaayega (I'll take him for a drive), aur pyaar karega
(I'll love him).
Me: And what will the baby bring you?
Vir: A present! Cars! Black and yellow cars!

So apparently, the baby will come out of my uterus clutching two cars in his or her hands! If that's what it takes to make sure the baby is welcomed, I think I'll accept it!

He's starting to pay his rent!

2009-01-29T01:17:00.002+05:30

An exciting development to report! Yesterday, my little to-do diary was lying on the dining table and I was sitting on the couch feeling too lazy to get up and get it (what does that say for the to-do's in my book?) Anyway, Vir happened to be toddling by so I asked him to pick up mummy's diary from the table and bring it over. He looked a little confused - diary being one of those words he hadn't encountered before, but to his credit, he looked sincerely at everything on the table trying to piece together what a "diary" might be. No luck though, so he looked back helplessly at me. A little more maternal guidance, maternal finger pointing towards diary, and urgency in maternal voice did the trick. He spotted the diary, comprehension dawned, and goal!

Imagine the possibilities! I may even get him to open the diary and take care of the to-do's in the annoying little thing soon.

Little Big Brother

2009-01-21T09:01:00.002+05:30

Me: Vir, what's inside mom's tummy?
Vir: A little baby
Me: Do you want a little baby?
Vir: No. Biiiiiike
Me: No, I'm asking you if you want a little baby, not a bike!
Vir: Biiiiikeeee. Biiiikeeee. Biiiiiiiiiiikkkkkkeee.

We think he wants a bike.

Looking for a partner in crime

2009-01-09T08:10:00.003+05:30

So he gets on the coffee table, makes himself comfortable and calls out to Baggdu who is sleeping peacefully on the carpet:

"Baggdu...comeon...table pe aajaaaa!"

(That's "Baggdu...comeon...get on the table!")

Storytime

2009-01-07T09:29:00.009+05:30

Vir has reached the stage where kids will do anything to try to stay up a little bit longer. His usual bed time routine used to be to just lie down on the bed with me, have his milk, and slowly drift off. About the time he started developing the idea that sleeping later would give him more time to do other stuff, he also discovered storytime. What a perfect excuse to stay up a little later than normal! And of course, two or three or four stories and rhymes are better than one because they take longer to tell:-). So now, when either Vijay or I take him to bed, we have a barrage of requests from him as soon as he's done with his bottle of milk. He has his favorites among the totally made up stories that Vijay and I have come up with to entertain him. There's a story about a Lucky Car - a red car that loves to take risks, yet never gets a scratch till she decides to take a big jump off a hill called Big Hill. We've never made it to the end, so I don't know what happens to Lucky Car...by the time I get to the point where Lucky Car is getting a car wash in preparation for her big day, Vir moves on to wanting a different story. If Vijay is the story teller, his favorite request if for the Lion and Monkey Story, which is about a monkey who isn't afraid of the tiger and actually manages to defeat him by jumping on a coconut tree and shaking it till a cocounut falls on the waiting tiger's head and knocks him unconscious. Another favorite is about a chipmunk who only eats peanuts...he needs three peanuts every day, one for breakfast, one for lunch, and one for dinner. He gets tired of going out to collect three peanuts everyday and decides to go for the big haul and look for a hundred peanuts in one marathon peanut hunting session. Of course, I don't know how this story turns out either since we invariably move on to rhymes by this time. Favorite rhymes keep changing too. The current favorites are Humpty Dumpty, Little Miss Muffet, and the Mighty Hokey Pokey. This last one is hilarious and Vir and I have Shroopie masi to thank for her contribution to the rhyme ensemble. I'm just glad he doesn't know what it means yet. Here goes:

I am the Mighty Hokey Pokey Tippy Top Top
All disobedience by beheading I will Stop Stop
Chippy Choppy Chippy Choppy Chippy Choppy

If you sing the last part cutely enough, you can ignore what the chopping is actually of! Vir calls this the Hokey Dob Dob poem. I wonder if this will scar him for life when he learns what it means. Time will tell I guess. Though hopefully we'll move on to more cheerful poems in a couple of weeks and he'll forget I ever almost messed up his head. And if he doesn't I'll just point him to the masi who started this whole thing!

Some things on my fun list

2009-01-06T11:07:00.018+05:30

Hi. My name is Vir and I spend all day in the pursuit of fun and happiness. The things I think are fun are generally in inverse proportion to the things that are allowed by my mother who seems to have nothing more productive to do than to watch me like a hawk and stop me from doing my thing. Seriously, woman, get a real job! I've put together a list of things that I like to do. Read it and tell me you think they're not fun. That'll show her.

Taking my mom's lovely colored soap bars and plonking them into the toilet. I love the little splash and the sound that comes with it.
Hunting down the bottle of toilet cleaner and plonking that in the toilet. That creates a bigger splash and is even more fun. It's almost always followed by a loud groaning sound from my mother too.
Okay, I've only done this once, but putting my dad's new copy of The Economist into the toilet was fun too.
Knocking over the stack of quilts in the bedroom, then running around the house covered in one of the quilts. It doesn't even hurt when I bang into a wall. Even more fun is covering Baggdu with one of the quilts and then jumping on top of him.
Heck, even without the quilt, jumping on Baggdu when he's sleeping is just plain great.
Pulling Baggdu's ears, tail, lower jaw, and other stuff. That guy is just amazing. So soft and pullable. Sometimes he knocks me around too...he can manage that just because he's so much heavier than I am, but he only does it to people he loves.
Climbing on top of the wooden, mother of pearl inlaid, freshly polished coffee table and doing an imitation of my mom yelling, "Get down, get down!"
Sharing my food with Baggdu. Nothing says I love you like taking licks of the same biscuit.
Eating dirt from the pots in the balcony. Anyone who says that stuff isn't yummy is wrong.
Throwing things off the table or bed while pretending I have nothing to do with it. Just to keep the appearance of ignorance and make things more realistic, I sometimes follow this up with a loud exclamation such as "Oh....gir gayaa!"
Disconnecting the cable box from the TV when my folks are watching. Hee hee hoohoooo!
Throwing the couch cushions on the floor and then jumping on them.
Spitting. When you're bored, try to make little puddles of spit (preferably on a wooden, mother of pearl inlaid, freshly polished coffee table) and then use your fingers to draw little spit shapes.

Well?

The last couple of weeks

2008-12-18T11:33:00.005+05:30

At a Chinese restaurant.
At the park, looking up at an airplane.

At the toy store

At the grocery store.

Watching TV with Neal Uncle.

Eating a pear stolen from the fridge.

I'm carrying around my camera phone all the time these days to make sure I get little snaps of everything he does...the picture quality isn't the best, but at least I get something! Too bad I can't take easy snapshots when he's talking because he says the funniest things these days.